In a few minutes it will be Gray's birthday. He is the child you make a big deal about when it comes to birthdays. We'll celebrate for days but it probably won't be enough.
(It's not like we are trying or anything- no way, quite the contrary. I think I was just looking to the stick to figure out why my clothes fit the way they fit and why I feel the way I feel.) Like skin, and age, and time it had lines
but no real answers.
Our yard. Is happening. Abandoned bikes and overturned skateboards litter the driveway. The kids stand around, "I wanna be Fergie and you are Beyonce, he's Justin." I sit on the front stoop, hidden behind a massive dogwood. "Did you hear about Michelle Obama? She went shopping at a store." Fifth graders talk about Michelle Obama.
I catch Noah's sideways glance. Is it okay that I'm out here? Does he want me to go in? I just don't want to leave Ivy in the front yard unattended. Does he like that I'm near? I don't know. Later he says he's glad everyone wants to come to our yard. And he kissed my shoulder good night.
Ivy blows dandelion puffs and makes a wish, then whispers it in my ear. I wish for a teddy bear whiiisshhh. She has a crush on a sixth grader. Another whisper, mom I touched his arm.
I find Gray in the back with the girl who put stars in his eyes and I see for the first time the sparkle when she looks at him. He shows off his DS skills. She is impressed.