July 30, 2012

Slow And Steady Wins The Race

It feels like I'm moving backwards with all the house stuff. August is just about here and I don't know where the kids will go to school. I work in one room an entire day and emerge to find the kids have left another room + the kitchen in shambles. All the laundry and dishes and snuggling and cooking and bedtime stories still need to be done on top of packing up our entire lives.

And I don't want help. I mean, I want it, but I don't. I need the kids here even if they are un-doing all my doing. My anxiety threat level is green and low when they are with me and in times like these, we need to keep it that way. It's my house and my things and my mess and I know where stuff goes.

I'm a drawer-emptier. First I'm a filler- with anything and everything and then when it won't close anymore I dump the whole thing into a box or a bag and then put it in the basement for, I don't know when? Times like now? Where I'm forced to sort through old magazines and expired coupons and report cards mixed with really important documents and photos and the MAC Twig lipstick (and lip liner) I wore when we got married. I'm pretty sure if you could open up my head you'd see the same thing.

So I've been sifting and boxing and throwing away. In the mornings I check the houses for sale online, make the kids breakfast, do a Goodwill drop off or Freecycle post, bag up and box more stuff. I'll take a break to eat lunch while I watch Netflix (no Olympics here without TV unless we watch at Mommal's) - I just started watching Parks & Recreation. Then back to the boxes, then dinner, dishes, boxes/snuggling time/boxes, and then when I just about can't keep my eyes open any longer I'll lie in bed to read- getting through The Age of Miracles: A Novel right now (I just finished reading To Kill a Mockingbird and wish it never ended) -and it's never as long as I'd like and I always hope to sneak in more pages the following day but find the cycle very much the same. But I know I'm getting closer- each box is one more step to our new house, wherever it may be, I can just see it waiting for us, though, and in my mind it is kind and patient.

-just write 

10 comments:

  1. It amazes me that you find time to read, seriously. But at least you read really good books.

    Amazing new adventures do await you, my friend!

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  2. Check and see if the Vietnam Vets of America (VVA) are in your area. They come through twice a week with a huge truck and they will pick up your donations and leave a receipt. They saved my sanity when we moved last August.

    xx.

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  3. I can't believe you find time to blog. -For me, blogging is one of the first things I let go when crazy busy. Best of luck with your new adventure!

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  4. When I move, I have people who come to my house, box everything up, take apart the furniture, load it on a truck, and then I don't see my stuff again for a while. And even though I'm not allowed to pack boxes myself, I don't have time for reading, or dinner, or dishes.

    I'm incredibly impressed.
    And I am fairly sure that there are AMVETS in your area that do pick ups of donations, if that might take some of the stress of multiple Goodwill trips off of your shoulders!

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  5. Don't you hate it when people say, "I know how you feel?" Still, can I say that? Just this once? We just moved, and I didn't know all of those things: where we'd live, where my kid would go to school, how the money works (so many zeros!!!!) and how in sweet mother earth I'd get my house packed and things organized for an international move in the shortest of timespans. But I did. We made it. And you will too.

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  6. Oh this makes me feel so much better because this is me, comforted when my kids are close and it is all chaotic... in my house, my drawers, my mind... life is just better this way. And thanks for the book recommendation, I need a new one.

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  7. What an undertaking! You will get there!
    Michelle
    http://normalchaosforamultitaskmom.blogspot.com/2012/07/in-need-of-some-emotional-duct-tape.html

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  8. I know it WILL BE kind and patient, and a million other wonderful things. I admire you that your stress/anxiety levels are green when your kids are with you. I think I'd be the opposite if it were me doing what you're doing.

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  9. Oh my, good luck to you! You described so perfectly my moving experience just a few months ago - I wanted to do it all, no help, my mess, even when it required hours and days of sorting and boxing. You'll get there!

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  10. Keep on keeping on....all the little pieces and steps and long days will soon empty out onto new floors and new memories and new drawers:) And yes, I see your house as kind and patient too...XO

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