It was small, still a child's.
I tried to act like it was nothing, looking out of the corner of my eye.
I felt little butterflies inside, this kinda feels like the first time a boy ever held my hand. The magic. The wonder.
As he grows taller, past my shoulder. His legs never ending and skin and awkwardness and smiles and teeth. I try to suppress thoughts of me ever not being enough for him. Of me ever embarrassing him, of me being his MOM.
We are about to walk into a school event and he's taken my hand. He doesn't care. I squeeze it tight. I never want to let go.
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I don't know why but this made me cry.
ReplyDelete:)
Sniff Sniff...try to never let go.
ReplyDeleteso sweet! Made me cry this morning (oh the joy of those crazy pregnancy hormones!!!)
ReplyDeleteThey do grow so fast! Thanks for sharing!!!
Renee
Awww, so sweet and true. I feel the same about my 8 year old son.
ReplyDeleteI cried too --because it is beautiful!
ReplyDeleteAh, I feel this in my heart. So sweetly written.
ReplyDelete-elizabeth
Beautiful! How these little people capture us!
ReplyDeleteoh, i can feel this. beautiful.
ReplyDeleteOh, so beautiful.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful thoughts. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteOh my. My oldest is 8, too. I have these thoughts often. He already doesn't like "needing" anything from me in public. :(
ReplyDeleteOh...this left me in tears! I just snuggled my son to sleep for an earlier-than-typical nap, and was thinking about how I cherish these moments...all too soon he'll be too grown up to want to snuggle!
ReplyDeleteoh gosh, now i'm a weepy mess...
ReplyDeletethis brought tears to my eyes and tenderness to my heart. my oldest is nine and i have felt the same feelings you have expressed in this post! thank you for sharing!
ReplyDeletePass the tissue box please!
ReplyDeleteThat was beautiful.
Oh the tears. Oh the sad sweet salty happy tears.
ReplyDeleteNell
omg, the tears!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful Steph!
This touched my heart. I'm holding on tight too. :-)
ReplyDeleteTears! I totally feel that way. This stage is such an in-between. Still really needing us but also craving independence. I love this age, though. I love every age! So much new and different.
ReplyDeleteI cried too. My little guy will be 2 next week. I try to take a picute in my mind every time he takes my hand.
ReplyDeleteWaaa- you made me teary!!! :)
ReplyDeleteI have a 10 year old and there are times where he's just my Nick and not 10 year old Nick... during those times he will hug me or jump in bed like he used to! Its a great feeling.
ReplyDeletebeautiful!
ReplyDeletesob!
ReplyDeleteGasp, beautifully written... May there be many more school events in your immediate future!!! Hope you and your family have a great Thanksgiving together.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful :)
ReplyDelete8-year-olds are fabulous. Truly, truly fabulous. Although, in honesty, the idea of having an 8-year-old of my own feels vaguely alarming, and it will be here before I know it. I can see why you would never want to let go.
ReplyDeletethis made me cry because i totally know this moment. fortunately, i still get to experience it for a little while longer - and hopefully forever!
ReplyDeleteso sweet and hope I have the moment with my little man when he is 8. Can't even imagine him 8! Enjoy every moment mama!!!
ReplyDeleteI know just how you feel.
ReplyDeletegoosebumps.
ReplyDeletecan't wait to meet you in real life.
ps - also huge thanks for all you did to make cupcake 10 happen :)
ReplyDeleteLove this, I feel the same for my now 9 year old son...
ReplyDeleteJust had to stop by and say I'M SO FREAKIN" EXCITED ABOUT CUPCAKE '10!!! Hi I'm Heather's neighbor Susan :)
ReplyDeleteAdd me to your list of criers! My son is 10. 2 1/2 years till the teens. 5 years and he can drive. We conflict at times, but now I know to give him a hug, hold him, and look him in the eye. He softens. My little boy is still there, loving his mom.
ReplyDeleteMy eight-year-old is the same way. She'll still hold my hand as we walk back and forth to school. She doesn't know that embarrassment of "Mom." I'm still just Mommy to her.
ReplyDeleteI know it won't always be this way. But I sure do treasure it.
This made me all teary eyed. I am so not ready for my babies to grow up.
ReplyDeleteI can't wait to finally meet you at CUPCAKE '10.
Bri
Sigh... I can feel my eldest finally pulling away. I'm still "Mommy" and not "Mom" but even that change is on the horizon. I can feel it...
ReplyDeleteMy 10-year-old still unashamedly holds my hand. I LOVE IT. :-)
ReplyDeleteSo sweet. So succinct. So you.
ReplyDeleteThanks for making me pause and remember that these moments won't last forever.
stephanie@metropolitanmama.net
That was very touching. The future is always a scary place to think about.
ReplyDeletegoosebumps. tears. just about the sweetest thing i've ever read.
ReplyDelete