Pains in my heart for unknown things. To be revealed some time to be sure not worth the worry.
I want to do so much. SO much. And I'm not even talking about great things like traveling the world or feeding the hungry. I want to do my dishes. I want to mop my floor. I want to MAKE MY BED for heaven's sake.
In a way, it's nice that I am stuck here at my computer chair with a sleeping baby on my chest. I can't remember the last time she slept on me like this. So I kiss her head and plow through weeks of unanswered emails.
Part of the chair is digging into my back and it feels kinda good. I had an ache there.
The older boys will be home soon and I have nothing to show for my day. While I cleaned up one mess, two more were made. The cycle is really getting to me this week. I want out.
And I shame myself, shame shame. How rotten of me to complain.
It's a common struggle, I know I am not alone. But that doesn't make it any easier to bear.
At least not today.
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