September 8, 2010

(and still breastfeeding, too)

ivygray
(this photo has nothing to do with breastfeeding, I just loved it.)


One week from right now, she will be two. My baby, my youngest, will be two years old.

I am farther away from baby in my belly, from childbirth, from new-born life, and am holding heavy in the toddler/child/tween stage now.

I say Ivy has completely skipped age 2 and moved straight to 3. We have conversations. She has opinions and can
express them.

The other morning she got up in my face (that's her way) and made sure our eyes were looking at each other, and she said, "oatmeal, Mommy?" and so I made her some oatmeal (just plain oats cooked in water with a sprinkling of cinnamon) and when I started to put it in a regular white bowl, she said, "No, mama. A dipprent bowl." (her f's sound like p's)

She wanted a different bowl, her yellow bowl.

She asks for "NahNip" or "NaaaNap"- if I'm caught sitting down anytime
anywhere she mistakenly sees that as an open invitation to come feed. She would totally nurse all day long if I let her.

I don't really think about it, not in the way that I think "look at me, I'm so awesome, I am still nursing my baby/child." But I do feel happy about it; I don't desire to stop nursing any time soon.

I have had horrible allergy issues lately and was advised not to take certain medications because they could cause my milk to dry up. And some would see this is a perfect opportunity to finish and be done with it. And I'll be honest the thought did cross my mind for a nanosecond. But I know she is not ready to wean, and (although I am looking forward to having my body back all to myself completely), I am in this season with both feet and all my body. And heart and mind. (And sometimes really worn out breasts.)

As sure as I look out my window and see autumn smiling back at me, I know well how the seasons visit and depart all too soon. However, if you really stop and get to know them and breathe deep in... they can be such polite guests- arriving on time, and, always knowing when to leave.



42 comments:

  1. Almost two???? How can this be?

    What a lucky girl Ivy is. xoxo

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  2. Beautiful post!
    The last paragraph is something that we should all live by.

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  3. Oh, my heart (as the mama of a two year old myself) ...

    "However, if you really stop and get to know them and breathe deep in... they can be such polite guests- arriving on time, and, always knowing when to leave."

    You got me with that part there. A few sniffles (in the good way) and some smiles. Thanks for this post today!

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  4. That last paragraph is now printed up and hanging on my board in the office.

    Beautiful...

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  5. That is wonderful, Steph. What a gift you've given her.

    Nell

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  6. I'm so happy a little girl gets to have you as her mom.

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  7. What a lovely post! I have a 20-month old (today is her birthday!) and we are still nursing (actually wrote about it the other day). I have thought about weaning for nanoseconds too, but think it's such a lovely bonding experience for us two. Best to you and your lovely daughter!

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  8. Awww this is a sweet post Steph, I wish I would still be nursing our little one at 2 but I always get preggo when they are 10 months old and by the time they are 15 months they self wean (because my milk changes)

    Cherish it every moment!!!

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  9. This is sweet. Your words always make me SO anxious to have my own sweet babies...I may need to stop reading for a while... ;) Just kidding. I'll be strong.

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  10. The last paragraph is beautiful! My sweet John-John is only a about a month than Ivy. He still loves to snuggle in his ergo or a sling which I love but he stopped nursing at about 21 months. It was bittersweet.

    I hope to have another little blessing soon...

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  11. I absolutely loved nursing. The longest I nursed was 26 mos - that was my middle child. Ironically it was my last that I nursed the least. I weaned her at 15 mos due to some medical tests I needed to take, and I was just done.

    I treasure every season of parenting (except, perhaps, potty training) and while I am always sad to see one season go, I find that I usually like the next one just as much. :-)

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  12. i just passed a year, can you believe how fast it goes? sometimes i do wish for my body back but i try to remember that in ten years i'd probably sell everything i own for one more peaceful nursing session. it's a treasure.

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  13. Wow - congrats to you for sticking with breastfeeding for so long! I know how not easy breastfeeding is...that deserves some kudos!

