November 15, 2011

Wonders of the world

I'm going to just write it all out. This was me last night.

If I leave any sort of writing legacy, I will be known as the mom who only writes about how she can't find the balance and yet can't stop looking at her kids while they sleep. It's like that memory eraser wand thing in sci-fi movies. They hypnotize me with their faces and poof. What? Where am I? How can I get more of these beautiful tricky things to fill my days?

And then I teeter on a panic thought -- how have I let so many nights go by that they've drifted off to sleep on their own? And I was not there to watch. It's like the sunset that happens Every Single Night but we go on driving or looking down when oh my God how can you not be paralyzed in awe?

- linking up w/ just write


  1. Okay, I'm a tad freaked out since we both mentioned the "memory eraser thing" in sci-fi movies. SERIOUSLY. I worded it MUCH the same way.

    That's CRAZY girl!!!!

    And yes, I get this.

  2. I laughed out loud at the legacy thing. But it's a good one because it's pretty much how it feels to be a mom.

  3. I always always have to go in a second time and watch them sleeping. I know now that I'm looking for something. Looking for a clue as to how they sleep so peacefully. Because I never do.

  4. amen. gosh yes. agreed.
    love your heart as it gushes out in word.
    Mel ;o)

  5. I hear what you are saying. When it's FINALLY quiet and still, I feel the worst. I push and I push and I push.

  6. With you, so very much with you!

  7. I get this. I know this.

    (I needed to read this.)

    Thank you.

  8. I know that feeling...profound.

  9. It is so overwhelming to think about the missed views. So I don't. I try to see more in the moment. I can't look back after all.

  10. You're leaving a legacy of truth and hard work. ♥ you!


  11. Oh my can we NOT be paralyzed indeed. How could I have missed SO many of those moments because I was too busy doing all the "things" I thought I needed to do instead of living in those precious moments that one day, all too soon, I will wish I could relive. So beautiful - you really have a way with words. <3


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