July 11, 2011

My Hair Was Long And Now It's Short.

long hair There are many moments when the only prayer that I can muster up is Lord, Lord. It covers a lot, it's mostly a "save me!" type of request- rescue me from myself, my decisions, my confusions, my fatigue, my frustration, a do with me what you will because I am a wreck.

I lay in bed the other afternoon and closed my eyes for a minute, just trying to simmer, and the only thing I got out of that meditation was that the dishes needed to be washed and I needed to cut off all my hair.

So I went downstairs and washed the dishes and made an appointment with a complete stranger.

I feel like it should be a kinda big deal but it's not, I really feel- nothing. I don't miss it and I don't not miss it. It's just hair. I don't feel like a new person because I think this has been me all along. I feel like maybe I'm getting back to the old me. That last one wasn't working out. Why did I ever let someone make me feel like I needed to change who I am in order to be used by God?
short hair
I'm stepping slightly forward instead of slumping around in place. I'm going to do things. I am going to make plans. Some might be little and meaningless, like how I want to get a membership to Costco and start having the kids do chores. Some might be bigger so big that I am still too afraid to speak outloud or even whisper. And I now recognize that fear and allow it instead of tuck it away willing it to not exist. This right now is an awesome prequel to something even greater. Writing it here will not make it happen. I must remember this.

38 comments:

  1. Well you may not feel like a new person but whoo honey you are certainly a lovely person.
    Although you always have been, so, now you're just as wonderful with less split ends. :)

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  2. Your new look is fabulous!

    You are already doing great things and I know you will continue!

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  3. You know, the photo you have on twitter, yesterday I had thought to myself, "I wonder if she cut her hair?"

    I love, love, LOVE this haircut on you. It seems sassy and strong. Can't wait to see how you rock it!

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  4. It is funny how something seemingly minor can be a signal for something much more. On the superficial side, you look absolutely fabulous!

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  5. This is so inspiring to me right now. Even though my pregnant, exhausted mind can't exactly articulate why. So I'll just say thanks. And that I love your new hair.

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  6. You look absolutely stunning, Steph. It just so happens I'm going to do something with my hair on Wednesday. I hope it turns out as well as yours.

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  7. You know I love it! You look fabulous!

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  8. You know I love it! You look fabulous!

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  9. so inspiring. There is greatness in the small and the big, if they both bring Glory to God. I can't wait to see what He is doing in your life.

    Cute haircut. :-)

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  10. you are one of the few people that i can honestly read something like this and say, "pffff, she can SO do this." you look ah-mazing. xo

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  11. Love the hair cut. Love the {authentic} commentary even more.

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  12. You look beautiful, Steph.

    Plans are so good, no matter how big or small. I need to do more planning...

    Bri

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  13. I love your new hair. In fact, I would love more pictures because i am in dire need of cutting my locks as well.
    You are just perfection, don't let anyone try to convince you otherwise.

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  14. I kind of wish I had the courage to do this right now. Starting over fresh with short hair is an amazing feeling.

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  15. Marvelous...told ya you had to blog it...too good not to. And I have felt a mincing uncertainty in you that DOES NOT MATCH what you do...perhaps it is gone with the hair.....you are a fascinating woman.

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  16. I understand you completely. I feel the same..something big and very fearful is starting to happening and at the same time it is exciting!

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  17. I love this, beautiful girl. Two months ago, I wrote something about long hair and how weirdly defining it was to me. Even though it seems silly, hair is kind of a way we present ourselves. You can get too comfortable with a style and get too comfortable with LIFE and pushing yourself to change either is a big deal.

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  18. you are so lovely, loving this post today!

    Much love
    Renee

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  19. You are absolutely beautiful inside & out (no matter your hairstyle) but I must say I LOVE the new cut!

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  20. I think...

    that God makes some of us go through things (like others making us believe things that aren't true) to make us more confident in His plan for us.

    At least that's been my experience with life. People telling me I can't be a writer, can't be an artist, can't (whatever.) And each time God said, "Oh yes you can. Hold on."

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  21. i'm going to do things.

    this statement reminds us all. to remember.

    and that action is necessary.

    but intent is first :-)

    ps love the new do

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  22. Wow, you look so sassy and pretty! How fun! Have you read Max Lucado's Fearless? It was a big help for me and really helped minimize the fears/anxieties in my life. I pray God uses you in all the big and small tugs he's placed on your heart.

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  23. WOW...your hair is gorgeous! You can definitely pull off short hair. It was so long before you cut, that is so brave. I love how the short hair looks on you!

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  24. That's a great hairstyle and looks really super on you. I didn't realize your hair was so long. I can remember back in the 70's when my hair was so long that when I tied it back to brush my teeth it or wash my face still fell forward and got in the way. It was so thick and heavy it took forever to dry. Just think of the money you'll save by not having to use so much shampoo. If you ever miss all that hair, don't worry you can just grow it all back. Your hair wasn't really long 2 years ago and must really grow fast. Hmm you must be related to me. I have to get my hair cut every 6 weeks or get a dog license.

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  25. You may not feel like a new person, but you certainly look like one. When I saw your picture on Facebook, I actually had to get my glasses to be sure it was you. You look amazing.

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  26. simply inspiring. in so many ways.

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  27. i applaud you!

    forward steps (even slight ones) are something to celebrate.

    preferably while sporting hot hair.

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  28. Love changing things up in regards to myself and for some reason my hair is one of the ways I do that. You look great with long hair and you look great with short hair, but hair is hair and it's grows back. Steph just be who you are...God made you this way for reason and you need to shine for him!

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  29. Isn't it interesting that for women, a change in hair style is a signifier of change. A new cut brings a new perspective.
    Anyway...you're gorgeous. Inside and out.

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  30. love this post! and short hair suits you so much! beautiful

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  31. Good for you!I sure you feel light as a feather...don't float away too far!
    Nathalie

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  32. mmmm, so pretty. and i feel the same way about my hair, maybe because it grows so fast or maybe because it's never been one length for very long. i grow it and then i cut it. and always by how i FEEL. ha. why must everything be by how i FEEL. i know you know what i mean. anyway. it's lovely.

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  33. I can't exactly tell, but I'm pretty sure your new haircut is awesome. :)

    Also - I relate to this post. On so many levels.

    P.S. I want a Costco membership too - have you tried the dried mangos there? Amazing!

    stephanie@metropolitanmama.net

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  34. Love it! A new haircut is so empowering - it's a little bit of life change that you can actually control!

    Sarah

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