May 15, 2010

reality show

snippet

Jamming the plunger in the overflowing toilet, splashing onto my bathroom floor (yes that bathroom) I was marveling at my glamorous life.


I never ever wear Crocs, like haven't in at least a year, and I wore them today. Came in handy during that bathroom bit.

Gray uses a third of a roll of toilet paper when he pees. And he's a boy.

He also got chased by the tiniest dog you've ever seen in a pink terry cloth halter dress at the farmer's market. You would have thought he was going to die. Later we saw an even tinier dog in a rugby shirt.

There is like, not one room NOT ONE ROOM in my house right now that is even a wee bit tidy. I don't even know where to start.

I would pay a hundred dollars if someone would come over and let me nap right now. I'm not even kidding.


for real


What would I really see if I peeked in your windows right now?


39 comments:

  1. What would you really see? Me sitting on the couch, wasting time on my laptop while my 3yo watches too much tv. And she's wearing the clothes she wore yesterday, and I haven't combed her hair. There are toys all over the floor, laundry in various states of done/undoneness piled everywhere, and crumbs filling the Pack n Play. I've washed the same load of clothes twice because I can't seem to get it switched to the dryer. And my kitchen is FULL of dirty dishes.

    Does that make you feel less alone?

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  2. I think I will make a post about you question then leave a post length comment.

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  3. If you looked in my windows, you'd see me pouring you a glass of wine, welcoming you into my mess... and changing the sheets on the bed so you can take a nap. (Can I nap with you? I'll make sure we each have our separate space.)

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  5. Two small children playing in a huge pile of mega blocks, unfolded laundry in the living room, dishes on the kitchen counter... but the washer and dryer are running so at least something is making progress!

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  6. :) A pile of laundry that's not getting done. Loads of messes everywhere. Clean dishes, though! But, ignore the countertops.

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  7. Me sitting on the couch with the littlest trying to keep her happy-she's teething. Cooking taco meat for tomorrow's small group lunch and letting my son watch a movie in the other room. If the teething little could get happy, I might get more done today!
    LOVE your little girl's dress!! It is TOO cute!

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  8. You would see weeks worth of laundry [that finally I washed last week] sitting on my couch, goodie bags from a chocolate party I had that i need to hand out on my dining room table along with all our play pen accessories, dishes in the sink, dishwasher, and drying rack. You would find toys every where, things on our stairs to put away, and don't ask about upstairs!

    Last but not least, nothing is really set up in Liam's room and we bring him home tomorrow. That's my house :D

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  9. If you looked into my tiny apartment, you would find my husband asleep while a very tired me is reading this post while feeding her 1 year old (who woke up at 6:30 am today and has refused to nap because I made the mistake of taking her out in the morning) cheerios in a very messy kitchen. The laundry is half way done but not put away, their are clean dishes in the dishwasher, dirty dishes in the sink, a bag of diapers to be stuffed and folded and toys ALL OVER the living room.

    So yeah, I'm trying to keep it together.

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  10. I paid someone to come clean my house yesterday. I always prided myself on being able to do this myself -but who am I kidding? Now I have no shame in paying someone for this service. At least once a month for the "deep clean" stuff. If you are able to do so, I say go for it. Although I spent about a half day "cleaning up" in preparation of the maid's arrival! HA!

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  11. I'd do it for free if I lived near you. The sad thing is I bet you have friends that would too, but why is we won't ask?

    Hang in there. If you looked in my window right now you'd see lazy parents, a 9 year old playing way too much video games and a 7 year old determined to make us crazy--probably all related to each other huh?

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  12. Through my window you'd see me laying on the sofa, swathed in a huge afghan eating queso dip.

    Still in my jammies.
    Chipped red nail polish from Mothers Day.
    Hair in a pompous amount of fluff stuck to the top of my head with a clip that has four broken teeth.

    PRETTY.

    The two older boys have played seven hundred hours of video games with their Dad and Pixie and Mac have turned my favorite room in the house into a "station".
    (I don't know what that means but it involves a copious amount of blankets, chairs and every book they own.)

    I don't feel well today.
    Cleaning up the aftermath already seems impossible.

