July 8, 2012

On Pause



Being open online is difficult when you are keeping secrets. I could go on saying something beautifully vague, but then that's annoying. I want to share the whole picture, because it's a good one. So, I'm in waiting until then.

And maybe this is a lesson, I'm rediscovering the value of moments with a few special people instead of the whole world - who isn't even really listening anyway. I've been in this deep sleep, plugging my energy into a physical and emotional and mental distraction with so very little return. Yes, it makes me feel special except for when it makes me feel incredibly unspecial.

This isn't an I'm leaving Twitter or Facebook rant, but it's something I'm sorting through. I enjoy blogging and social media and think it does have worth. Just not as much as I've previously believed. It's all relative.

I just didn't want there to be one more day of not writing here, but I can't yet write what I want to say. And despite this eerie and melancholy preamble, it's going to be a very happy story.

23 comments:

  1. Interesting that you posted this now. If you can believe it, I was thinking of you just this morning, wondering how you were, felt prompted to pray and hold you up a bit. And then this, right at 6:40 my time, popped up. anyway, take it for what it's worth which may not be much. I understand, been there, too, and I look forward to hearing the whole story, when you can, if you can. In the meantime, we'll miss you, I will miss you. You're loved.

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  2. I'm glad it's a good secret. Those are that are well worth the wait and make the vague beauty okay!

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  3. I'm glad it's going to be a happy story. I look forward to hearing it.
    And you, your blog and the words you write have worth. They inspire even when you feel you have no inspiration. I'm glad you are here when you are. And it's OK when you're not too.

    Happy Sunday!

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  4. You, my friend, are in my heart, always. And prayers. And secrets are not always a bad thing. Sharing them only when one feels safe to do so, that is a good thing. Oh my sister, I pray you know just how loved you are, and special, and that God holds you in His Heart, in a very special place reserved only for you.

    Much love,
    Janelle

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  5. LOVE that opening picture! So beautiful. And I appreciate your vulnerable heart in sharing what you can.
    Catherine Denton

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  6. I am always keeping secrets and tired of hearing myself talk about everything BUT and myself myself myself. It pushes me away from writing publicly. I am glad you have a good secret. I hope it's that you're moving by me. Ha.

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  7. Lately I've been really bad about wanting to share what I'm thinking and feeling but then not sharing and I end up choking on the words and drowning under whatever emotion.

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  8. Excited to see what you have in store. :) All in good time...

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  9. I kind of understand...because whenever I am "silent" in my writing it's because I'm struggling through something or working through something or LEARNING something and I just can't seem to find the words to write. And that's okay. :)

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  10. sounds like maybe you are working on something good. so glad! enjoy your time :)

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  11. In my imagination, your secret is amazing and beautiful and full of happy.

    I just can't quit you, so you better come back (when you're ready).

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  12. your words always inspire...do what feels right...a happy story sounds just right

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  13. Ooo, I am totally intrigued. You always seem to be brewing something beautiful in that mind of yours. I look forward to finding out what it is!

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  14. Happy for your happy. And that it is yours. :)

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  15. I know exactly what you mean. :) I'm in a similar place at the moment & don't want to jinx all the things that seem to have fallen into place. Sweet dreams my friend.

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  16. I just love, love your posts--you have a gift with words, dear blogger...

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  17. keeping a secret teaches strength...

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  18. Beautifully stated.

    I especially liked this part: "I'm rediscovering the value of moments with a few special people instead of the whole world - who isn't even really listening anyway."

    You have such a way with words.

    stephanie@metropolitanmama.net

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  19. Thank you (from the bottom of my heart) for always sharing your heart....

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  20. Thank you (from the bottom of my heart) for always sharing your heart....

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