July 29, 2015

what I'll do

Somedays the waiting creeps up and hangs out for a while. I feel a bit down, bored, distant, the there's so much to do but you can't start yet feeling. My sleep is a bit off and that means I'm tired and when I'm tired I can't shake it.

I have been thinking about what I'll do when school starts and the kids will be gone all day. I thought I would be so ready for that time in life but I think I'm dreading it, because I'm very not ready. It's hard to imagine because I don't know where I'll be. Literally. I think it will be a good time to learn new skills. I also think, with regret, maybe I should have been learning new skills leading up to this point but I should probably be easy on myself, I've been busy and I have been doing fulfilling, meaningful work. And I guess I have acquired a whole lot of random skills that has gotten me this far.

Anyway. Tonight the kids had bagel bites and veggies for dinner. I felt like I was phoning it in but they were thrilled. And I baked brownies for dessert and mini zucchini muffins for book club tomorrow.

(day fifty)  

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