November 13, 2010

the space between

ponyAlign Center

I was gone most of the day here and there- took Noah to the library, yarn shop (new needles!), and the old world market (cheese! Manchego & Parrano) and then off to sit with a friend while she got a new tattoo.


I wasn't gone that long. But in Ivy-time, it was forever. And I found out she had hugged a photo of me and sobbed. I am not even kidding. I wish I was kidding.

I am going to be away from her for two nights next weekend. I love her more than probably possible but I need to leave sometimes. Mommy has to go places, too, I told her as she pressed into my breast and grasped tightly to my neck.

My heart, as I write this, is not breaking in two. My heart, as I am writing this, feels like it's time for a little space.

I have no idea how my heart will feel next weekend. We will see.

puppy dog eyes

Because, just look at that face.



28 comments:

  1. Awww for Ivy and awww for Mommy. Ivy is soo sweet and you're such a good Mommy. I love reading all your posts. I'm sure she'll miss you but Mommy needs a little break sometimes. :)

    Eunice Lai

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm sitting here getting ready to leave for the whole day for a writing workshop (it's 9-4, eeeeeekkkk!!) and my heart is breaking thinking about not being here all day. But the space is good. And coming home makes it worth it :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. The space is nice. I remember the first time I left The Chicken for a weekend retreat with the ladies at church(she was about the same age Ivy is now) . She cried a lot when I was gone and hubby said she talked to the pictures of me on the wall, but when I got back the hugs were that much bigger and the snuggles were that much snugglier and my heart was happy because I had some much needed time for recharge.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I may be old school, but I think time away makes you a better mommy when you have time to recharge and do big girl things alone. Enjoy your weekend! Ivy will be fine.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I understand the need to leave sometimes - it would be nice if they did, too.

    ReplyDelete
  6. HEart-melt-worthy for sure! Sometimes we all need a break...even when it hurts...

    ReplyDelete
  7. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Thank you so much for the sweet note via Julie for the diaper cake. It made my hormonal pregnant self cry :-) The cake was actually tied with a blanket (made by my best friend from high school) for my favorite gifts at the shower, so I'm so glad that Julie didn't listen to me when I said I didn't want a diaper cake. Julie knows me better then myself apparently. :-D

    ReplyDelete
  9. OK, I have no idea how this would feel for a mom, but as the KID who would not let my mom out of my sight for a SECOND, I can tell you that we survive. :-)

    And, just FYI, I totally still talk to my mom every day. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  10. I so get this... I have yet to be away from the girls. Even for a few hours. Eeek! I am ready for a little space but not sure when that will happen. :)

    hugging your picture... oh my...j

    britt

    ReplyDelete
  11. Yeah. I hear you. We had some similar issues with LB last year. Things are fine now. We both survived. I had both the space-needing and heart-breaking moments, separately and somehow together as well.

    Wishing you all the best.

    ReplyDelete
  12. precious. and i totally understand!

    ReplyDelete
  13. it isn't easy to leave but i think when your gut has told you it is ok to plan the trip you need to hold onto that maternal knowing.

    the space between is such a balancing act. but if we aren't vibrating with the right energy we are not only harming ourselves but also the children who we are shaping.

    if that language makes sense to you.

    you are one of my hero's.

    -r

    ReplyDelete
  14. Good for you for getting away! We just got back from a family vacation, and as much as I LOVE my family, there were times when I thought how awesome it would be to be sitting on the beach in the Bahamas BY MYSELF. Where I didn't have to keep an eye on the kids, or think about everyone else having fun. Two days away for a refresh sounds just about right to me!

    ReplyDelete
  15. yep, yep, yep. It is so great when we know we can leave our kiddos and that they (and we) will be ok.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I am planning to be away from my own 2-year-old for one night next May. As in 6 months from now. I am both joyfully anticipating it, and totally terrified.

    I hope that your weekend is marvelous. :)

    ReplyDelete
  17. Yes.

    She is so so beautiful. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  18. awww....you know when it's time.

    Have fun! I'm so bummed to miss it because of chitag. I'm even more bummed because some of my fave blogger friends (like you!) will be there. Have fun!

    ReplyDelete
  19. So, so cute. But I also understand what you mean, it can be exhausting to be loved that much all the time. A break is good for everyone.

    ReplyDelete
  20. I so feel your pain I too have a very attached 2 year old that seems to always have one favorite person which is all well and good and makes me feel so special but it also makes others feel not as loved. I have left her some but never over night or longer than 6 hours. I will be facinated to see how Ivy does!
    I know how important personal time is so enjoy yourself and dont feel guilty you need you time to feel sane!
    Especially with 4 kids!

    ReplyDelete
  21. Trust your gut. It's done you right so far. Good luck, friend.

    ReplyDelete
  22. It's such a pull and push on the heart to be absent from them. But I agree, it IS needed.

    ReplyDelete
  23. my dd is 3 and 1/2 now. and i still havent got the courage to leave her, not even for one night. i am full time working mom, so far ive succeeded very well in avoiding outstation. i wish i got the courage to leave her. i totally agree wif the fact sometimes mommies need to have their spaces and time also.love your writing!

    ReplyDelete
  24. Lots of love & best wishes for the weekend -- she will be fine and you will be fine <3 I have faith!

    ReplyDelete
  25. Lovely photographs (so artistic).

    Where are you off to?

    stephanie@metropolitanmama.net

    ReplyDelete

Your comment is gonna totally make my day!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...