In the past week I stopped breastfeeding, for good. I left the kids the longest they've ever been away from both me and Jeff- for three whole nights! and four long days!- and I lived to tell about it. And so did they. I am directing/producing a one-night show that debuts tomorrow.
No wonder I am up at two in the morning with a body like jelly.
The only thing I know for sure is what I'm wearing for Listen To Your Mother. Nothing else is sticking right now and that's ok. This must be survival mode. Maybe we can all talk when it's over and this will all make so much more sense.
A quick run-down of my thoughts on Vegas? I never gambled once, not even a slot machine! I just never got the itch. I kinda wish I'd played roulette one time, you know, with my good luck lately. The food was amazing. See also: we never ate at a single buffet. Cigarette smoke. Weird coughing guy in the room next to us. (Probably from all the cigarettes.) Hotels are like university campuses there. Go visit them all. Especially the Cosmopolitan. Especially if you like Mad Men. Especially if you like smoke-free. Real Paris is a gazillion times better than Las Vegas Paris but any Paris is better than no Paris. Short skirts. I did not conform, but I did show my legs knee-down one day with no leggings. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas!
With the close of nursing Ivy- a whole two years and eight months- I realize she has moved on much faster than I can catch up. She is Big Girl Now, and as I type I am having my first real cry about it. Just like that, anything baby about her is gone gone gone and all those photos? Memories? Don't feel like enough. This door closes on more than breastfeeding. It's babies. And I've heard a big slam. For good. And I can't stop crying.