September 10, 2010

I'm leaving now.

2apples


You know, most days I feel like I'm broken beyond fixing, like, I'm really no good at this - whatever 'this' is - (in my head it's: life/family/friends/worship/repeat)


1apples

But then I catch a sun sparkle on top of the trees as I drive a wind-ey road

or I hear my children laugh true laughter

or I feel good for no reason at all

instead of feeling bad for no reason at all


or like when Gray, riding on the end of the grocery cart (like you're not supposed to do) and snacking on a treat from the deli lady, smiles and says with feeling! "Ah, this is the life."

3apples

Those moments I feel like I just might be doing okay.

Well, really more than okay.

I'm working on shedding old skin, rough and tough stuff, rebellion that protects the breakable inside. I'm working on it, like, all the time now.


4apples

I'm not even close, but I'm, let's just say, I'm on my way.

(For me that pretty often means I haven't left the house yet

BUT I will be very soon.)



27 comments:

  1. You are such an inspiration. Truly.

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  2. Today was a perfect day for the orchard and visiting the big red barn. It was the perfect day for making memories.

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  3. These pictures are so precious, and remind me of the kind I like to take. :-)

    I think, to some extent, all of us are kind of "on the way" in some area or another.

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  4. I hear you... loud and clear...
    Happy weekend Steph :)

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  5. Ah ... this IS the life, indeed.

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  6. we're all on our way. it's the adventure, right? it's about the journey.

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  7. We will always be "on the way" and "almost there." I hope I never reach a point of "Okay, I'm here, now what?" And yes, this certainly is the life.

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  8. It was SO good to see you today! It was a beautiful day to be at the orchard. Did you eat donuts? I wish I had more time to talk, but did you SEE all my students (and their parents?!?) And I do that to myself every year. I'm nuts. It all went well, and we didn't lose anybody, and no one got stung by a bee. It was a good day! Made much better just because I got to see your beautiful face in person :)

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  9. Gosh, I'm so in this place too. Glad I have company in this "pruning" process. Beautiful photos.

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  10. I LOVE Ivy's dress, just looking at it makes me smile, can you tell that I'm a mother of all girls, little girls dresses makes me smile and make things all better for me LOL

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  11. love the last picture. and the picture of ivy's little folded hands...so precious!

    i'm feeling quite similar...and on my way, too...thanks for sharing.

    and thanks for stopping by my blog :)

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  12. Gorgeous, lovely pics - all of them! The lighting is glorious and your kiddos are precious. Can't believe the pumpkins are out already...I'm so not ready for fall! OK, fall maybe, but definitely not winter. Thanks so much for your sweet comment on my blog too. Have a wonderful weekend! :-)

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  13. I have been feeling pretty broken myself these past few days (ahem, week). Today I think I felt the worst. But then, just as I got evie ready for bed, she started giggling. She's been difficult all day. I've been difficult. It's all been difficult. But those last few minutes where we cuddled on the bed and bounced up and down, and giggled...it was ok. I was ok.

    I think we're doing alright..me and Evie, you and your kids ;)

    Have a good weekend!

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  14. Oh goodness, that second picture! Be still, my heart. :) So adorable!

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  15. I'm so with you on all of this...everything...the whole shebang. But know this: you are so doing just fine, Stephanie. You are more than on your way; you are lighting the path for so many others. Know this, and have faith in it. Because it's so true.

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  16. Life is about always shedding our skins, isn't it? Just when the old one gets comfortable, we have to grow a new one all over again...

    Love the hats.

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  17. Here's to a new you... though, the "old" you isn't bad. I can say this because I have seen the love your friends have for you (on Twitter) and the love in your family (on your blog). You're obviously doing something right :)

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  18. "I'm on my way" is way better than, "nevermind, I'm not coming." good for you! :)

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  19. I love this Steph. Yours words and images are so effective in capturing the moment and the emotion.

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  20. I LOVE this post. Just how I've been feeling. Or I'm interpreting it that way, anyway.
    It's a drifting, thinking, praying time... trying to sort and process, "shedding old skin," pruning the tree.

    Your children are just precious-- such wonderful pictures!

    So glad I read this tonight. Thank you for your honesty.

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  21. love these little outfits, so cute.


    happy sunday ladies!

    teenie xo
    {etsy shop} www.wellies.etsy.com
    {blog} www.loveandwells.blogspot.com

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  22. (((hug)))

    (those parentheses just aren't cuttin' it for me.)

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  23. i am on my way too. creeping along at a snail's pace, but still. i am also in need of a good shedding. thank you for this post ♥

    and your children... words cannot express how beautiful... you are blessed indeed.

    xo,
    erika

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  24. I can't believe Gray said "Ah, this is the life!". How cute is that??

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  25. This is so great... I love the pics, love the writing... love EVERYTHING!

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  26. Little pieces of you I did not know...

    The broken beyond fixing thing falls on familiar ears--though I'm puzzled to hear someone who is as together as you say it. Someone who more than once I've described as being a "shining light".

    I know it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. I know it only matters what you feel. But for what it's worth...I aspire to many of your "shining light" qualities. For reals.

    XO

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  27. I totally let my 4-year-old ride on the grocery cart that way too! ;)

    stephanie@metropolitanmama.net

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