I can get this way.
It feels like a fall day and I go inward and deep and as quickly as I open myself up I close the shutters tight.
Things are okay here. For now, just okay. .
Today Gray was upset I wouldn't let him watch something on the TV and he said you are my worst enemy! And I thought about how just moments before we were talking about how fun it will be to go see the dinosaur bones at the museum on Friday and maybe the zoo next week and how can he not like me so much?
Within minutes he was professing his love for me, and I sit here wondering if he treats me this way because this is how I treat myself?
I want off this yo-yo.
As a writer, I am held captive by words. Sometimes paralyzed by my own thoughts. I think until I can get myself to "more than okay", I need to be nourished and healed and set free by Someone Else's Word.
Things are okay here. For now, just okay. But with promise.
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