September 29, 2010

Flesh Colored

two left feet
looks like I have two left feet/ feels like it most days too



Today I wanted to post a photo of Ivy's new cast, I wondered what color she would choose...


We got to the doctor's office, and they ordered new x-rays (I was annoyed) but-

they found that her arm was not broken.

look ma, no cast
look ma no cast!

After moving it about without the soft cast on and pulling on my dress and opening the door knobs and pulling herself up with both arms onto the exam table and chairs... the Dr. came to the conclusion that her arm is probably just fine.


wonderivy
Wonder Ivy!

I'm ashamed I let my guard down- I didn't demand a second opinion in the first place, as I would have in the past, and was truthfully almost frustrated they had to take new x-rays (think: cha-ching) But I'm so glad they did.

I should know better than that. I've just been so tired lately, all my instincts are jumbled and I'm not being very responsive. But this was a very good reminder. A second (actually 3rd and 4th opinion) saved my Noah.

Duh, you'd think I'd remember important stuff like that, but no. My mind no worky.


Yesterday I wrote what I wrote and felt what I felt and it was very real. But, so, I got it out and now what? I am going to do something about it.

run and play

So lately I've been feeling all sorry and sad about the boys not having enough room to play ball in the backyard without it constantly going over the fence, or I'm shrilling out the window for them to stop yelling (for real? They are outside! If kids can't yell outside...?) so as soon as they got off the bus I told them to eat a snack and we drove to some place that did have room and space to run and kick and yell.

lifed

If we don't have it here, no more wasted time waiting, we'll go to where it is.

And we'll run and kick

and yell and

live.



41 comments:

  1. Best pictures ever!!! Ivy is a super girl...and her mom is awesome too.

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  2. Our backyard is totally big enough for running and ball kicking and if it goes over the fence, we just have a field behind our house. So you know, any time you want to bring them over, they can play ball and we can sit on the deck and drink wine. :)

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  3. It sounds like many prayers for healing were answered! That's wonderful!

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  4. Now, that's the Determined Steph I know and Love. Don't be so hard on yourself for not knowing what to do about Ivy's arm. We've all been thru it before. You did the right thing by having it checked out. Now, what is she doing standing on that table?

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  5. Steph, I love this post and yesterday's. I love how you're so authentic and willing to admit you're not Supermom. You *are* a super mom, though. :)

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  6. Love your shoes. Love Ivy's sweater. Love that her arm isn't broken. Love the mom you are. :)

    britt

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  7. Good thing Ivy's arm is ok :-) She is a cutie pie in all those pictures!!!!

    And yay for outdoor kicking and yelling :-) You are doing a great job Mama, keep it up :-)

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  8. glad to hear ivy's arm is all better. with my daughter and her broken leg, we were told at the er that it wasn't broken...but i just knew it was. it was the weekend so i made sure to get her into the doctor right away on monday...and sure enough...another look at the x-rays and the fracture was found. i'm glad i persisted! you did good with ivy...you made sure to get her checked out and took good care of her!

    i need to get myself motivated to live and enjoy life better as well!

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  9. Good stuff this is. :-)

    I've been really tired with life as well....but I keep pushing forward, knowing that sooner or later I'll get to the place where I can run and jump and kick, too.

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  10. Happy to hear Ivy's arm is OK.

    And excellent reminder to try to actually fix our problems after we recognize them.

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  11. I am so glad to hear Ivy's arm isn't broken. Yay! No cast!
    With all of the children running around this house it does tend to get a little loud. I do ask for decibels less than a jet engine taking off while inside, but once outside all bets are off! Just as long as no one is screaming as if something is broken, please. :)

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  12. It is always strange to me when I read a post from you when you are down on yourself, since I look up to you so much as a mom. But we are our own biggest critics. And human. I hope some wide open space does your soul some good.

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  13. Hurrah, I'm so happy to hear about Ivy's arm! Halia's is much better, but she still holds in gingerly out of the way when I pick her up.

    The yard probably doesn't seem nearly as small to the boys as it does to you.

    It's crazy how we can learn a lesson and think we know it and yet, whoops, I forgot. Last night I reread one of my posts from 2008 before Jade started keto and was horrified to REALLY REMEMBER how horrible it was. I thought I remembered, but reading those words -- POW! -- oh my. I think it's a survival mechanism. :)

    *hugs*

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  14. I know that park. Good choice, Steph!

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  15. I love Ivy's little sweater and I'm so glad her arm is fine and your brain worky just fine! It's just a little tired these days. hugs to you Steph. xo

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  16. That last pic of them is super cool. Nice shot. And I'm glad Ivy's arm isn't broken. :)

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  17. I read your blog faithfully and it is one of my favorite. I truly enjoy your writing and your photography is beautiful.

