Oh Pretty Please!

I'm a finalist!!!

Please vote for me and ask everyone you know to vote, too. You know, if you don't mind and all!

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In His Face

There's no joy like when Noah is around his friends.

You Capture Joy.


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Alive At Your Door

Yesterday I took two kids to the dentist, three to the mall to have eye glasses repaired, and four to Target after school.

It rained most of the day and the hardest, of course, when all five of us sloshed through the Target parking lot. All of us soaked. And water leaked into my shoes. And Gray's.

And I felt the cold rain on my arms and heard the sounds of our rushing and breathed the smell of humid inside the car. Things weren't so out of focus. And I could taste being alive.

Noah made an excellent selection from the treasure box.

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The Crowd Intrudes All Day Til I'm Finally Swept Away

I found joy in the laundry today.

It's not like I was super excited about the crazy piles of it all but the mountain just didn't seem so big. Or rather... climbing that mountain didn't seem so impossible.

It's felt pretty impossible lately. I can't stand the 'tude I've had.

But today four doesn't feel like so many.

And all that goes with it.

This is just life. The lampshade hasn't fallen in several days. Mainly because the door is just left wide open.

But I am even finding joy in that.


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We Walked.

It was a success! Ivy slept the entire six(ish) miles in The Stroller. Such an awesome day. You can see more photos here on Flickr and feel like you were there, too!


Photo by Crooked Eyebrow

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The Elephant Has Left The Building

I am not sure if Beth even knows this, but the day I found out I was pregnant with my fourth baby, before I told anyone, I called her. I let it ring and ring and then I’d hang up when there was no answer. I did that a few times. I don’t know why. I couldn’t tell you the last time we had seen each other or even emailed. Something in me wanted so desperately to share this moment with her and say Guess what? I’m pregnant, too!

We would be expecting at the same time, but I never got to see her pregnant with James and Jake. I only know the before & after Beth. From reading her posts, of course, I knew the “during” Beth in a certain way, I guess. The excitement and the life- lives - which filled her body. And then before I could truly cherish in this time with her, her belly and arms were empty. I never saw in person what carried her eyes from full of fun and mischief to the eyes where tears and hurt and immense loss had now made their home.

The night we finally arranged a girl’s night out, when Beth probably wasn’t quite ready yet, my soul attached itself to her in a way I can not explain. But the girls that were there know what I experienced. They felt it, too. Our very beings united and have yet to separate. I’ve never seen Beth more beautiful and radiant. There, sitting next to me full of heartbreak and grief. Me, with a baby kicking inside when she should have two kicking inside her, too. From then on I’d do anything for Beth. I ate a cheeseburger for her that night.

I previously had thoughts of hiding my belly. Doing everything I could to help her forget that I was pregnant like she should be. How can I be a good friend in this time when I might just be a hurtful reminder? But, if you know Beth, you know she is honest and raw and with her, there is never an elephant in the room. It is the very thing she is against. And if one happens to show up, she is the first to acknowledge it and call his fat butt out and make everyone laugh about it.

I was just with Beth the other night and saw a whole new light and dark within her eyes. She’s not just the after Beth anymore. I’m really not sure who she’s becoming right now, to be honest, but the deepness that is her heart and core is none like I’ve ever seen before. I’ve almost felt guilty that I’ve learned more from her during these past several months than I’ve been able to give back. It is never my desire to be the taker. But she draws you to her and reveals a spirit- a crystal clear window to look in and see her broken heart, observe it, poke it with a stick, and tell you how much it sucks.

And because there are no elephants allowed, I never feel like I have to caress her hair, feed her bible verses, and say it’s all going to be ok. Because to her it’s not ok. Yes, everything will eventually seem better… someday. Someday she might even be pregnant again and head down a whole new road and life expanding her family in the way she dreams. And I trust those dreams will come true. I also believe that James & Jake will always be a part of those dreams, too. No matter how long or short their time was with us, they will continue to sparkle behind Beth’s eyes- sometimes with laughter and many times with tears. They are breathed within her words on these pages. I feel their presence. And I know that James & Jake, whether we speak it out loud or not, will forever connect our magical sisterhood without end.

(Sarah's not pictured because she was taking the photo!- July 2008)

Originally posted July 5, 2008 at I Should Be Folding Laundry.

