December 19, 2010

Sometimes I forget to pray for things

carter & ivy's sip

I think I have all the buttons in my button tin memorized and then I'll knit something and need a button and I'll find one I hadn't seen before. They look different each time. Nice to meet you again. Random buttons.

But not.

Unless it's smacking me in the face, like when Noah was sick, I sometimes forget to pray for things. Like, I pray, but usually it's for someone that is hurting, or for health, or as things come up, or a wide covering prayer, not too specific. I am still trying to understand the way He provides because there are so many blessings that come into our life, like Jeff's new promotion (by the way, he got a promotion! And was named Manager Of The Year!)

and some other things that are really frivolous but definitely not un-noticed by me. I wonder, if these prayers said quietly in my heart but not out loud are still answered, what could happen if I am actually on my knees?


Not that it works that way, like a God-vending machine. Prayers go in and and I get what I want. Not at all.

But I know He hears me anyway.

How often I feel like maybe I have everything I really need, so anything extra would be... asking for too much? Who am I to ask for anything? My God, I lie next to my child and think, I didn't ask for my child to breathe today yet she has breath. Thank you. I'm so thankful.

What more could I ask for?

And then I close my eyes and really think about it and outside of my head I see that maybe I need to stop thinking it's up to me. What if what's happening to us is in response to someone else's prayer

someone else on their knees, on my behalf?

It's so big.

Life turns and I spin

and I roll with it

and I want to land where He wants me to be.


Which is probably on my knees.



41 comments:

  1. This is perfect. It brought me to tears....exactly what's in my heart now...

    Thank you.

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  2. I have been pondering almost this very thing, what if I actually got on my knees...or what if I actually took the initiative to pray with my husband out loud. We are close and I keep thinking what if...I am reviewing a couples devotional that I just received and he said he would do it with me...cannot effectively reveiw a couples devotional if it is not done as a couple.

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  3. Really beautiful, Steph. And oh, so true.

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  4. Last year we had a visiting priest (here in Baltimore they tend to rotate a lot) who was a beautiful French speaking islander. I will remember something he said for the rest of my life: Whenever you think, you're praying. Your letting God know what's going on in your life, what you are worried about, what you are joyful about. Don't feel like you have to pray formally or a certain way.

    Made a lot of sense to me. I tend to sent up quick prayers throughout the day, silently.

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  5. i'll have to send you a link to the sermon we heard tonight. it was a.maz.ing. this post is also. thank you, steph.

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  6. Steph, I totally get this because this is totally me as well. I have thought about it many times...how God answers things I've yet to ask for.

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  7. Wow, I couldn't have written this post myself.

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  8. I totally understand your thought pattern on this. Does it matter? Is it me? Someone else? Is it too little, too frivolous? But really, He cares...about it all. He loves us. I love praying for the big things, but for the mundane too, because HE is in the little things!


    P.S. I often pray for parking spots...and he delivers SO SO SO often!! It's the simple things too!

    www.theopinionatedmama.com

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  9. I remember a woman bringing up in a Bible study along time ago that our spirits or the holy spirit in us, is constantly worshiping. This just reminded me of that, He's got it all covered and it's the communication that keeps us focused on Him in the little and big.

    Love this though, as always, fantastic way with words, Steph!

    Heidi

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  10. "he got a promotion! And was named Manager Of The Year!" Woo hoo! Congrats!

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  11. Life is hard in our house right now. Lots of stress, and trying to learn to deal with it. To get through it. To make the decisions that need to be made...

    I've prayed- mostly, the quietly in my heart prayers, because I'm scared to say what's wrong outloud. I don't want to admit it.

    On my knees. What would happen if I got down on my knees?

    I needed this.
    I always need this.
    Finding time to be on my knees today.

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  12. Love this post. Makes me think of the song by Jaci Velaszuez, "On my knees".

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  13. Thanks for the REMINDER!
    Aunt Diane

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  14. What a great thing to think about. I've definitely been thinking about this a lot more lately with some things that have been happening in my life - and reading this is just a great reminder of where I need to be. Thanks! :)

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  15. I used to live a cycle of guilt and going quiet. Because I'd feel bad for the way I don't formally pray and then I'd be kind of afraid to talk to God, like I'd "ignored" Him too long or something and He was probably mad. I don't know...that's going away and I think God is glad. I think it's possible He's so beyond our ideas of what prayer is, that maybe there's no doing it "right."

    Maybe it has something to do with this surrender thing I'm trying to learn. I don't really pray for results anymore...for things the way that I want them to turn out. It's not that I think He won't listen, I just want to pray with my life that I would be strengthened enough to find contentment and grace in every answer, in every result, not just the ones that I desire.
    So I walk around trying to make that the desire of my heart and it makes me feel like I'm always praying. Just accepting a will other than mine and knowing it's much better in the long run, no matter what.
    These are things you know, I'm just thinking out loud with you. Which is praying.
    :)

    xo

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  16. awe yes, so much truth and awesome to this post.

