In a moment of weakness I told Noah we could get Blizzards later. I just wanted to get through the thrift store with all four kids and pay and he had found a Blizzard maker for $12.99. That is way too much for Goodwill, dude. So of course tonight when I collapsed onto my bed he was kind enough to remind me of my promise. I went, because if there's one thing I am consistent about it's keeping my kids' promises. And also they would never let me off the hook anyway.
I think for a long time I mistakenly thought my anxiety to be normal, you know, it's just part of the package as a mother of four kids. That constant sense of urgency. There is no rest, there is much to be done, there is exhaustion and no option to be weak about it. This is just how it goes, this is what I signed up for. That kind of thing.
I'm still playing catch up from the lice incident almost three months ago. I'm not certain I'll ever fully recover.
I dare say I'd like to buy one of those trendy party banners on etsy in white, hang them across my front porch, in surrender. A string of white flags flapping for everyone to see because I don't care if they know the truth and I need their mercy.
We drove by the house today and Barn Cat was sitting outside on the window ledge and he looked right at me.