February 19, 2010

A Gray Day

Grayson

At night I pray, please grow.


I plead him to be happy-er. To not fall through the cracks of two older brothers and one baby sister.

I'm going to love him until love comes out.

Gray eyes

He asks me, "What's your favorite color?"

The color of your eyes.

"Am I still your baby?"

You'll always be my baby.


[Alternately titled: Four (years old) is hard.]

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49 comments:

  1. My husband? Has eyes that same exact color. It's one of the first things I noticed about him.

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  2. thanks for sending this to me...it is totally making me cry. are our children just too sensitive for this world? i see other 4 year olds with the same pout and sadness and i really wonder what it is about this age. becoming less dependent must really be rough. maybe that's why we don't remember much before this age...haha.

    every day i try to think "today will be a good day"...and if i run that mantra through my head enough, it usually works. i think you're right...love them until love comes out. that's perfectly stated.

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  3. Oh my, 4 IS hard... I'm learning that with my first. He is darling, (and yes, with lovely colored eyes).

    And see? This is what I'm saying about gorgeous photos. Beautiful shots!

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  4. He is so handsome!

    I'm sure all kinds of LOVE will shoot out!

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  5. so sweet!

    and gorgeous boy with gorgeous eyes! our son's eyes are hazel (so far) and I'm hoping they end up like his.

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  6. this post reminds me of my Birdie in every way. ugh.

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  7. So nice to read about Gray again. He's lucky to have a mama who loves him as thoroughly as you do.

    And yes, 4 years old is kicking my tail. So many emotions in such little bodies. Emotions they can't convey, but can't ignore.

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  8. I'm struggling with my 5 year old, too. Health issues. It hasn't been easy, but despite it all, it's his eyes and smile that see me through it all. And the cuddles... OH the cuddles..

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  9. YOU are doing a great job, Momma. Love him. Love him. It is enough.

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  10. Totally sweet. It's been just a few short years since I've had a four year old in the house, but I certainly remember. What a sweet boy you have. I worry all the time about my middle boy falling through the cracks.

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  11. Oh this is so sweet. It gave me chills. And yes, 4 is very hard.

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  12. Oh, he is so, so, so cute. How can anything be hard when you are that cute....?

    Sadie at heyMamas

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  13. I have a recently turned four year old boy as well. He has such sad moments and so many feelings. I understand you well Steph.
    Thank you for sharing Gray with us. Hug him and love him and have a great day!

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  14. He's just adorable. Little boys are so wonderful :)

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  15. My husband is #3 out of four kids and I've heard so much of what a challenging kid he was and how his baby sister changed everything and (sorry) how he picked on her until high school. .He really developed a fun and strong personality though, and I (obviously) am so glad he is who he is. You won't let your #3 fall through the cracks either. You are a caring and in tune mama. Now let's go to Chickfila. (Clark is a hooligan uh I mean strong willed little guy and would probably love Gray btw.)

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  16. I love my Gray...I know he must have had the time of his life just the 2 of you.

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  17. Brought tears to my eyes!! You truly are an amazing writer!

    Amanda S.

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  18. {my eyes are the color of Gray's}

    Beautiful words. You paint him to be a gem of a boy - I bet he is.

    I often worry the same thing about my middle boy - falling through the cracks of an older brother AND a baby brother. It's probably my biggest fear with him.

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  19. I'm one of 4, and number 3? He's one of my best friends and checks in with me at least once a day lately with a text message that says "hey!". (he's 7 years younger than me) He stops by my mom's work every afternoon to get his "mommy fix" and is an extremely likeable guy who makes friends easily. It was a rough start when he was younger because it's easy to get lost with 2 older siblings and in our case a sick baby (my youngest wears hearing aids and was sick a lot his first several years).

    I guess what I am trying to say is keep praying. Gray will turn out wonderful because you care enough to make sure he's not left behind. He'll resent it a bit, maybe, but in the end it will most likely make him a ham who knows how to get your attention! That's something I've noticed in bigger families, the younger ones know how to get it done!