    I often struggle about "mass praying". Like, for instance, when I get an email from someone, asking me to pray for someone I may or may not know. Not that I mind this by ANY means.

    Here is my GOD confusion: I truly believe that God will answer prayer regardless, whether 1 or 1,000,000 people are praying the same thing.

    I don't see him sitting there in heaven, thinking, well if they can get 4 more people to pray for this request, I'll consider it.

    Don't you think? Oy.

    Oh my, I've run off with my thoughts again. Sorry. Great post, my friend.

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  17. He's so pleased with your heart. Right now, on your knees or not. All we can do is respond to His amazing love for us. He'll show us who and what to pray for when we learn to totally *rest* in Him. I'm stll learning...but I know it's not about me doing more or doing prayer better.

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  18. In my AA meetings, they say to get down on your knees and lift the palms of your hands up to your HP and pray. I thought this was silly at first, since I "talk" and "pray" to God all throughout my day. But they were right. Getting down on my knees brought tears to my eyes and I was amazed at how much clutter I let go from my brain as I talked to Him.

    Loved this post. Thank you.

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  19. yes. prayer, in itself, is a mystery, i think. but like you, i need to do it more. it's amazing how God answers the prayers we haven't said, how he gives our children and families life and health. it IS amazing to think of who we would be if we talked to God more and quieted our hearts enough for him to talk to us. thanks for sharing your thoughts!

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  20. Thank you Steph, as always. This is simply beautiful, I wish my head would string together words as you do. Your thoughts take my heart on such a lovely ride each time. <3 LOVE.

    P.S. Sidnie Im sending you a prayer from my heart for strength, and finding time.

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  21. That really touched me. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. There are a lot of others that think the same things. Sometimes I wonder if I'm too vague with my prayers, but He knows. He knows what's really in your heart.

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  22. Great insight! I think we all need to stop and thank God for the little things. It's all so easy to take for granted, especially with our busy lives. Thanks, I needed this today. :D

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  23. Second post on prayer I've read in the last 30 minutes (Designhermomma's being the other one). Perhaps Someone is trying to tell me something?

    This was beautiful, by the way.

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  24. I have often wondered who am I to ask for anything. When we were in process for Little Sister I remember thinking that I did not know what to pray for. Or how to ask for what I wanted. I mean I trusted completely that she would be brought home to us in His timing. That He was taking care of her and us. But I wanted her NOW. So, how did I ask for her to come home and beg and plead that she be okay when I knew she was getting sick? If I trust in Him to take care of all of us how do I ask for what I want? I still don't know. It weighs on me often that I do not know the answer. When it is someone else's wants and needs I find it easy to pray for what they have asked me to but for myself I find myself stuck between what I want and my need to trust.

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  25. Wow your post plus Heather EO's comment = 1 2 prayer punch.

    The good kind, with Hawaiian punch and pinapple juice and sherbet and 7up.

    xo

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  26. I'm recently hear a sermon on prayer and I taught that it was taught provoking!!!!

    "If you little one only ask you for stuff, and never say I love you, how would you feel?

    If you children take something from you, over and over again and never talk to you, how would you feel?

    When you give gifts after gift to them and they fail to say thank you, how do you fell?

    Now Think how God feel when he give you life, bless you and you are failing to talk to him, praising Him, thanking Him?"

    Sorry I can't remember when I hear this

    Phil 4:6-7

    Renee

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  27. I feel like this all the time. Especially now, when we have so much, who am i to ask for more?

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  28. Such a beautiful, honest post. I've been there and I wander in and out of those thoughts sometimes. About a year ago, God kind of did a flip in my thinking when he gave me the epiphany that even if my prayer changes nothing else circumstance wise, it DOES change my heart. And that's what I firmly believe He wants me to focus on -- the being rather than the doing, the who I am rather than what my hands/brain do. The refining of the person through prayer is such an intricate process, and I'm constantly amazed at how prayer works in our lives. So glad I popped over to ponder some more today.

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  29. LOVE the last line. My father always prays at the edge of his bed, on his knees. Still, to this day, at 78 years old.

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  30. Congrats to your husband! He obviously does his job well.

    (I need to pray more too).

    stephanie@metropolitanmama.net

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  31. Beautiful. I find it hard to pray sometimes because I feel like I have so much. What a nice thought, though, to think that someone is on their knees for me. Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. Thanks! :)

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  32. i've never commented before but just have to on this. you know how sometimes you "happen" upon something you "needed" at that exact moment? for me..today..this was it. so thank you.

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  33. I think we all make that mistake. I remember when I was younger, I was a lot more devoted to my religion. I would pray every night. As I reached my teens and early 20's, I got away from faith. Now as I get older, I've become more acquainted with my faith and I find myself praying a lot more frequently...

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  34. This was such a beautiful reminder. Thank you!

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  35. this is a good word.

    thanks for stimulating some though this fine Christmas eve morning.

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  36. Thank you for posting this.

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  37. Lovely, lovely, lovely, lovely. I have enjoyed your free writing and this is beautiful.

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