February 21, 2014

His hair smelled like the back yard.

His hair smelled like the back yard. And he curled up so still in my arms, the recliner squeaking with every rock but I kept on, thinking any moment he'd jump up and be off. Legs hanging over the sides but he stayed. Flashess of feelings of when he was new, when he was two, and then they would slip from my reach. Holograms. Flickers of a distant memory and his lashes hit my cheek, I caught him looking up at me and back down again.

February 16, 2014

What It's Like To Be The Mom of a Teenager

The first thing Noah did as a thirteen year old was get his little brother a glass of water in the wee hours of the morning and help him through a coughing fit. I awoke and whispered to him a sleepy thank you and Happy Birthday as I shuffled Gray into a steamy bathroom.

He's one of the helpers.

He told me the other day that he's happy when other people are happy. And that's who he is and I love it but also hate to know he bears that curse, too.

And so I thought now was as good a time as any to journal my motherhood thoughts, on just what it's like to be the mom of a teenager. Truthfully, I think it's really funny. It makes me laugh. I don't really feel any different.

I did take a nap today and slept like I'd just given birth. Deep and healthy rest, relieved... and readying for what's still to come.

Then my five year old fell asleep in my arms tonight, unexpectedly and yet, so very right on time. I held her for a long long while.

February 13, 2014

The Book Fair

My dad never said no whenever I wanted a book, ever. I hope to always be able to do the same with my kids.

We made quite a stack at the school book fair. I'd turn our walls into a library if I could. Nothing but books. For now they are just in stacks all over the place and I love that, too.

So, we're officially Oregonians now. At least in my head I think that because we've been here a whole year. It feels like we've always lived here, this little perfect life. Funny how quickly you heal from the struggles to get to your happy place when you get to your happy place.

I am busy. A really fulfilling busy of school talent show directing, play rehearsals, work, book club, and having friends over for coffee and Mexican hot chocolate and snuggling on the couch. Yes, I have friends that snuggle. And I am not talking about my kids.

So busy I can hardly find the time to read this month's book club selection. Which looks like this:

and when we were at the bookstore went a little something like this: "Molly, look at the book we chose for book club! We have to pick a different one. It's 748 pages!" and she was all, No. We are reading it.

And so I finally carved out a couple hours to read today and here I am. Taking pictures of the book. I'm on page 12.

Oh, and I just found this photo on my camera and remembered I wanted to share it... the neighbors behind us trimmed a bunch of trees and now this is my view of the sunsets resting into the ocean from my bedroom!

Ok, back to reading.