February 10, 2012

the dance

ivy dances

We sat at a four-top near the fireplace, Mommal's walker parked next to all the other walkers by the coat rack with the feathered fedora hat. The four of us a chain, generations. My grandmother, my mom, me, and my daughter lunching at the Cracker Barrel.

A round table nearby, in the corner- ladies celebrating their 86th birthdays, and the whole restaurant sang to them. It made me want to happy cry, and later Ivy ran to them to say happy birthday and give hugs to old people she didn't know, even one with an oxygen mask. She said her mother-in-law's name was Ivy.

ivy dancer

In the car she chattered on about her imaginary friends and all the exciting things they get to do and see and I jolt at the sound of her voice, it's lower today. Not the high birdy sound but different, older, and her words, they are suddenly more mature and imaginative.

freely

Mommal's voice is changing, too. It's shaky and higher. I've been afraid that lately I'd lost my own voice but I now realize it's not lost, it's just evolving, and it's actually wonderful whatever it is, this time I'm in, I get to discover. Ivy starts dance next week, and Carter has joined Little League. I find my marks on stage and move into place.

spin

Tonight we made cupcakes and with Pandora on the classical station it was like we had our own soundtrack, like we were in a movie, she cracked and stirred and I lived every moment of it not like it was our last, but like it was only the beginning. Because it so is.

14 comments:

  1. This here ---> "I've been afraid that lately I'd lost my own voice but I now realize it's not lost, it's just evolving, and it's actually wonderful whatever it is, this time I'm in, I get to discover."

    Amen. And amen.

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  2. I felt dreamy and happy reading this!

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  3. Yes, it so is.

    (Beautifully written.)

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  4. I love this. But then, I love everything you write. Such sweet pictures of Ivy, too.

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  5. Raw beauty and inspiration.... And I love that Ivy went and hugged the ladies! Sweetness!!

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  6. The last two sentences, Steph. That's what hope sounds like, baby.

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  7. This hit home for me today. We are going through something that is such a challenge for me. But it wouldn't be so challenging if I wasn't stuck, trying to get through it without being flexible. Your sentence, "I find my marks on stage and move into place," is such an inspiration to me.

    Have a great weekend.

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  8. oh yes, the journey is just starting to take you to new places...a little bend in the road. So lovely.

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  9. Mickey takes dance class as well. She LOVES it. Every day she wakes up and asks if it is dancing school day. She wants to wear her tutu and leotard all the time. After five years of hockey it is so fun to have a dancer in the house as well. :)

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  10. Steph, you have sounded so much happier lately. The sun is shining over here and I am much more positive, too. Glad to see you're finding your voice again!

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  11. I love that you have a sweet girl that will wish anyone a happy birthday, even the ones with oxygen masks that might scare other littles. I love that our lives have so many beginnings that need to be celebrated. Bring on the cupcakes!

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  12. your writing is so beautiful. it captivates, and gives the loveliest mental picture of the ebb and flow of family life.

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  13. Probably you don't want to hear this, Mama, but I could hardly believe those were Miss Ivy's legs up there in that top photo. Growing, growing.

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