Today we are walking together as Team James & Jake.


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MISSING: One Double Stroller

Tomorrow I am bittersweetly honored to walk as part of one awesome Team James & Jake. I'm all set to use my new-ish fancy stroller and swallowed an uncomfortable lump in my throat when thinking about another double stroller that will be absent tomorrow.

One that would have James and Jake riding along, maybe even leading our parade. Oh, they'll still be there. With every pair of butterflies their Mommy sees or those two birds flying overhead. With every heart missing them, too. They're just there in a different way.

I'd do anything for Beth. Everyone knows I can't say no to her. (She knows it, too, and you better believe she uses that power!) She tells me to eat a cheeseburger, I eat a cheeseburger. (Even though I might be vegan at the time.)

She tells me to taunt my child, darn it... maybe I'll write about that one later.

I wrote a post on her blog last year that I will share again tomorrow. Think of us as we are walking. (SIX MILES!)

I'd do anything for Beth.


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All By Mysel-e-elf

Well, I had good intentions to update you right away that I put together the stroller! All by myself! (Ok, so I did have to make a call in to the manufacturer for some assembly help- thanks, Alan and @RegalLager on Twitter!)

But the day got away from me and there's just no time! sometimes to even write up a quick post anymore. I was emailing with another blogger about this and he said hey, at least you're not ignoring your kids to keep the blog!

(Good perspective! I will let that make me feel better about myself for a moment even though I am super frustrated that I never get to write anymore!)

But seriously, I've been putting this off for over 7 months (rebuilding my stroller) and within just about an hour I had it done. It felt so good.

I had to take off everything- fabric, screws, thingamajigs from the old frame and transfer them over to the new frame. And then re-attach the good wheels and the new wheel. All without ANY instructions. Just by using my own two eyes!

For those of you wondering, the stroller is a Phil & Ted's Vibe that I won from Mom Generations, Mod*Mom, and Tots On The Go last year. It also has a doubles kit so that you can easily attach or take off to use it as a single stroller or double. (The smaller child goes in back) and it is really super awesome. And here is the post where I killed it.

This is what remained of the old skeleton:


And the new! :



Next up is ME. I so need a new me.


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Remember That Time I Ran Over My Stroller?

Remember this?

Well, it all happened pretty close to the time I was due with Ivy. And when the wonderful people at Regal Lager heard about my "accident" they sent a whole new frame for me to fix my pretty stroller. I put it up for when I had the chance to get it back together again. And wasn't all big and pregnant.

Then I had Ivy and, um, fast forward seven months and I still haven't put it together.

Until today.

I am going to do it. I have my doubts. But I am determined.

I'll keep you posted.


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Shepherd

I'm having trouble finding the stillness. I am surviving on scraps. I grasp pieces when I pick up the camera, in the too few chances I have to sit down to write.

In the latte I can't afford but I snuck out to get anyway this morning.

Waking at four a.m. because that might be the only quiet I get for another twenty-four hours. Or more. And still my soundtrack is the soft hum of the baby monitor.






And what's left in the crumbs of my stolen moments I'm reminded that I can nurse a baby, write a lunch money check, sign a field trip form, find a favorite shirt (right there! in the drawer where I said it was!), fill cups of orange juice, and practice spelling words all at the same time.

But I can't lead myself to the still waters.


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Save The Date!

At a recent playdate, Asher & Ivy were playing with their feet pressed together. Oh, do you think this love can last twenty-some years and we'll be someday planning a wedding?


Well, in the meantime, I'd really like you to save the date for an awesome Mom's Nite Out event we're having on Thursday May 7. If you live in Northwest Indiana, we'd love for you to come.

A special pre-event will be held at Butterfly Kisses boutique from 5:30-7pm.
And then please join us at Evelyn Bay Coffee Company from 7-9pm for the main event!

I'm still gathering all the details- there will be giveaways and specials and all sorts of goodies as well as just time to hang out! (This is Mom's Nite Out, so nursing babies only.)

Follow Butterfly Kisses on Twitter here. And Evelyn Bay Coffee here.

Spread the word! This is open to all Moms! You don't have to be a blogger or on Twitter to join in!

Visit the official Mom's Nite Out website to find events going on in your area and enter to win great prizes!

And if you have questions or would like more details, please email me stephanie.precourt [at] gmail [dot] com.

