December 31, 2015

Moving On: End of Year Letter to 2015


When I think about this year, I see myself mostly in a fog, then the euphoric moments I was out of the fog, then when it rolled back in. During one of those out of the fog moments I could see clearly that I've been resisting my own way, possibly and most likely as long as I can remember. Maybe it's out of survival or out of fear or maybe it's just who I am, but today - yes today on the last day of the year - I've accepted that all of it is part of the journey. Even the getting lost along the way (or thinking I was lost) was is part of the path. If I can think on that, things are looking way way up!

At the beginning of this year, I thought we would have sold our house and moved by now. So we didn't, and I can't imagine we won't move next year but what do I know? Someday we'll read this very chapter with perspective and it will all make sense. Right now it doesn't make a lick of sense but we're going with it. I have a few very specific things I could throw myself on the floor about and it would be totally valid and understandable. Sometimes I do, and I have a little cry about the unfairness of it all. And then I move on.

I'm ready to move on from this year and hope to bring my optimistic perspective into the next, the last year of another decade of my life. I feel like 2015 was a lot of pain and digging and working... toward the growth I'll see in 2016. Necessary and productive. Not a bad year after all.

10 comments:

  1. Here's to a 2016 full of amazing moments. And prayers for the selling of the house and moving. xo

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  2. Wishing you a healthy, happy 2016 in which you reap the rewards of all your hard work of 2015.

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  3. I have been so long gone from the blogosphere but I logged into my account today and saw that you updated and here I am. I just spent the better part of an hour reading backwards through your last year. It is so strange to me that my babies are so big now and it made me realize it to see yours so grown - a high schooler! My goodness. Lovely family. Hope all good things for you in 2016.

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    1. I don't remember what name I used to use online, but my blog was Eggs In Our Coop. :-)

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    2. Hi, Jessica!! Oh how I miss the old blog days!

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  4. We started looking for a house Sept/Oct(?) of 2014. We looked and looked and looked (made offers twice!), and by the time August of 2015 rolled around I was so over it and couldn't understand why we couldn't just find something.

    Then my husband got an amazing job opportunity 1700 miles away, and we moved at the end of the month!

    If we had bought a house, we would have had to turn it down. Instead, we started a new adventure. In the thick of it I just couldn't understand why finding a new house had to be so trying. But eventually it became clear that the universe had other plans!

    I hope whatever plans are in store for you in 2016 are revealed soon, and that they are everything you could wish for!

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    1. Also, because of this move, I was able to move away from a job that wasn't healthy (mentally/spiritually) for me any longer; and am now pursuing my dreams of becoming a yoga teacher and doula!

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    2. That is SO awesome! I think we are hoping for a scenario like this- something that will make sense of it all.

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  5. You are so strong and I am so proud of you...2016 will bring brighter days...I pray!

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  6. You are so strong and I am so proud of you...2016 will bring brighter days...I pray!

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