    I love you.
    I am very sorry for your drowned bathroom.
    I am going to go look at things I can't afford online.

    MWAH.

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  13. A living room that looks like a tornado went through it because when we pack up to leave for any length of time it's a guarantee that this is what happens. Shoes I decided not to bring get thrown on the couch, a spare leash dropped on the floor by the door when we realize that we have too many, and things dropped on the dresser in our living room in a hurry to get out the door.

    And that's just the living room. I won't mention my bedroom. No matter how organized I am, my bags are packed neatly, my house looks like a natural disaster hit in a very precise spot. Drives me nuts and embarrasses me to no end because no one believes that it could be true.

    I think we all need to cut ourselves a little slack and drink a glass of wine!

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  14. You would see 2 naked babies playing in the backyard sprinkler, 2 little girls in pink bathing suits digging in the dirt, and 2 boys driving cars in the mud. And me, sitting inside in the a/c, watching them as I make dinner. (And check email!) And you'd see a trail of sandy dirt going across my living room and I don't even care. ;)

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  15. you would see my two bras drying on my closet door and laundry piled in baskets just like the poor AC guy who I clearly did know my husband was bringing into our bed room.

    oh and ton of dog hair, we seriously need to swiffer the floors!

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  16. Hmmm.... you don't want to know! ;)

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  17. You would see my 7 year old throwing stuff at my 5 year old's head out of pure anger.

    You would see him going to push his dad and his dad chasing him up the steps out of pure anger.

    And you would see me sitting speechless in the living room wondering where we went wrong.

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  18. piles of folded laundry.
    piles of unfolded laundry.
    piles of dirty laundry that haven't made it into the laundry room, yet.
    a pile of dishes in each sink.
    toothpaste on all of the sinks.
    water spots on every mirror we own.
    dog hair in every corner of every room.
    crumbs under the table.

    that is, if you can see through my dirty windows.

    i'd invite you to take a nap at my house, but i'm afraid our sheets & blankets are in the washer getting that mildew smell since they've been there since whatever day emma threw up all over the sofa.

    you are not alone. at all.
    xo

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  19. @keli @ kidnapped by suburbia and @Jeni...I am pretty sure these girls looked through my dirty windows to see this...It makes me feel better to know that I am not the only one whose house is this messy!!

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  20. We, too, have an overflowy toilet. My husband got a new toy and it is called a Dual-Flush-Thingy, and you push the lever left if you pee and right if you poo, and the left side only uses a tiny bit of water and the right side? Well, pushing the lever to the right causes the toilet to overflow every.dang.time. I am really not sure at all how that Dual-Flush-Thingy is saving water. I'd settle for a Flush-Thingy that just keeps the stupid poop water in the stupid toilet.

    That is all.

    (I know, crabby much??? Mopping your bathroom floor 15 times in four days will do it to you.)

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  21. sinkful of dirty dishes, side table piled high with magazines I intend to read but never do, sleeping puppy and kitties, kids tucked into messy beds piled with too many toys. The laundry actually got folded and put away today, so that's a plus.

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  22. that tiny dog with the dress cracked me up. I will have to download the pictures I took of her. If you need to take a nap I wouldn't even charge you.

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  23. Oh please don't ask...and whatever you do, don't look in the bathrooms or lift the lids on the toliets....I'm blaming this streak of laziness and my dirty house on being pregnant and very tired...but I think it may just be laziness... :D

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  24. At the moment? Me, half ready for church, a sink full of dirty dishes, dog bones all over my carpet, crumbs on the desk from where Greg had dinner last night and a giant pile of mail on the table that needs to be sorted.

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  25. awesome.
    and I love everyone's comments.
    Right now, my house is asleep except for me. Kind of a boring thing to look at through the windows, but heavenly for me.

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  26. Don't be mad, but you'd see a clean house. But only because I had company. ;)

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  27. I could use an extra $100 ;)

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  28. Surpirsing you'd see a nearly tidy living room, but ONLY because my partner's mother babysat last night & always cleans for us.

    GOD SEND.