Please say you'll come! Leave a comment or email me letting me know you'll be there!

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My Mom Logic

My Mom Logic comes from the innermost workings of my heart, with most parts Love and with some parts of other things.

Like supernatural powers. (How else do I know that three rooms away behind a closed door someone is opening up all the bandaids? Or, if you want to get really serious, how else could I sense Noah having a seizure from downstairs as I decorated the Christmas tree? He made no sound, but I knew.)

Some parts experience... just knowing my children. Quite predictable creatures they can be until about age three. Then magically at age four it's back to reading them like a book again. What IS it about three?

Many parts trial and error. And getting it wrong more times than I get it right.

We're the heart of the home, Moms. (So they tell us.) If we don't take care of ourselves, make each child feel like they are our favorite, get enough chocolate, and exercise our right to have the most shoes in the closet, then the home just doesn't run like it should. Or something like that.

I'm just an every Mom. I have so many flaws. We All Do.

But it isn't the prettiest and smoothest rock my kids pick up off the ground or the most perfectly tall and yellow dandelion... it's always the one with the most scratches and scars, the wilted and the dirty, that make it into their pockets. The treasures that end up in my washer. The things I find under their pillows or deep inside their backpacks.

From the top of my head right down to my really cute shoes, I'm soft and scarred and sometimes utterly exhausted. And I love them more than it could ever be logically explained.



This post is part of my entry in the Mother Of All Bloggers contest by the Momlogic Community and Mom Bloggers Club. I've been nominated and they are narrowing it down to ten bloggers. THEN would you please come vote for me if I am selected and that way I can win my very first laptop??? (I'll keep you posted.)

This photo is one of my favorites, back when Ivy was still in my bellay. By Ashlee Allen.


p.s. I personally credit my "supernatural powers" to be a listening to the Holy Spirit kinda thing. I couldn't Mother without it.

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And Then I Set Fire To A French Toast Stick

It still smells like burning.

Last night amidst the chaos of looking for a neighbor boy that never made it home from playing at our house -and his Mom still hasn't called me to let me know all is ok so I will be calling the school today (it's a much longer story that I can't tell here)- I was readying my own children for bed and making a little snack for Noah and cooked it a bit (ok a lot) too long.

Smoke BILLOWED out of the microwave and I had to run the fan and open all the doors and windows and almost evacuate.

And oh that poor French toast stick.

I had to take it out back and, well, let's just say it's in a much better place now.

My Mom was following me on Twitter and emailed me worried. I called her and she first wanted to know if the microwave was ok. Yes, Mom. And so are we! Just kidding. She asked about us, too. After hearing the microwave was ok.


Oh and remember that contest Ivy was in? Well, thanks to YOU, she won!!

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Just A Smidgeon

When Ivy sleeps she sprawls. Like a long stretched cat with arms up and even the fuzz on her head reaches as far as it can. Her face and her chin and her nose down to her tummy and her legs are in complete abandon.


She's very mobile now. Not crawling but doing the most lady-like butt scoot with her legs bent to the side and if you were sitting here with us you wouldn't think she is going anywhere. But soon you'll notice that, hey, how did she get all the way over there?

She'll be in the same position but now playing with the toy that was a few feet away just moments before. She's grabbed a book or found paper to crumple or that one lone piece of fuzz the vacuum missed.


In a relationship. Your faith. A few extra pounds.

A little smidge can take you very far away. Over time.


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Excuse Me But Can I Be You For A While?

Every time the back door slams, the lampshade in my living room falls down.

The nice weather has arrived. Finally! But with that the doorbell rings at 9 am on a Saturday. Neighbor kids want mine to come out to play. I just want to walk around on the weekend with no bra on and maybe leave the bathroom door open? Maybe not scare the other parents when they come to find out where their kids are? Because believe it or not, I need large amounts of concealer and a good hair brushing or I am a very scary woman.

These kids- my own and who knows who else's- keep knocking down my lampshade.

Some days there are too many to keep track of.

Some days, there just aren't enough. My throat is sore from all the scolding and correcting and my head hits the pillow and I wonder how my children can love me. The one person that is always telling them what not to do or not to jump on or not to eat off the ground or out of their nose.

Tomorrow I'll start over. Tomorrow is always like the day before.