    And your girl is just a doll!

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  14. I remember at Ladybug's 2nd birthday I didn't think we were ever going to wean (I wasn't ready, so it was okay). But it came soon enough. Enjoy! (I know you do!)

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  15. I so needed to read this today. I'm having a trying time with Tommy and nursing. He's still such a baby that I can't imagine him weaning, but he is so rough and demanding that it's just not fun right now. He scratches at my mouth and face, he tugs down my shirt, he BITES, and I just keep thinking that maybe I should just quit, but you're right. This is a season and I'm not quite ready for it to pass yet.

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  16. You said it better than I could. It's hard because you want to sit but OH, THERE THEY ARE, these nuzzling-almost-two-year-olds looking for some face-to-boob time. And as much as I desire to have my body back, the idea of it totally and completely ending? Done? Over? Finished? I can't bear it and to say goodbye to all of that. And how grateful I am that Baby Dude isn't ready to, either.

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  17. My allergies have been out of control this fall... it's not fun :( I feel for you.
    She is so sweet. This age is incredible, and maybe it's the girl thing - the conversations and opinions and whatnot. Fynn wasn't talking much at this age, but Paige sounds so much like Ivy.

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  18. "She asks for "NahNip" or "NaaaNap"- if I'm caught sitting down anytime anywhere she mistakenly sees that as an open invitation to come feed. She would totally nurse all day long if I let her."

    This part really hit home to me! My 19 month old is the exact same way. Especially since I work out of the home and when I come home to her she immediately sits on my lap, starts to pull up my shirt and looks at me with a HUGE grin on her face and her "huh?" questioning sound. I ask her to say please, she replies with "pwease?" and a kiss and then nurses happily.

    The only times I think about weaning are at night when she will.not.stop.nursing or when she bites. Hopefully when we move her to her own bed here soon, the nursing all night long will change!

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  19. Just lovely.

    My 20 month old would (and sometimes does) nurse all day if I let her too. I love it.

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  20. Wow, it feels like yesterday that you were doing that week long Ivy-palooza full of posts for her 1st bday. Where did the time go? She's so pretty. So glad you are still nursing.

    For the allergy thing, my herbalist has helped us SO much the past few months, you can talk to her over the phone (60 bucks for initial consult). Wade and I both died of allergies after moving to AZ, she got rid of them. She figured out Thatcher was allergic to Vinyl, and that's why he cried in the car, and she got rid of his allergy. She helped heal Capri of her gluten allergy, and so yeah, we pretty much love her.
    Let me know if you want her information (hope you feel better soon!)

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  21. My littlest is 18 months old and still nursing as well. No plans for weaning in the immediate future.

    Also - your last paragraph was pure poetry.

    stephanie@metropolitanmama.net

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  22. It pains my heart to have given up nursing my baby at 19 months, it was very hard for both of us. I had to do it to start fertility drugs and be able to (eventually) give him a new brother or sister. We are in the middle of this now, getting an embryo transfer next week. Your writing is so beautiful, you inspire me everyday. God bless you and your family.

    mamaboricuaenbrooklyn.blogspot.com

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  23. Gage is almost 10 months, and that's the longest I've ever nursed my 3 kids.

    I have to admit, it's post like this that inspire me.

    Thank you so much for sharing your stories.

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  24. So beautiful, Steph. Thanks for sharing.

    xoxo

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  25. I'm pregnant with my 4th child, but I haven't been successful with breastfeeding with any of my other 3. I would *love* to have that, but despite every single thing we tried(my husband is a pediatrician, my mom is nurse and one of my best friends is a LC...we tried *everything*), it wasn't meant to be.

    After I finally gave up with my 3rd child, I said that I wouldn't even try again when I had another baby. But I can't *not* try. Reading things like this confirm my decision to push on against the odds. Who knows? Maybe, just maybe I'll get my chance this last go 'round.

