October 27, 2013

Contents May Shift In Transit

Our house was on a tilt- Noah was at a friend's birthday party for the evening and we were unbalanced in his absence. I could feel the furniture ready to slide to the other side of the room, and the kids would run in and say they thought they heard him in the kitchen. Is he back? When will he be done? Those four are one unit.

But we are noticing the shifting. We'll have a teenager in a few months. He is stretching up and out, developing a life outside of ours. And then it's time for me to pick him up. He texts me and I drive in the dark and all is righted, for now.

October 8, 2013

Spot of Time

Sunset, low tide

We have a table and chairs. We sit around it and the six of us have plenty of room and our hands meet together at the perfect distance when we pray. I finally found all my fall stuff in a box marked Christmas and I filled a grocery cart full of pumpkins for the front porch. Now it's starting to become my house. Though sometimes I still look out all these windows and walk these floors and see the new furniture and it feels like I'm in somebody else's house. The pumpkins bring me back.

This beautiful place where we live, so alluring to photograph you'd think I'd take a zillion pictures and sometimes I try, but so often it just does not translate. I'm not sure if it's my camera or my peace of mind, but I think if I can't capture it exactly then I ... don't. 

And I face this with my words. I think in the past what I've written was true, but writing about it shined up my life, what really happened. At the time it made me feel better, less crazy, happier. Saved me. I don't know how long this will last, but it seems I've arrived at a spot of time where the days move easier without the need to write myself a lifeline. Am I on pause or moving forward? Drifting along? Not sure. I'm just going to go with it.