Today is better. It took a while but I clawed my way out and probably the iced latte helped, which is tricky because I avoid caffeine when I'm anxious but it helps when I'm depressed. Right now I'm good. I'm praying that I'll feel even more relaxed on the plane. How embarrassing if my skin doesn't fit and my feelings don't feel right in front of Jeff's clients and co-workers. That's what's tripping me up but thankfully he's my stabilizer and if I'm with him, I'm okay.
I'd like it to be on the record that I actually like everything I've packed to wear and feel happy about it all, without the need to shop for anything new.
I was dreading being apart from the kids but after today and all the yelling and screaming (them, not me, for once) I can say I am so very ready. As I was preparing Ivy again for my being gone, she burst into tears and I said "It's okay, you'll have so much fun!" and she said she was crying because she couldn't go to Grandma's RIGHT NOW.
We all desperately need this time out. It was super quiet while I've been writing here and then Gray shrieked up the stairs because Ivy bit him on the arm. It's only a little mark. He will live.
(I bought Ivy's ridiculous romper, by Hula Mula from Zulily.)