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  26. Yay Steph! You have one lucky little girl there ♥

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  27. You encourage me to keep on nursing my son well beyond the age of one, despite his squirminess and the teeth that sometimes get in the way. There are moments I wish to be done nursing, but then, in one sweet moment, he cuddles up next to me and closes his eyes with contentment while he gently nurses and I realize I will miss these moments.

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  28. You encourage me to keep on nursing my son well beyond the age of one, despite his squirminess and the teeth that sometimes get in the way. There are moments I wish to be done nursing, but then, in one sweet moment, he cuddles up next to me and closes his eyes with contentment while he gently nurses and I realize I will miss these moments.

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  29. I still regret giving up nursing Giggles when everyone else told me it was time to stop. It was rough and I couldn't leave her, but she just wasn't ready and neither was I. I don't have those same regrets about The Chicken. She weaned herself and nurses less than her sister, but she was ready.

    So do it as long as it feels right and when it is time you will know. (Not that I need to tell you that)

    Love the last paragraph.

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  30. My son is one month older than Ivy, and I'm right there with you. Or, I should say, me and my worn-out but mostly content to be here breasts are right there with you. ;)

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  31. I cannot believe Ivy is almost 2! I'm shocked. And I love that she asked for a different bowl...Henry does that, too. I guess oatmeal just doesn't taste as yummy as it can be in certain bowls.

    This was such an incredibly beautiful post. I'm so glad you wrote it, because I'm going to print it off and keep it forever. To remind myself why extended nursing is so worth every second. It makes it even MORE special when they have opinions and can express them, that they choose to have that closeness, that comfort - still.

    It's a testament to the love between the two of you. And I know I've said it a million times, but I really think you are the most amazing mother, woman, friend, writer....you are loved by so many.

    Thank you for being who you are, and sharing it with us.

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  32. I love this, Steph.

    And honestly, it seems so impossible that Ivy is going to be two. It goes so fast...that's the thing about these seasons that we sometimes try to rush.

    You're a really really good Mama.

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  33. That is indeed a wonderful picture. :)

    Happy almost birthday, big girl!

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  34. A PERFECT post.
    My girl just turned one and I hope we still have a couple years of nursing ahead of us.

    hugs from Brazil!

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  35. Such a sweet post, Steph. Axel isn't far behind Ivy (2 more months) and these babies with a pile of older sibs certainly do seem to skip right ahead, don't they? The talking, the conversations, the opinions and preferences, all of it. I'm so glad we're still nursing and breaking out the mei tai. I hope to keep it up through winter's cold and flu season, but then I think we'll be done come spring. It's crazy to think about. I've been pregnant or nursing for almost 8 years straight, and it will be strange to have this season come to a close. *sniff*

    Love this post and the last. It is so good to soak in these babywearing/babynursing moments, especially with these little tots who think they're big kids most of the day.

    -elizabeth

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  36. "However, if you really stop and get to know them and breathe deep in... they can be such polite guests- arriving on time, and, always knowing when to leave."

    I needed this. Beautiful and so true. We are looking welcoming Fall as we are saddened to see Summer wave good bye.

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  37. That's one of the wonderful things about nursing, that it can be on it's own time, as you and your child need it to be.

    And how is it that she is almost two?? (reminding me again that my baby girl is almost ONE!) ACK!

    Your writing is beautiful here Steph, especially those last lines... wow.

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  38. I totally understand how the 4th child is so much more grown up at a younger age. People always think Ivory is older than she is but she tells people she is in 1st grade too. She is so believable just really small :)

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  39. I can completely relate to how you feel. I nursed my son to 33 mos, and we mutually ended...and celebrated with a weaning party on the 4th of July. He still talks about his weaning party!

    drgarnecki at gmail dot com

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  40. That last paragraph left me speechless in it's eloquence. Beautifully said!

    My son is 7 months and knowing he is my last, I'm clinging tightly to every second of our breastfeeding relationship. I know from my daughter just how quickly the time passes and it's hard not to think ahead and mourn the end of breastfeeding, long before that time comes.

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