September 1, 2012

Under The Pink

I set out for a late drive to Target, an escape I called it. The moon was huge and I smiled with a knowing that it was hung there for me.

It feels cliché to say I've found my groove, the ridges of my soul fitting smoothly into drawers here. Open and close. A familiarity while everything is still shiny and new. Best of both worlds? Or just happy in the world I'm in? But it's not like I'm not expecting the drop-off, it's terrifying that I sense the darkness just waiting to pummel me when I'm good and comfortable. There's a slight dullness to my euphoria here as I anticipate the edge to wear off. I look to Jeff and he says we're good and for once I'm going to have faith that it will be all right if I run trustingly into the sun. 

I've been worried, almost sick, about one unaccounted-for box. It had Ivy's first dress in it, and I had carefully packed and marked so that I could find it quickly after the move. But it's alluded me these past two weeks and sometimes I can't fall asleep at night because of it. I had always imagined that when Ivy got her pink room we'd hang it on a pretty hook on her wall. When we picked out the paint color -a story of its own, to come- I had already packed away the dress. 

This morning as we primped the house and put away the last of the boxes in preparation for my Mom and Mommal to arrive, I found the box and tore it open to find the dress. I ran upstairs to see, oh please let it be the right pink and it was. It is. 



  1. Newness can be so scary. We talk of our future home and I want it to be this place where Nora remembers a magical childhood of running down the halls and building forts and little nooks. You seem to have found right where you belong. It's scary. But I'm praying for you, that your family is able to dig deep down, root and blossom.

  2. I have tears! Cannot believe what a dress can do to the emotions. Thank you so much for this wonderful memory. Just knowing my labor of love still lives, means the world to me!!

  3. Oh how I cherish my daughter's first dress! It makes my heart swell every time I pull it out! I am so happy that you found it!
    We hung all of Addie's princess dresses across the window in her room when she was 3.
    I have several dresses from when she was a baby/toddler and I still save about 1 dress a year that I can't ever imagine another little girl wearing!

  4. Oh good. Whew. I understand the relief.

  5. I love it when your words whisper to my soul. Yes, let's run trustingly into the sun, leaving darkness behind and wondering if we'll ever be back.

  6. Everything in it's right place:) Sleep well my dear. XO

  7. Aww. Glad you found it. It's a beautiful dress by the way. Good thing you dint loose hope in finding it. And yes, good thing you have the patience.

  8. It looks perfect in Ivy's new pink room...

  9. What an amazing mama you are! It looks perfect.
    And they called me crazy for keeping Isabella's firsts...hmph. Now, when our Ava can wear some of her lovelies, it truly warms my heart.


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