I can't believe the girl I used to be, squandering away her days of nothing and if I could just have a taste of those moments of a room all to myself, door closed and listening to music for hours. Nowhere to be and no one else that needs me.

She was so empty. And I, although I some days appear to be falling apart. I am full.

I have pillows that won't stay on the couch. Dishes that won't stay clean. And, oh. That darn lampshade again.


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Someone Sent Me Flowers

I walked in the door and there were flowers! For me!


Apparently I've been spotted by 1-800-FLOWERS ... and this Monday they'll be talking about me here!



I'm sure they must have caught me eating standing up while getting Ivy to sleep and overseeing Carter's homework the other night. Or maybe they saw me put both of Gray's shoes on the wrong feet this morning.

Maybe I was spotted handling all four in the fancy dentist's office with grace and ease only to fall apart and lose it in the parking lot?

Another way to spot a Mom:



My usual bouquet on display.

I must say, I love it just as much.













1-800-FLOWERS wanted me to share this special 15% off discount code with all of you: SPOTAMOM

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Stitches

I can't sew but I sure can make a beautiful baby.

(and there's always etsy.)

I found this dress at ManiMina.

I find this little girl more special every day.

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Crunch Crunch

So, how "crunchy" am I?

There's definitely more crunch in my step than there used to be, but it's mainly because I've done a lot of research, lived life as a parent, and have deep desires to do things the way we do them now.

To some people I'm over the top. To others, I have a lot left to climb.

We had a homebirth. One of the best decisions we ever made! But do I think that everyone must have a homebirth now? Nope. Only if it's your kinda thing.

We co-sleep. Right now it's just with the two youngest. It's something we just go with the flow right now and it just works for us. Right now.

We wear our babies. We're more likely to wear Ivy in a baby carrier than put her in a swing or bouncy seat, but we do have those things. Because there are times that they are handy! But mostly we would rather keep her close, at a higher altitude so that she can learn more about the real world around her. And let's face it, because she just wants to be held.

I breastfeed my babies for a long time. I nursed Gray until he was two and a half (and I was pregnant some of that time) and I plan to nurse Ivy until she and I decide together that it is time to stop. We will do it as long as we both find it pleasant and natural and a happy experience.


We cloth diaper. Came in late to this, but looooove it. Look!


Who takes photo of diapers? People that cloth diaper. This is an example of what I just folded out of the laundry- we use mostly Bum Genius, and the occasional Whisper Wrap and Thirsties with unbleached Indian pre-folds, and some new organic GroBaby diapers (the dark purple ones on top).

We see a Natural MD & pediatrician. We will see regular doctors if necessary. But thankfully, it isn't often necessary.

We don't vaccinate. No exceptions. (If you think this is irresponsible, please don't assume you know our story. Because we have a story. I just don't feel like going into it here on this nice day.)

We distill our own water. (But I've been known to enjoy a tasty cold Coca-Cola Classic or Dr. Pepper now and then.)


We use natural cleaning and health & beauty products. Our favorites are Method, Seventh Generation, Maggie's Soapnuts, The Keeper, and California Baby. My favorite eye shadows and blushes are from Alima Pure.


We have cloth grocery bags. (Well, who doesn't, these days?) I've been really slacking off in using them consistently, though.

It's taken years to get even here. There's so much more I'd love to do. I want to be a full-time vegetarian or maybe vegan again. I want a garden. I'd like to compost. I wish I knew how to make our own clothes and only buy used or strictly freecycle.




And I admit that my boys are much too familiar with those famous golden arches. Hey- we're real. It's all about making good choices most of the time, and everything in moderation.

The great thing is that we have the freedom to choose what that moderation means for ourselves and our family. No matter how crunchy or chewy or soggy that may be.


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Seven Months Of Ivy

Seven months ago today, I gave birth to Ivy. In my bedroom.


A GIRL!

A DIVA!

I know every part of you.


Better than I know myself.


And even when you're sleeping (like here when Daddy was "watching" you)

I can not get enough.

From your head down to your toes...


You're too good to be true, but you are. You are true, my Ivy LaRue.


1st and "tutu" photos by Beth Fletcher Photography.

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Girl, Put Your Purple On

We are wearing purple today for Madeline Alice Spohr.

On April 26 we are honored to join Team James & Jake and will walk with our dear friends in honor of their sweet twin boys, and more, including precious Maddie.

