May 22, 2011

unplanned

all eight
More of the cousins. Every one of these children was very planned.

It's like everyone in our house had PMS today. I hate when this happens- so often on Sunday mornings as we mosey around like bums until we have to rush and get ready for church. Then we're all grumpy in the car, but somehow all smiles as we enter the church building...

Nothing about today has gone as planned.

Even our appliances are grouchy; the TV broke and the garbage disposal clogged. To say I am irritated is quite the understatement. So I made other plans and now even those are ix-nayed by the weather.

A big storm is coming. And I don't mean that figuratively - a real storm is actually rolling in with dark clouds and thunder and sea-sick skies. This might be my favorite part of this day.

I took Ivy upstairs for a nap and fell asleep with her. Then I woke myself up with my own snoring.

This morning she hugged me close and said she didn't really want nah nap anymore. Like it was mostly her idea all along or something. It's been a few weeks now since we stopped breastfeeding and slowly she's quit mentioning it. Already I'm starting to feel more like myself with more energy and a few lbs lost. (I'm the exception to the rule that breastfeeding makes you lose weight. It always makes me pack it on like I'm getting ready to hibernate, but that's ok. It's totally worth it to me.)

And now I can enjoy this time of not-nursing and not-being-pregnant and see the real me showing up again. Sometimes it's not all pleasant discoveries, you know. I have a lot to work on. At least I have a lot to work with.

I didn't plan most of this, what has become of my life. Not to suggest that any of it is mostly bad- it's quite good, oh it is. But if I didn't know better, (?) I'd think perfect plans are for sissies. It's the people that can take what you get and make it beautiful for that moment, even if it's less than especially if it's less than and be truly thankful and care for it as if it's what they've always wanted. They are strong, they are the artists, they are my heroes. I can only imagine what their Sunday mornings are like.

The storm is here. It's frightening and amazing.

27 comments:

  1. oh yes...totally get it...and that paragraph is awesome. :)

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  2. SMILING at you. What a good writing snapshot of a Sunday full of family life good & less than. Love it.

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  3. If I've learned anything this past week...it's that plans, well...our plans are never what God intended.

    Plans are for sissies....I'm just working on being less of a sissy. :)

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  4. Yes. This. Has pretty much been my year.

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  5. Glad to hear I'm not the only one. Who doesn't lose weight when breastfeeding. :)

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  6. I quoted you on facebook and linked to your blog. I hope that's ok. That last paragraph is exactly what I needed to hear right now. That it's ok to not have a plan because plans rarely work out the way you think they will and that life is all about living it and being happy in it. Not the planning for perfection. Thank you.

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  7. Never lose weight when I'm nursing... I have been nursing straight for fourteen years, one kid after the other - hopefully when all my nurslings finally quit I am going to lose a ton of accumulated weight!!! I will just have to wait and see!!! We are having a wild storm over here too: lightning over the ocean on a hot sulky night.

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  8. My mom and I just had a conversation about "plans" the other day and it reminds me of your post. Or your post reminds me of that conversation. :) She said something like, "We can do all the planning we want, but God has a plan for us. And His plans are so much better than ours." I believe that is true.

    Also....I really love this line "At least I have a lot to work with." I think it's a better version of "what you have to work on." Anyway, Steph, your posts are beautiful and thought provoking. Thank you.

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  9. i'm not sure even what to say, except YES. agree with all of it? :) totally get the sunday morning thing, lounge lounge lounge, omgosh, we have to leave in five minutes and only half of us is dress. haha. i used to be a very type A, plan everything out, but (especially) when baby #2 came, i have really let go. and i like it. i wonder how i'm going to be when/if baby #3 and 4 come. ;)

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  10. oh, so it's not just us then on sunday mornings? how about when you walk into church all smiles and then have to teach sunday school or something? that's awesome after a morning of chaos.

    i'm playing with plans this summer, trying to accommodate my schedule-loving child. I'm needing this reminder to just find and make beauty while we are IN IT.

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  11. Hi there, no pithy comments about this post in particular, I just realized it had been awhile since I'd swung by here and thought I'd take a peek and see what is up with your family. Ivy is SO BIG! Congrats on the show and on weaning. I am personally simultaneously longing for and dreading that day.

    Take care!

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  12. Great post for a day when I felt like crying in my room for half of it and trying to be a good mommy for the other half. It's really hard some of the time. I totally get your post.

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  13. I enjoyed reading about how you don't loose weight well while you're nursing. I'm the exact same way. People say "nurse and you'll loose weight". Ha! Not for me! I've been either pregnant or nursing for over 3 years straight and I'm looking forward to the day when it's "just me" although, that won't be anytime soon.

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  14. As I grow and live and get tiny little glimpses of the bigger picture {in the most capital of ways}, I realized more and more that my plans are not always His plans. And what comes to fruition when I've followed His plans is so much better than I could have even dreamed for my own plans.
    {I'm like you -- it's SO hard to shed pounds while nursing. Finally, though, it's starting to happen. It stinks to feel uncomfortable in your own skin, speaking from experience.}
    Beautiful, beautiful post, Steph.

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  15. I hate it when the weekends don't live up to what they should, when we look forward to what comes so much that it just falls flat when it doesn't live up to our dreams. Which is why you're right, perfect plans are for sissies--letting life play its way out is much better.

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  16. I'm the same about breastfeeding and not loosing weight!!!! Glad to now am not alone in this :-)

    oh and I love what you said
    "The storm is here. It's frightening and amazing. "

    It's a amazing picture... life is like that isn't it!!

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  17. Your post totally reminded me of a song lyric I have always LOVED, "And it came to me then that every plan is a tiny prayer to father time..." It's a Death Cab for Cutie song, leftover from those days when I wore a younger gal's clothes :)Anyways, yep.

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  18. love how you've weaved the bits about the storm through this, steph.

    and I also prep for hibernation while nursing. still holding on to a few extra layers/lbs and then when I wean, they drop. hoping it will work that way the 3rd time around...

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  19. Remember that to make God laugh, tell God your plans. So if you see many changes in your plans think of God having a good chuckle as you remember whose plans you may be living.

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  20. I was totally one of those people who were not the norm breast-feeding too. My body wanted to pack on the pounds! But all for a good thing. :)

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  21. I plan. God laughs!

    I don't lose weight when nursing either! I think it's because I eat more. But like you said, it's totally worth it!

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  22. so true. what's that saying? something about God laughing when people make "plans"? I don't know exactly.

    I do love it when a plan comes together.
    I am sometimes too inflexible when things don't go according to the silly little plans I had in my head.
    But I also love having no plans, and I love what can sometimes happen when you just let life come to you, instead of trying to plan out every minute.

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  23. thanks for this- I needed good words about perfect plans being for sissies. (also, I love that your kids have so many cousins just their age- happiness!)

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  24. Stephanie! Great Post! It reminded me of a post I wrote a few weeks ago about people asking me if my pregnancy was planned and how annoying (and rude!) that question is. Here is the link if you want to read it:

    http://www.mamanash.com/2011/04/planned-pregnancies.html

    Blessings to you and your family.

    jenny@mamanash.com

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  25. I needed to here this today so badly: "I have a lot to work on. At least I have a lot to work with."

    So badly I blogged about it in fact. Thanks.

    http://bit.ly/iB6B5n

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  26. This is beautiful. Life is messy, and it is all about how we deal with it. I love the "perfect plans are for sissies," that one will be quoted often.

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  27. Aren't cousins great? My girls have been missing theirs quite a bit.

    Also - thunderstorms can be very soothing for the soul. Not sure why...but it's true.

    stephanie@metropolitanmama.net

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