There hasn't been a moment to sit still. I made dozens and dozens and dozens of cookies and truffles for teacher gifts and finished my Christmas shopping (all online of course, mostly at etsy)
and freecycled some things and picked up some things from freecycle and I'm involved in the auction (that ends today) and finalization of the Triathlon
and a ton of other things I can't even tell you about yet and, oh, fit in being a Mom and writer so I've been staying up past 2 a.m. every night to sit at my computer and work in the fabulous quiet of my house.
2 a.m. is actually quite beautiful when everyone else is fast asleep. I'm a little addicted to it.
There's so much to be done. There's so much chaos around me.
But I feel calm.
The kids busy themselves without me while I'm elbow deep in powdered sugar. So I spy and find them doing really sweet things like playing nicely together, or making up a new game or planning a new adventure in the bunk beds
realize that it's not the moments they are on display for everyone to see, like when we meet new people, when we're walking into church, or in line at the grocery store. Their behavior in those times is not a reflection of my parenting (or shortcomings as a Mother).
It's these very moments, the ones when no one is watching. When you can see right in the window to what's true in their hearts and intentions, open and wide.
I peek and I beam and stifle teary giggles
burst with love.
[And I think, I'm doing okay at this. ]
This is good.
This is really good.