There will be love, and remembrance, faith... and I am sure there will be purple.

If you have a dollar to spare, please consider supporting us. Have the means (like legs or wheels? and you live nearby?) join our team!

Much hugs and purples today.


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The Fountain Of Youth

My Mommal, Iva Ruth and my daughter, Ivy LaRue.

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The Imperfectionist

We left my in-laws' house after an early Easter celebration. My wonderful Mother-in-law cooked a perfect meal and my children would only eat bread and large knifings of butter. And then cried for ice cream and popsicles.

Every single time we go over there, they do not eat. They just whine and beg to get down and when's dessert? and whine whine whine.

Do they ever eat?

Yes- at home! at restaurants! at school! at my parents' house! THEY EAT! I PROMISE YOU.

But here, where we would like to appear somewhat like good parents? As they scuffle and hit each other at the nice dining table? With cloth napkins and gold napkin rings. They turn into little people I do not know and my heart goes into a panic that OH MY GOSH WHAT IF THIS IS WHAT THEY ARE REALLY LIKE?

What if these ARE the children I've created. What if this IS the behavior that I've instilled in them with my awesome parenting skillz? What if this is IT?

What if there are no take-backs?

OMG.

We get home, arms full of leftovers, and at dinner time the kids eat. They eat the very things they refused to eat at Grandma and Grandpa's.

They sit and talk respectfully to each other. There is no whining here. They are happy! And I almost grab my Flip as proof to show the in-laws.

Well, Gray still stomps and pouts and demands A FORK! for his ice cream instead of a spoon.

(Of course I rewarded their awful actions today with ice cream- what kind of Mother do you think I am?)

*Nervous laugh*

Please don't answer that.

*****************************************************************************

I wrote the above and then shuffled the kids off to get ready for bed. They washed their faces and brushed their teeth after only one asking.

I beat the world 8 castle of Super Mario Bros. on the DS for them and earned the title of Bestest Mommy and Mario Player Ever. They made Ivy laugh. We talked about Easter and what it means...

In their own words:

Like how I wasn't good at Grandma's today? And wanted that chocolate popsicle?

Like how I cried? And we were a little bad?

God gave his only son for us, because we aren't good sometimes. He's the only perfect one. We aren't.

My heart beats fast and I am so proud of these children. They aren't perfect. And neither am I.

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Good And Plenty

The boy.

The goof.

The this shirt is too chokey.


The princess.

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So That I'm Not The Last Mommy Blogger Without One

I do not have a laptop.

I want to win a one.

If you would be so kind, please go to my profile in the Mom Logic community and nominate me- I think you just have to write on my wall there and say that you nominate me. (And I do think you have to join the community but it's like super-easy-takes-two-seconds-kind-of-easy and of course you'll do it for me, right?) OH- and you can only nominate one person (me). That's the rules- for real.

I think that's it?

And if I get enough nominations, I will then be considered for the grand prize of a new laptop.

That I want very much to win.


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How You Wear

This was my favorite babywearing photo of the week, taken by Jon at Hallmark. I love Ivy's hand there, holding on. My little koala.

Today I encourage you to link up your babywearing posts here. Can be letting us know when and where you wear your baby, your favorite sling or photo this week- even one you posted in the past! A tip, a question, whatever you'd like to link up about babywearing.

If you can, please link back to this post here so that others can link up and visit everyone, too.


For fun, I'll choose one person from the links at random this weekend to win a copy of the new book by Attachment Parenting International co-founders Barbara Nicholson and Lysa Parker- Attached at The Heart!


I am wearing Ivy in a black silk mei tai by Bronwen Handcrafted (one I bought with my own saved up money!)






P.S. While you are here, would you mind voting for Ivy? There's a little contest she's in- she's number 4.

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Be Well

A few weeks ago I was devastated to find out that my beloved midwife Lynda was suddenly diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer.

It was the same week that I really finally decided to do something about my own well-being. I was on track to a whole healthier life plan of eating and drinking and exercising not only for a better body, but mainly a better mind. If the sun is going to take its sweet time coming out, then I have to find another way for some energy.

It was perfect timing, then, that I was invited to join and write about the BeeWell Miles campaign. I was sent this nifty pedometer in the mail by Bumble Bee Foods and for each mile I log onto BeeWellMiles.com, 15 cents is donated to the Breast Cancer Network of Strength.


