I made a deal with Gray on Saturday that he was going to wear whatever I picked out for church in the morning. (Ok, so it wasn't really a deal, it was a punishment, because he broke my BRAND NEW(ish) jump rope after I had told him he could not play with it.)
He had to wear whatever shirt I chose (even if it had a small tag) and whatever pants I chose (they would NOT be the Aunt Lisa pants) and sandals (NOT shoes with socks like he insists, even in the hottest of weather.)
Come Sunday morning he played it off like I forgot. Hey Mom, I can't find my Aunt Lisa pants... and then he saw what I'd laid out for him to wear (a shirt and shorts that I'd bought a few months ago from Mini Boden (not cheap) and he still hadn't ever worn). His face contorted and yet he remained strong. He might have mumbled Aunt Lisa pants a few times under his breath but he wore that outfit- with a SMILE, actually.
I got myself ready for church and started getting everyone in the car. There, standing in the door is Gray, still in his new outfit, mind you, but-
with a few added accessories.
[Cape, Spiderman glove, and backpack, I'll take you over the Aunt Lisa pants ANY DAY.]
Yes, he wore it the whole church service.
Later that night as we were fixing dinner, Jeff was trying to get something out of the
scary utensil drawer and the vegetable peeler put the measuring spoon in a headlock and the vegetable peeler lost, breaking off a blade.
Me: "Whoa, this is dangerous. I could totally shank you with this." I held it up and gave a little cut throat hand motion.
Jeff: "Hey, kids, your Mom's prison days are coming back to haunt us."
Kids: "Mommy was in PRISON?!"
Me: "NOooo. No no no. No. Daddy just made an awful joke. I was never in prison. Great, that's all I need, Jeff, for them to tell people I was in prison!"
Jeff: (in a girl voice) "I think we need more bird paintings on the cell walls."
Me: "Hahaha I probably would say that, actually."
Then I shanked him. Only not. But kinda, in my mind.