October 6, 2011

Stick Figures

I took a pregnancy test today. It was negative.

In a few minutes it will be Gray's birthday. He is the child you make a big deal about when it comes to birthdays. We'll celebrate for days but it probably won't be enough.

(It's not like we are trying or anything- no way, quite the contrary. I think I was just looking to the stick to figure out why my clothes fit the way they fit and why I feel the way I feel.) Like skin, and age, and time it had lines

but no real answers.


Our yard. Is happening. Abandoned bikes and overturned skateboards litter the driveway. The kids stand around, "I wanna be Fergie and you are Beyonce, he's Justin." I sit on the front stoop, hidden behind a massive dogwood. "Did you hear about Michelle Obama? She went shopping at a store." Fifth graders talk about Michelle Obama.

I catch Noah's sideways glance. Is it okay that I'm out here? Does he want me to go in? I just don't want to leave Ivy in the front yard unattended. Does he like that I'm near? I don't know. Later he says he's glad everyone wants to come to our yard. And he kissed my shoulder good night.

Ivy blows dandelion puffs and makes a wish, then whispers it in my ear. I wish for a teddy bear whiiisshhh. She has a crush on a sixth grader. Another whisper, mom I touched his arm. 

I find Gray in the back with the girl who put stars in his eyes and I see for the first time the sparkle when she looks at him. He shows off his DS skills. She is impressed.

29 comments:

  1. I love the way you dance with language.

    "Like skin, and age, and time it had lines

    but no real answers."

    Zing. Awesome stuff.

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  2. Looks like you have Spring instead of fall in your yard!!

    Hugs from Brazil

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  3. What a beautiful picture of a childhood moment......

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  4. No words...just love how you take in life!

    Jen

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  5. I have chills. this was just so RIGHT. I love it when you start posts with, "I took a pregnancy test today ..."

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  6. Beautiful! And you are such a tease...

    Your neighborhood sounds just like mine. Michelle Obama was just hanging out in with her "sisters" in our Barbie house Tuesday.

    Girl crushes at 3 are great. Bean used to love to tickle the boys she was crushin' on. (Thankfully?) now she finds all boys except her brother and her Dad fairly disgusting.

    You make being a Mama so much more fun for all of us, sweet lady. You have a knack for stopping ME in my tracks and making me re-look. And I love you for that.

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  7. It says alot about you and your parenting when all the kids feel so welcome in your yard. You are the Cool mom. I would rather have all the bunch and know where they are and what they are doing instead of them being at other places, not knowing.

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  8. I remember being each age you just described. The 5th graders talking about the president (or wife), being okay with mom being there, but wondering when she'll finally just go, and having a crush on someone much older than myself, and telling my mom. I loved this post. It's one of my very favorites.

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  9. i read this on my phone this morning, but had to come back to comment! not even sure what to say, except i love the peek into your life. also, i never grew up in a neighborhood or we haven't really desired to live in one, BUT, this makes me want to, because i love the idea of tons of kids coming to my house. :) :) :)

    and by golly, your kids love you. so sweet!

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  10. I took an HPT today too. Mine was also negative, not surprisingly after at least a hundred of the same single line staring back at me. :(

    Great writing. The last few weeks have been extra engaging for me.

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  11. Oh, girl, I have looked to that stick for answers so many times. And love these little "moments" you capture of your kids. It's like reading photographs. Beautiful.

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  12. Of course I love this, why do you ask? ;)

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  13. By far my favorite post! Made me think!

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  14. Our yard used to be like that. We still have lots of kids over, especially for sleep overs. On youth group nights the Chicken has me pick up a van full of kids....its great, I love it.

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  15. It is awesome that your yard is the place to be. As a parent I would love for our home/yard to become the place the kids want to hang out.

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  16. I have this fear of being pregnant and not knowing it, so I take a lot of tests. They're all negative, but I take them anyway. Because, you know ... what if?

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  17. I lovet the simplicity of everything you wrote. It's life, and it's so real! Our lives are a bit alike, I just don't have the talent to get it all down in words the way you do. I pee'd on a stick a couple months ago bc my clothes were tight. We were not trying, we were done. #4 is due in March... Our yard makes us out to be the slobs on the street... Bikes, scooters, helmets, everywhere! And although it's so not like me to let it all linger, I secretly love that my kids take it for granted that they can just leave it all out there, and everything will be ok!

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  18. I love this beautifully put snapshot of these moments, these days.
    Growing up we were never the hang out house. There were always time limits and number limits and location limits by my parents. I want to be that neighborhood house, cause the end of the day I would rather my kids be with me (and their friends) than off somewhere else. Not because I'm worried but because (most of the time) I want them with me.

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  19. I love your stream of consciousness. No excuses, just reality. With your interpretations!
    I. LOVE. IT!

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  20. oh my lord, steph, this one killed me. in such a good way.

    I could use a coffee date with you so badly right now, girl. It's these posts of yours like this.

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  21. um, i wouldn't mind a coffee date with you and elizabeth. just sayin.

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  22. I know how it feels to have that negative test, even if you're "done" having them. I totally understand.

    Our yard is currently "happening." A night time game of tag or something. It's loud. That's all I know...

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  23. so with you. Okay not being pregnant. don't want to be pregnant. But still keeping that door open, somehow, in my heart.

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  24. I follow Zulily on Twitter. robinfitz@charter.net

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  25. I've liked Zulily on Facebook...a long time ago!! robinfitz@charter.net

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  26. I'm following you (babysteph)on Twitter too! robinfitz@charter.net

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  27. I liked your comment on Facebook! robinfitz@charter.net

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  28. :) Love the third paragraph!

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