October 21, 2014

More waiting.

There is a cleaning person at my house and I did not clean before she came. I told her I would be over  here in the living room "working" which is totally true and I'm also maybe waiting until I have more lives on Candy Crush. That is exactly the kind of thing I do when there are so many things to do and I don't know where to start.

There is a small dumpster in my driveway. I'm about to fill it with the stuff in the garage that needs to go and will not be making it to the next move because it should have never made the move here from the last move.

We haven't listed our house for sale yet because... waiting. Waiting on me to get over my cold and get back on track to getting it show ready. Waiting on the cleaning person to deep clean. Waiting on a window to be replaced. Waiting waiting. And it's okay, because I am a big believer in perfect timing, so this must be just part of the story. No hurry. More ocean.

We also have no idea where we are moving to. I can't even narrow down which city it should be. We can live in the super cool college town with beautiful views but our house might be smaller and with no yard. Also busy roads. Small town living has gotten me wayyy used to only 3 stop lights. Or we could live out in the country. I like space and trees and views -- and less stop lights --  but the kids want a neighborhood and houses right next door.

I guess as long as we have good schools and a roof over our heads, it does not matter. But please oh please have a nice kitchen and lots of windows.

October 8, 2014

Quittin' Time

There are several instances in my life that can be marked as roll-up-your-sleeves times. I am in one of those times right now. I smell like carpet cleaner. Have been scrubbing off and on today. Everything in the name of getting the house ready to sell. The washing machine won't drain and the refrigerator won't stop draining onto the kitchen floor. I am tired and snapping at my kids which makes me not like myself very much at all, and so many other things.

My mom is flying here tomorrow so that Jeff and I can go away for our anniversary this weekend. Fifteen years deserves a weekend away. Vegas would be nice but now it's house-hunting in Corvallis. Which is still nice because I've never been and am anxious to see where we're going to be living. And also I've already put in for Vegas for our sweet sixteen.

Anyway, we finally got our Seattle appointment so my mom's going to head up there with us next week and then fly back to Chicago after that. There's just so much still to do and you roll up your sleeves and eventually you get through it, you make it, and it all gets done but there comes a point in the evening of a roll-up-your-sleeves day where you have to call it quits and just curl up with that book you've been reading forever now because as soon as you finally do get to open it your eyes go to sleep.

The tiredness and utter exhaustion sure has been a constant in motherhood. I can look back at it over the years, almost fondly. At least it's one thing we can count on. You'd just think that something so amazing as being a mom could get a break once and a while rather than it breaking us. When is motherhood's quittin' time? I'm too tired to finish this thought, but I get it.

September 23, 2014

It's time to move on. It's time to get going. What lies ahead I have no way of knowing...

We are moving on up. Again.

It seems to be taking me extra long to come around about it. I love it here. It's nourishing and beautiful and I can see the ocean from my house that I love so very much.

But, it makes sense for us to move on. It's just sooner than we ever thought. There was a whole week or two of hand-wringing and worrying half the night (literally) about how to tell the kids. I knew they'd be so upset. I just wasn't ready to deal with it. And so we decided to tell them last week and ended up putting it off for most of the day until we finally sat them down and their response was 100% on board excitement. All four of them. I was shocked.

We have awesome kids.

They really miss restaurants and stores.

I just can't figure out, why the tease? Why the beautiful house by the sea in a tiny tourist storybook town? And so finally I came to understand that this place must be my Pyramids, as in The Alchemist, "...you wouldn't have seen the Pyramids. They're beautiful, aren't they?"

We'll only be about an hour from some of the most beautiful parts of the Oregon coast. We'll still be in Oregon- a place that truly feels like home. We'll be closer to a lot of things that we kind of need right now. Yes, I'm still selling it to myself but I always love wherever I am when I'm there. I'm still here. Soon I'll be there. I've never been good with the in between times.

Until then, we have to sell our house. There is no big rush. But mostly because I am so tired that I'm weepy and grumpy and moving at a snail's pace and all I can think about are all the peanut butter and chocolate things. And slushies from the gas station. And boxes, again.

Title lyrics: Tom Petty "Time To Move On"  (a must watch & listen)

Just writing. 
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