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  20. The love will come. Before you know it. You're planting so many seeds.

    Thinking of you this day.

    Bri

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  21. sometimes I feel like The chicken falls between the cracks and its just me, her, her sister and hubs.

    beautiful.

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  22. This is beautiful. I have these struggles with Luke, as he's on the cusp of three. It's so hard for their little selves sometimes, becuase they want to be so big, and yet, they also still want to be the baby.

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  23. Such a handsome little man you have there. my kids are also sensitive it's hard because often this world doesn't recognize the beauty in their tenderness, but we do. We always will.

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  24. I have a feeling that if we ever had another baby, Dash would be a lot like Gray.

    Funny how everyone reacts differently to the same family situations. It affects everyone differently. Anything that involves a family.

    Nell

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  25. 4 is hard. And some kids pull at it in a way that's even harder. But oh, oh so worth it.

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  26. I tell ya, I'm convinced the terrible two's are not so bad...it's ages 3 and 4 that are really tough. That's how it's been for us.

    I was just saying that what my 3 1/2 year old really needs is a couple more birthdays!

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  27. Oh how sweet!! I worry for my youngest sometimes. She is the quiet one. The one content to chill with whoever is around and is happy to play on her own. My middle child is loud and demanding of my time. I fear that my little one will get lost in the fray. I am afraid that my little one will be lost because she does not have her sister's spunk to make sure she gets all the attention she needs.

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  28. He has such pretty eyes!I hope things start getting happier and easier :)

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  29. I know what you're saying. I totally get it. Don't you wish we could have it both ways? That we could give them each what we want to and what they need, always have a spot open in the lap, while still giving them a herd of siblings to grow up with?

    I'm the 4th out of 5. I've got three of my own...I totally get this, Steph.

    Hang in there, just keep praying and hugging and loving and we'll all make it through alright.

    xo elizabeth

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  30. This post reminds me of my maggie (my middle). She's so independent and strong willed, that sometimes she doesn't demand the loving affection the other two do, and she needs it just as much as the other two do... if not more. I've been trying harder to not let her slip through the cracks lately.... this post is a perfect reminder.

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  31. you are such a good mama! I feel the same way about my sweet middle child... my 3rd born with 2 big brothers and a little brother and sister. He has always been quiet and sweet and can easily go unnoticed with all the craziness around here. It's not easy being the mama to many... but love conquers all.

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  32. I often pray the same thing for my 4 year old son - stuck between two sisters and aching to find his own foundation.

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  33. he has beautiful eyes...I think he's filled with happiness just doesn't know what to do with it yet!

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  35. You are a beautiful mother. I love the way you parent your children with your heart and wisdom mixed together. You are exactly right to love him until love comes out. Hang in there, it will happen, I promise.

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  36. oh, steph. i sure like that gray.

    keep pouring it in. it will come out. and the glimpses you get of it are so sweet and beautiful.

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  37. Wow, those eyes are truly amazing.

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  38. Ella agrees with Gray - four is HARD.

    (And this mama is hoping five is a bit easier!)

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  39. Thanks for the heads up about 4. I have a 3 year old. Thanks for the reminder to love, love, love.

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  40. Steph,

    You realy hit home with this one! We have the same range and sex of kids. Daily my (almost) 4 year old tests me over and over. And I LOVE his eye color too. Thanks so much for posting.
    sandra

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  41. Four years old IS hard. You can get lost in those eyes!

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  42. i think you're right...love them until love comes out. that's perfectly stated.

    Work from home India

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  43. Yes. It is. Even without being a middle. Gorgeous boy!

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  44. Hi,

    I am new here..First post to just say hi to all community.

    Thanks

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  45. Bless his heart. Bless your heart.

    (That's what we say in Alabama when we don't really have the right words!)

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