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  18. Glad Ivy's arm isn't broken. I totally feel you on the backyard space/noise level thing. I have 3 boys 6 and under and it was so stressful to keep them quiet and content in our little townhome (with only a patio!) when we lived in CA. We moved a few months ago to WV and they can finally be as loud as they want and we have 2 acres to run around on. (Military life...we move constantly so who knows what sort of backyard or lack thereof we will end up with next but I am definitely appreciative of the space now.)
    Good for you for being inventive with your options.

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  19. Yay no broken arm!!! *happy dance*

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  20. So glad that Ivy's arm is ok, what great news!

    Just wanted to remind you to give yourself grace for the moment. It's easy to give others, but particularly as a parent, difficult to give ourselves. Grace is certainly what we all need, in so many ways.

    Going to the park to enjoy childhood? Sounds like a plan to me!!

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  21. I know what you're saying. We can't be a slave to our emotions, it can't rule us. We have to make choices.

    I was in a terrible dark place a month ago. A blog I read spoke to me, "I knew that for my family, my children, my husband, I had to change. I had to choose deliberately. Every day."

    I make myself do that. Even though it's the harder thing to do....just have to push through.

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  22. P.S. Don't know how I found your blog, but feel blessed that I did.

    Thank you for the honesty and openness that you write with.

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  23. Yay for healthy little bones!!

    Glad you guys can get to an open area easily. Yelling and running are important parts of being a kid...

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  24. Love your shoes (where did you get them?). I ADORE Ivy's sweater (did you make it?)

    You do a wonderful job day in and day out - I know this because I can see it in the pictures you take of your children & post here for us to view - it plainly visible by the smiles on their faces. I know this from the kind words you have exchanged with me via email. I know this because you inspire me to have a little more patience, view what is before me with from a different angle and take the time to appreciate the blessings that I do have instead of wishing for what I don't. So, stop second guessing yourself and your ability to be a mom.

    Ok?

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  25. So glad to hear that she doesn't have a broken arm & enjoy the running, jumping & playing (and I guess the yelling too....LOL)

    P.S. I adore your shoes as well.

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  26. Thanks everyone!!! My shoes are from my FAVORITE place to buy shoes: MARHSALL'S! They are by Bandolino!

    Steph

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  27. Um, I really can spell: I meant MARSHALL'S.

    Steph

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  28. I'm glad that Ivy's just fine.

    And I'm glad that you found a space to run and play and yell. Sometimes we all need that - even the big people.

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  29. OMG Noah looks like a teenager in that pic! :)

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  30. That last picture of all your kids...but Noah. Ack. My heart. And I don't even know him. He's all grown up. And so chill. And ... he just looks like a really great kid.
    You are a blessed woman and I admire you.

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  31. Oh my gosh! Noah looks so much older in that photo! I'm glad Ivy's arm is OK.

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  32. Oh Ivy the miraculous healer!!! We knew she would recover over night!!! And yes... sometimes you have to find your space... I realized a while back I was shushing my kids on the beach - it was our winter, two old grannies and grandpas taking their constitutional walk and that's it!!! If my kids can't be "wild things" there then it is a sad sad world... It may be my bad habits partly, but I do think its a bit of a sad world too, since our boring neighbors moan about everything!!! So glad Ivy's ok... shew so glad!!!

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  33. So glad to hear Ivy is ok after all!
    And that you all found a place to yell and kick and run (can I visit that place? ^^).

    many hugs from Brazil

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  34. So happy her little arm is fine and that you didn't have to go through the awful cast wearing period! You are a great mom and person, I say go easy on yourself and give yourself a much deserved break :-)

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  35. Oh yay! I'm so glad she didn't need a cast!!
    And you're doing it all SO SO right, Steph <3 Don't be hard on yourself!

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  36. Well said. All of it. And that last photo of your babies...breathtaking!<3

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  37. I'll find myself from time to time -- especially when I'm stressed or tired-- making silly demands, like no yelling in the backyard (??) or stop running down the sidewalk (??). And sometimes if I'm prayerfully living that day and trying to walk by the Spirit instead of just in my flesh, I realize the nature of my requests are born out of impatience or unrealiatic expectations. So on a good bad day when I realize this, I act and we go and life turns for the better just because of my attitude change.
    Thank you for this reminder as we approach a long day on little sleep. (my three year old is a ring bearer in a good friend's wedding and we had a rocky travel day and little sleep, which means I really needed to read this today!)

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  38. I'm so glad that Ivy's arm is okay! And thank you for the reminder to get a 2nd opinion about medical-related things. Too many people (including me, sometimes) take everything doctors say at face value instead of researching their options.

    stephanie@metropolitanmama.net

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