Do you see it?

If I squint I can see the waves from here. With the binoculars I can see the ocean spray.

When I get back from taking the kids to school, I come in and shut their bedroom doors. The way the light falls on their unmade beds is like art, I want to take a picture, I want to paint it. It gives an excuse to leave it. I find myself restless here, being this close to the ocean it feels like we should be down there every waking moment. Why are we in this house right now with the ocean right there? We'll drive by or right up to it and I'll say "Jeff! Look at that wave! Look! Do you see that?" and he's all "I see, I see it." Every time.

We tried a new church. I'm glad I've held my tongue until now because, I need to give it time. I'm confused at why none of the kids go to my kids' schools, and why we've yet to ever see any of these people around. I don't want to be in a bubble and I don't think that's how it's supposed to be. I just feel like of all the things church should be easy and safe. It's been a long time since I've felt either.

But if I was the church-starting type, we'd meet down by the sea, front row seat to God.

And I know I know where I'm sitting right now is a front row seat to God, but still.

Talent Show

Ivy got her ears pierced. For a long time she didn't want to, but suddenly it's all she could talk about and so, I had promised I would only do it when she asked, and off we went! She did great, kind of acted like it was no big deal really. I must note that when choosing her starter earrings, she pointed right at the largest fake diamonds they had- like 2 carat CZs! "I want diamonds." I redirected her to the much smaller sparkly pink flowers.

We went out for sushi afterwards and she ate an entire veggie roll, miso soup, and cucumber salad. She also thoughtfully asked me, "Who's the guy on the penny again?" And not one person we encountered the entire day didn't find out about her new earrings. The best part was that every single one made a big to-do about it and she just gobbled that up.

Last night was Grayson's elementary school talent show. I took him and Ivy and it was absolutely darling in the gym with old mismatched folding chairs, except for the fact that the minute it started both kids turned into limp heavy ragdolls on either side and couldn't sit up straight for the life of me. They laid all over my lap/chest/legs the entire time. Gray plucked at my arm hairs and Ivy literally wept when she found out that she wasn't in the talent show. Still, it was worth it, and I was so impressed by these little folks here in our new adorable town.

Around These Parts

The kids were off yesterday and after three p.m. we were still wearing our pajamas. I was in a Downton Abbey haze - having caught up with the finale earlier in the morning (I'm not happy about it either). The boys' eyes were bloodshot from too much xBox, Ivy had found the leftover Valentine candy, and I frantically ushered everyone into the car. We needed air and exercise.

Other than the (awesome) change of scenery, life is per usual around here. I make the same meals in the crock pot, we watch the same TV shows, albeit on different, weird channels. I hardly know what time it is or what day it is. That's nothing new.

I'm feeling great. I was having some major headaches in the past month that I figured was due to stress and fatigue with the move but discovered that going gluten-free helped 100% so now I'm one of those people. But I've found my groove with what I can and can't have and it's all good.

I started knitting this sweater for myself on the first day of our road trip out here because I thought I'd have so much time to finish it and, you know, I think I've maybe gotten twenty rows in. I bring it to Ivy's ballet class and work on it a tiny bit at a time. It's only a forty-minute session. At this rate, I'll hopefully be finished by the time she graduates. But I'd really like to wear it now, so I need to get on that.

There's just so much to do, the days are content with full bellies and the roar of the ocean is our soundtrack. It looks like it could swallow you up any moment, and it surely would, but it calls you closer. I'm so glad we have this chance to get to know it well.

Pink Skies

I make sure to walk down to the water at least once a day. Sometimes it's just in time for sunset. I think this could be our home forever but just in case, I'll have never gone a day living here without taking in the ocean. 

Tonight it was a pink sky, bright bursts from behind the rocks. Maybe it will get old, I don't know how it could. I guess I shall see. 

There Is A Drawbridge

There is a drawbridge to get from our town to the next, bigger town 23 miles away. I haven't counted the stop lights yet but there are only a few, and two fast-food restaurants- Dairy Queen and Subway. We have plenty of coffee shops and cafes, which I also love. And a hardware store with a dog who follows you around.

