November 22, 2010

shimmy shimmy

rebel reclaimed masked busts

I never return our things to the library on time, but I always pay my fines.

I could have gone one more day without coming home this past weekend.

rebel reclaimed chalkboard

I nursed Ivy almost immediately when I returned, but only because she asked.

I kinda alot want to be done nursing, and (selfishly? rightly so?) I want to get my body back in order.

rebel reclaimed shroom

I feel quite peaceful about Thanksgiving this year. It used to be my "trigger" day and I've written about those times here. I am happy to say that I'm so much better this year.

rebel reclaimed nook

I want to be a tiny mouse and live in this store. [Rebel Reclaimed, Grand Rapids, MI]

I am listening to Calypso music right now. It makes me shimmy my shoulders. And makes me happy in the moment.

It's a CD I got from the library. And it's probably already overdue.


  1. i totally have 40 library books that i've already re-checked out online 3 times for the kids. i'm still trying to figure out how i'm going to carry all of them and the kids since Charles has been working long hours and the library has massive stairs.

    i'd like my body back via stop nursing too...he's only 8 months...i gotta ways to go :)

  2. this made me smile. especially that last line.

    (you really are a kindred spirit, steph.)

  3. Wow that look like a interesting store!!!!

  4. i must go to this store. soon.

    i need that oval aqua frame w/ red flower.

    [the word need used very loosely, of course.]

  5. I'm glad you had such a great time! I am, however, very embarrassed that I did not know this store existed! Must go tomorrow!

  6. Happy Thanksgiving Steph. I always enjoy reading your writing. I am glad I read your post tonight. We are traveling from MA to NJ tomorrow to spend it with my mother and her side of the family. I've been tense about it all week. Long drive, family drama, yada, yada, yada... but I love my two girls and husband more than I can say and they'll be with me each step of the way.

    Your post made me realize that things will be OK when I am around my loves, which I will be.

    May you and yours have a blessed and cozy Thanksgiving!

  7. Library fines, alas. I have no head for dates, and they don't stamp the date in the cover here, they print you a receipt. How am I supposed to keep track of something like that??

  8. I kinda sorta not really but maybe feel the same about nursing some days. Mine is 28 months and nurses anywhere from 3 to a million times a day.

    But then she gets sick. Or hurt. Or shy. Or overwhelmed. And I feel relieved and guilty all at once.

    Sometimes I wish I could know what's coming next.

    (I owe my library a lot of money. I am too embarrassed to find out how much, but really need to go pay it because my LO really wants to watch a particular Signing Time video again!)

  9. Oh, I used to be SO good about returning the library books on time. Our library even e-mails me when I have books coming due. And yet, I manage to rack up fines. Fortunately, the fines at our library are miniscule. My last fine was extravagant at $1.00.

    Calypso music = awesomeness. And it's calypso, baby. That's like the complete opposite of hurry up and overdue!

    Also: so glad you feel so much better this year.

    Also: in the same boat as you re. nursing. But sometimes it's totally fine. But sometimes I'm so fed up. I bet she's one who'd be happy to continue until age 7. But I'm thinking maybe I'll wait until March, when she reaches the same age Jade was when IT happened.

  10. I am stressing about Thanksgiving this year and unsure why. Maybe it is because I spent last year by myself and it was amazing. I missed my boys but 72 hours of alone time in my own home was so nice. I would love to find a store like that around here.

  11. I have listened to lots of music but I can honestly say I don't think that i have ever intentionally listened to Calypso music. Must remedy that now because I truly think it will bring a smile to my face.

  12. It is a miracle when I turn my library stuff in on time. They could probably name a branch after us. And it is really sad, because we can renew online and I get email reminders and the library is literally across the street from the neighborhood. I just consider my fines my way of making sure the library is well-funded.

  13. Ha! I've actually stopped going to the library with my boys because I have problems keeping everything from getting lost and then getting it back on time. I'm sure that'll change now that the weather's cold, but still... :)

  14. I'd be fine if we could just stop the all night long marathon nursing sessions. Yes, we are both asleep through most of it, but I'm pretty over it.

    I've been renewing a book since before Halloween. It's called "The Thing That Scared me" or something like that. Know what scares me? I have NO CLUE where it is.

  15. I'm not even sure anyone will let me in the library anymore. The fine has grown to immense proportions. Sigh.

    Right there with you on the nursing--I was hoping this weekend might be the beginning of the end, but instead it appears to have been just a brief break.

  16. looks like a fun store. Glad you are looking forward to Thanksgiving. We do have so much to be thankful for.

  17. The librarians put up with so much from me. I try, really I do. I just can't seem to get things back there in time. Time gets away from me. Thank goodness we live in a small town, and the librarians know us so well. They are very forgiving! :)
    You are not selfish for contemplating not nursing now. You have given your all and then some. She may decide to just stop as well. Ms. Dimples (19 mo) stopped nursing several months ago. I was more than willing for her to keep going. She chose not to. This is our last pregnancy and last baby. I wonder if I will nurse for even longer knowing he is my last. Hmmmmm.

  18. I'm so glad you had a wonderful time! And remember, you can't be the best momma you want to be if you are feeling used and not happy with yourself!

  19. I'm curious. Do you feel extra bittersweet, considering that Ivy will probably be the last little one you nurse (from what I've gathered on your blog)...or are you ready for a new chapter?

  20. It makes my heart sing with hope to know that Thanksgiving isn't scary for you anymore.

  21. I remember that feeling around nursing. It is a bittersweet time. I have another one coming now, that will likely be our last and so am looking forward to that but I confess that there is also a part of me looking forward to the part of parenting that is not so physically demanding/taxing as these early years are. You aren't alone in that.


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