I never imagined it would be like this.
Before blogging, I worked for my father-in-law a few hours a week for several years. Mostly at home and in his office on Saturday mornings. When he brought his business home over a year ago and no longer needed my help, I was very thankful that ads on my blog and writing gigs filled in for that loss of income.
It's hard carving out the time to get all the writing and editing done, but it gets done (in the bathroom, at the zoo on my
I catch myself thinking about when the kids are a bit older, when I'm no longer breastfeeding, and the opportunities that I might have then. I've had to say no to quite a few cool things lately and it's bittersweet. Part of me really likes the trips and the flying to new places and the special treatments bloggers sometimes get. But the other part of me remembers my business model isn't set up for such things, my children are an integral part of my "office". It's stressful to plan their caregiving for me to leave even one or two days. And they need me.
Now that Ivy is one, I wonder what people think when I say I can't leave my baby because we're still nursing. Do they expect me to leave her more easily now that she is one? Because many people assume you only breastfeed up until age one? It's not like I am concerned what other people think, but it's just there.
It's an odd position to be in. Knowing that in this blogging tweeting world, if you get one day or one event or conference behind, you're eating the dust of those ahead of you. It can take a while to catch up, and some won't make it.
But in reality, in reality, the Internet will probably still be here tomorrow or in two years. Forget page views and ad impressions. My children? They are changing and growing and impressioned with every single blink of my eyes. I don't want to get behind on their life, my life, because I don't know if I can ever catch up.
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