"She knows which birds are singing and the names of the trees where they're performing..." (Avett Brothers of course)

I want to be that girl. Looking out the windows in my living room, to the right is the ocean and to the left are green mountains. There are trees in my yard that I don't know, sounds, and the air doesn't remind me of anything I've breathed before.

We are surrounded by nature. Our area observes a dark sky ordinance to protect wildlife habitats and the view of the stars. I've never seen such a darkness as it is here by the ocean. We have no street lights this close to the water. It is pitch black. The only thing you can do is look up and see all the stars. It's shocking. In a good way.

This place doesn't feel foreign to me. Not familiar but not totally un-familiar. Not like I feel like I've been here before or déjà vu  but like, the pieces just fit. Like, oh, I get it.  If you know me, you know that is my favorite feeling in the world.

People ask and are wondering how we're getting along out here and we're just going through the motions, you know life, as you do. Tonight we even booked our first babysitter for Valentine's dinner. We're going out! Moving right along.

Even by the ocean.

We have Internet!

I am kind of at a loss for words other than that. Um, I love this house and this town and the ocean and that the kids are happy at their new schools. This week was just our first week and a lot of "new and moving-in business" to get out of the way so I am looking forward to getting past all of that. There's only a few straggling boxes here and there, things are finding their place. We're adjusting to the time change pretty well, too. (EST to PST is a three hour difference!)

This morning we woke up and it wasn't dark outside, and we were all in our house together. That was wonderful. We drove along the ocean to breakfast and then showed Jeff our morning school drop-off routine. The kids' schools are all next to each other in a row pretty much. And they all go at the same time (much later than Ohio's 6:40 am bus pick up and four different start times!)

Instead of turning down our road on the way home this morning we went a little past it to walk down to the beach. There really are just no words for how good it is. How this place makes you feel, what it looks like, and to know when we tell the kids we can come back to the beach tomorrow that we really can. We could go there right now if we wanted. It's right there.

I didn't realize it until I was on the drive out here but for a long time I've felt a pull, almost like a magnet and it was bringing me here. There are a couple times in my life I can specifically recall God physically moving me from one place to another, and this is one of them. So much of the last six month makes very little sense but I don't really need it to.

We're planning to try a new church tomorrow and get started on this new volume of our lives. I'm ready to jump back in as Listen To Your Mother 2013 is off and running and life just keeps on no matter where you live it. Even by the ocean. It's good.

February FOUR

All four had school today- their first day here. They did great. Noah & Carter go to the same school, Gray's is just next door, and Ivy's is around the corner.

Ivy and I ran a few errands after I picked her up and then we came back to the hotel and totally zonked out until the boys' bus came. She was still sleeping after five and I was afraid I'd finally have to miss a fourth of the month photo, but we got the shot in time.

They are standing in the middle of our street in front of our new house and just beyond there behind them is the great and mighty Pacific Ocean.

Oh, and remember just one month ago?

I take photos of my kids on the fourth of every month. Four for four. (Here's February 2011 and 2012.) 

You can see all past monthly photos here.   

We made it.

We made it to our new house just as the sun was setting Thursday night. I documented much of the way here. The drive into Oregon was fascinating. I had no idea. So much to see, so much beauty.

I love the house. We are staying at a hotel literally a few steps down the street closer to the ocean until our furniture arrives on Tuesday. From my backyard you can see the ocean through the trees. From anywhere outside (and sometimes in) you can hear it. Sometimes it's a loud roar. All times it's amazing. 

Friday we kind of got some affairs in order- visited the kids' schools, bought a washer & dryer, set up Internet and phone and such. Saturday we found a new favorite breakfast spot and walked around our little downtown area, then we did a little sightseeing to show my dad the sea lions and more of the coast, and we were off to Eugene for the night so I could take him to the airport early this morning.

I started crying just before bed annnnd pretty much didn't stop until earlier today. It was so hard to see him off. I stayed along the gates at security until he had to go all the way through. The concerned look in the airport parking lot attendant's eyes just made me cry more. But I'm okay now and he did great and is already back home safe.  It is just really final, and official. I am here.