June 24, 2013

This End Up


We bought the house.

It was like six months ago I was sitting on my couch in Ohio fretting about literally where in the world we were going to live and I found it on Craigslist. True story. I had never even seen it in person but traveled all this way and it really was our dream home.

I've been waiting until it was official to unpack the rest of our boxes, a pile of broken down ones still stacked high in case we needed them again. A limbo that was irritating but manageable. Shallow breaths now let out long, and deep in. I'm thankful we had a place to live and knew well enough we could make a home out of any where.

Some of our boxes were packed in Indiana, some from our short time in Ohio. Here on the coast I donate too-small high-wedged shoes I bought on Belmont in Chicago when I was eighteen and I am a bee carrying the pollen across the country.

There is a peace I've found, I don't know if it's the ocean down the street or all the green or this house with more windows than walls, that's probably it, but music sounds better here, old things feel new. I feel lighter, like I forgot I was still carrying whatever I was carrying mindlessly from room to room and I finally put it down .

These new people make it easy to be friends and even easier to be alone if I need it. And I can tell my story, any version, however much or how little, but it will always be true and me, with the same beginning, where it all started, lines upon lines in my palms.

just write