Usually haircuts and colors matter a lot to me, but they aren't cheap, they cost a lot of money really. And I've seen my hairstylist for, almost 15 years? I can't go to someone else, so if I can't pay for her services then I'll wait until I can.
Sometimes if I really need color, like the greys are trying to escape in large parties, then I'll use something out of a box to temporarily cover & hope it holds me over for a while. But I glanced at myself in the mirror yesterday and saw the greys (to be honest, they are more of a silver) and I didn't cringe or feel sad that I need a hair makeover.
I actually felt comfortable. And not in the way that I've just "given up" but in the way that, HELLO IT'S HAIR and it's kind of beautiful au naturel this way.
Kind of how when I don't wear much makeup and I see the lines by my eyes in a photograph, where I'm smiling so big. Those things make me happy.
Maybe going simple is the new going green and I'm just all trendy, or what not, but it just makes sense in my heart. Not only responsibly- because obviously I can not justify spending money on getting my hair done if there are bills over due, but it makes me step back when I sometimes forget to take that step (or two, or three) back.
It makes me sad when you might look at someone and think, they need a makeover. Well, maybe you're (finger pointing at me) the one that needs the true makeover. In your brain.
Why do we have to have sooo much? And, not only so much, but new stuff. What if the old stuff still works fine, it's just outdated, or needs a little cleaning? And what are my kids learning from this always wanting more way of thinking? And why do I feel so duped because I thought I was better at this "stuff" stuff, yet I've gone along with it for so long... and I know better?
My kids won't be going shopping for back to school clothes. This does not make me sad. The same tees and shorts they've worn all summer long still fit and will work great until the cold weather comes. Then we'll see what doesn't fit from last year and we'll most likely buy second hand, or ask on Freecycle, or ask for Christmas gifts. They don't need much. We don't even have very many drawers in our house to fit a lot, anyway. And I'm always doing laundry, so what if Ivy wears the same dress several times a week? She happens to love that dress. And so do I.
And same with me. I have a couple skirts and tees that I feel really good in. Why do I need more than that... to satisfy a need for belonging? For looking like more than what I really have, or really am on the inside? Am I contributing to the big huge myth that I am okay because I have a nice appearance but I'm really one big fat faker on the inside?
This is the stuff that tugs at my thinker in the night and wrestles me into my pillows.
I've really become thankful for our cloth diapers in the recent tight times. Not having to buy diapers is wonderful. I really hadn't noticed the payoff so much until now, when I need it the most.
We already ate pretty healthy, but bypassing convenience foods for homemade really does lighten the grocery bill. "Fruit snacks" to my kids are: fresh grapes, kiwi, orange slices, apples... you know, fruit as a snack.
Eating out at restaurants or via drive thru isn't even an option.
But how excess and short cuts have stolen from fulfillment in my life in the past. I notice it every time I peel an egg, snap green bean, pour the batter, something in my soul is awakened, is set afire.
Saying this is right for you.
With four kids we already sought out cheap or free activities, so local parks, the beach, libraries (why buy books when you can check them out for free??), our own back yard (literally), they are our favorite.
Sure, to many this stuff is booo-ring. And requires PATIENCE: we might have to wait for the book or movie we want, we might have to save up for a while until we go to the zoo, we might have to slow the heck down,
but why in my heart do I think my kids see that as a bad, undesirable thing? Someday they will for sure find out that no matter how fast-food this life is, not everything can be had or bought or worked for in an instant.
I want them to have time to appreciate, to know how to appreciate without being told, to marvel, to delight in the moon and not the image of a moon on a computer screen, but the real-live moon outside on our lawn!
I want them to be able to speak, or put pencil to paper, or even fingers to keyboard and communicate and share thoughts that are their very own, with people that can receive them. And to those people that can't hear it, or won't, may their words leave them asking questions and a desire to know more.
There will always be something new, to temporarily cover- and we'll hope it holds us over for a while...
but how much longer do we really have?