July 31, 2015

curled up

We went to a puppet show at the library and it was super cheesy but cute with a good message and Gray and Ivy enjoyed it. We played at the park for a long time after it was over and it was nice to chat with friends. It's these moments that I forget that we're moving. I am glad it's not always on my mind and that it doesn't prevent me from being involved while we're still here. And I'm also not hit with sadness after times like these, because for many people here it's not their last stop either. Our paths could cross again someday. If the past three years have taught us anything, you just never know. 

I curled up with a book until Jeff made it home. We snuggled with the kids in our big bed before bedtime and imagined if we just had one room with a big family bed in our next house. It's all we really need. The kids promised they would snuggle with us even when they are in college and come home for the holidays. I'm going to hold them to this.

(day fifty-two)

July 30, 2015

the right thing

I posted this pic on my mom's FB today for her birthday. It was taken eight years ago during her bday celebration in Chicago.

Today was library story time for Ivy and I went to the grocery store- twice- which is not all that unusual for me. I hosted book club here for the first time and only two people showed up- including me.

We read The Turner House (I loved it) and then spent the whole time talking about our news feeds and #BlackLivesMatter and how with each year, each week, it's just more unbelievably heartbreaking. We are ready to do the work and need to figure out just what that work is where we are right now. I feel like everyone has something to say but I've yet to really see anyone say the right thing. And I'm beginning to think there is no right thing to say. We have just got to get to doing and being the right things. How I desperately hope I am raising my kids to keep the blinders off and their hearts open wide for social justice.

(day fifty-one)

July 29, 2015

what I'll do

Somedays the waiting creeps up and hangs out for a while. I feel a bit down, bored, distant, the there's so much to do but you can't start yet feeling. My sleep is a bit off and that means I'm tired and when I'm tired I can't shake it.

I have been thinking about what I'll do when school starts and the kids will be gone all day. I thought I would be so ready for that time in life but I think I'm dreading it, because I'm very not ready. It's hard to imagine because I don't know where I'll be. Literally. I think it will be a good time to learn new skills. I also think, with regret, maybe I should have been learning new skills leading up to this point but I should probably be easy on myself, I've been busy and I have been doing fulfilling, meaningful work. And I guess I have acquired a whole lot of random skills that has gotten me this far.

Anyway. Tonight the kids had bagel bites and veggies for dinner. I felt like I was phoning it in but they were thrilled. And I baked brownies for dessert and mini zucchini muffins for book club tomorrow.

(day fifty)  
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