I think I have all the buttons in my button tin memorized and then I'll knit something and need a button and I'll find one I hadn't seen before. They look different each time. Nice to meet you again. Random buttons.
Unless it's smacking me in the face, like when Noah was sick, I sometimes forget to pray for things. Like, I pray, but usually it's for someone that is hurting, or for health, or as things come up, or a wide covering prayer, not too specific. I am still trying to understand the way He provides because there are so many blessings that come into our life, like Jeff's new promotion (by the way, he got a promotion! And was named Manager Of The Year!)
and some other things that are really frivolous but definitely not un-noticed by me. I wonder, if these prayers said quietly in my heart but not out loud are still answered, what could happen if I am actually on my knees?
Not that it works that way, like a God-vending machine. Prayers go in and and I get what I want. Not at all.
But I know He hears me anyway.
How often I feel like maybe I have everything I really need, so anything extra would be... asking for too much? Who am I to ask for anything? My God, I lie next to my child and think, I didn't ask for my child to breathe today yet she has breath. Thank you. I'm so thankful.
What more could I ask for?
And then I close my eyes and really think about it and outside of my head I see that maybe I need to stop thinking it's up to me. What if what's happening to us is in response to someone else's prayer
someone else on their knees, on my behalf?
It's so big.
Life turns and I spin
and I roll with it
and I want to land where He wants me to be.
Which is probably on my knees.