Here I am, enjoying the silence. Still feeling a whole lot of feelings but not really moved to write them down. I'd rather just let them be.
Or it could be because my ears are so stuffed up. I'm sick. Noah was sick last week (and he hasn't been sick in years) (he had a fever, I was on edge) (and one after the other we all got sick.) I am still miserable so I'm finally giving in and am off to urgent care as soon as hubs gets home.
I feel relieved. For the longest time I think I confused that with defeat.