We were invited to a fall party at Liz & Jon's gorgeous home and as much as I (think that I) want to meet people, sometimes I wonder if it would be better if it's just us. If we don't let anyone else in and maybe it will be easier that way for everyone... or maybe I really want someone to just show up and crawl under a blanket on my couch and we'd talk and "get" each other but all this having to go out and get dressed and make an impression and stuff is exhausting. So I was wavering on the party thing.
Plus, I fell the other night and ripped the knee of the only jeans I have, and when I went to buy a bottle of wine to take to the party I found out that Target doesn't sell wine on Sundays! So I got a candle candle! of all lame things to take and when I got home I couldn't find our gift wrap or my nice cards- who knows which box they're in. It was like it was a sign that we shouldn't go. Jeff was out of town, too, so I'd have to take the kids all by myself, with my unwrapped candle. As much as I think I'm present and participating in this incredible life I've been given, I sometimes picture it all quite differently. It almost made sense to just stay home and watch the Emmy's.
But I knew Liz wouldn't care about the candle and I could see into the future that I'd be so happy if I just showed up and it would be good for us already. So we went. And we stayed until it was very dark. And I'm so glad we did.