Now, most of my steps are from going up and down two flights of stairs while I do laundry and chase children all day and night long. But I also have committed to doing Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred and have a goal of making it to the treadmill by the end of each day, for at least some amount of time. (Walking, not running. Me, run? That is funny.)


Today I fought it- I really really really re-heaaaallly wanted to take a nap instead of do pushups and jumping jacks but, I pressed through and am SO GLAD I DID.

I'm doing this for me, and as I log my miles, I'm personally doing this for Lynda. If you join in, I'm "AdventuresInBabywearing" in the community at BeeWellMiles. There's also other resources like healthy living experts, calorie calculators, and all that fun stuff including 15,000 prizes to be won.

I know that when I am active and focused on a healthier lifestyle, I FEEL better inside and out. I just have to get myself to that starting line. And then sticking with it. If you have any tips or suggestions or even just your good thoughts to help me stay on track, send them my way.

And please keep Lynda in your hearts and prayers. She has touched more lives than any amount of miles I could ever run walk in a hundred lifetimes.




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Cameradelic

My You Capture this week is all about the FUN I have been having with my new camera. And I love it, because, look at this bathtime photo... you can see, like, the peachy fuzz on Ivy's sweet skin! Oh, the detail!


And an awesome artsy structure thingy in the lobby of the Hyatt at Crown Center in Kansas City:


HOW FUN are these chandeliers at Hallmark?


While you're here, please also see the photo I took yesterday of my new bracelet, with a special message.


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Be Still

I wanted to share with you what I finally chose from Lisa Leonard Designs. I absolutely love it so much. It is to be a reminder to me, for many things.



Today, hearts are still, the air is fragile all around, as we keep the Spohr family and their darling Madeline Alice in our deepest thoughts and most fervent prayers.

Jewels In My Crown

I'm home and that feels good. I left Hallmark thinking about many different things. Something that stuck with me was that it is a company that operates from the heart, for the heart, and measures everything against being judged not for its great gains...

but for its gifts.

I allow myself the occasional "what if" daydream. In another life, another day, I could totally see myself working there, writing cards and inspiring thoughts and fulfilling my life with meaningful occupation.

In this life, in this day, right here, for me, in this now...

I am. And I am filled to the brim.

Also, you really should buy more cards, bring back writing BY HAND and send them in the mail (like with a stamp and you put it in your mailbox.) Hallmark did not tell me to tell you that. I thought it all up on my own!

Another big thing I learned is that I totally need to cut my bangs.


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Pretty Bird

I'm attempting a post from my iPhone before I hit the hay. Hallmark has us staying at an awesome Hyatt- our room is so nice. I am having memories of about 1 year ago when I was at the Disney Mom Blogger event and Ivy was just a rumbly in my tumbly- we'd yet to know she was a she. I was lying in bed in the big hotel room all to myself just talking to her inside there. And now here she is one year later sleeping soundly on the outside of me. Pinch pinch.

Today at the airport Ivy's thing was to find the one person NOT paying attention to her, and then she would do everything she could, all cockatiel head bouncy and flirty, until yet again she was the center of even that person's universe.

A family was taking pictures near us at the gate and they said Cheese! and Ivy whipped her head around and looked for the camera. She's fierce.

I'm excited for what's to come tomorrow.

Figuratively and literally.

We Went To The Mall And Ended Up In Michigan!

I had a last-minute shoe buying emergency before my trip tomorrow and took Arianne along for the ride. We ended up in Michigan. (Not on purpose.)

We found our way back and also found the shoes (Aldo, you never let me down!) and I hope I don't regret this but for the first time ever I am taking only this ONE PAIR on my trip. I've packed 3 pairs for Ivy.

I thought you might want to see them and- OH!- the snow that just happens to be falling Right Now.


On Tuesday morning I get to meet all sorts of neat people at the Hallmark Headquarters in Kansas City and they are curious about what you think about stuff, too. I am going to refer to the comments here and will post about it when I get back.

I'll link you and blog the answers- and I hear that I'll have some goodies to share and giveaway, too.

Do you have any card stories to share or questions you'd like me to ask the Hallmark folks? Can be totally normal or crazy off-the wall. I'll ask it!


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