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  29. A very messy house, and me sitting sipping coffee and doing absolutely nothing about it :) It's been a long weekend and I'm tired, so I just don't care. I'll care tomorrow ;)
    Jeni...I am YOU! (except my girls are 11, 14, and 15...so there are no pack and plays involved :)

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  30. Steph,

    My house is in the worst disarray possible at this moment, I think. We are packing up to move (moving next Saturday!!!) and yesterday I was so frustrated with my kids not keeping their things in their own room (the only rule I set for during this time when mommy is being crazy trying to keep only those things which she deems absolutely necessary), that I decided to pack up every play thing they own with the exception of school stuff and a backpack each full of their own choice play stuff.

    I have been so focused on packing that my dishes piled up severely and I have considered packing them all up too (after washing them, of course), and begging my husband to allow us to eat out every day from now until Saturday - never going to happen. Moving is expensive enough already!

    Our beta fish were somehow surviving in the most stinky filthy water you can imagine for about a week (that was from when I was initially thinking, "rats, I need to clean those fish bowls..."), and I just barely got my pregnant body through cleaning them out without vomiting after church today.

    My genius-like sons decided that putting food coloring in water guns would be totally awesome after meeting cousins who are in the know about the world of paint balling, and decided to go around paint watering out entire house while I was putting Eleanor down for a nap yesterday. That dye had better come out of the carpet and out of the ivory matte paint on the walls or else!!!

    I am already scheduling (at least dreaming of doing so) for a deep cleaning of my bathrooms, kitchen, and carpets for just after we move. There's no way I'm going to have the energy to do it.

    Oh. And I just noticed that my poor daughter's diaper is sagging below her dress' hemline.

    See? Doesn't that make you feel so much better???

    All this being said. I love my kids more than life. I am excited to move out of an apartment - finally!

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  31. the same thing. I need to run away too.

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  32. that first picture is so great. I mean they both are but I love the perspective of the first one.

    You can ACTUALLY see how messy my kitchen was yesterday on my blog right now. It was G's birthday and we had a bunch of people over for a party. But still. Drives me nuts when it gets like that.

    Glad to see that you are feeling better about it all in your current post! :)

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  33. uh-hum.........I'm from the "don't ask, don't tell" era!!!!

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  34. That last photo is AWESOME. You really do have a talent with photography.

    If you peeked in my window right at this minute, you'd see me in my glasses, with wet hair in a bun, in a nursing nightgown, typing away at my laptop at my desk, reveling in the post-bedtime silence.

    stephanie@metropolitanmama.net

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  36. Seth said...
    Dear Mother,
    There will be days that feel like Christmas morning- when you wake up and look at your sweet child and feel so incredibly blessed and lucky. Amazed that you get to be their Mom. Like opening a new package each time.

    There will be nights when you check on them while they are sleeping and you’ll want to wake them and kiss them and tell them you’re sorry. For how the day went, for how you snapped or didn’t have patience or pay enough attention.

    There will be heartaches that will only draw you closer. There will be hard times that make the good times shine so bright.
    And there will be love. Lots and lots of love.

    There will be so many times you feel like you’ve failed. But in the eyes, heart, and mind of your child you ARE Super Mom. You are their world. And you are doing a fabulous job.

    Love,
    Stephanie Precourt
    www.adventuresinbabywearing.com

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  37. ahhh you asked... You would see a couch full of towels and blankets waiting to be folded, folded clothes on the foot stool infront of the couch and a LOT of baby gear and toys. That's the family room... dining room... you wouldn't see a dining room table because it's hidden under stacks of papers from my daughter's school, mail, freebies, junk and anything else that got set there. You would also find some bins of JUNK (waiting to be gone thru) lining one wall. Moving on... Kitchen you would see another table full of stuff, recycling (#5 containers waiting to be taken to the store that recylces them) stuff to be brought downstairs and outside and a bin of "too little for me" clothes. Oh and a pile of dishes in the sink.

    Shall we go upstairs?? Folded clothes in ALL THREE rooms waiting to be put away and DUST! Lots of dust! The bathroom is actually half clean and straightened up because I chose to do that this morning while my son napped... before I went to work. Ahhhh I'm SOOOOOO looking forward to June 3rd when I will become a stay at home mom... I can't wait! :)

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