I'm dressed in a black tee, my comfy black gauchos that are finally too big on me but I am still wearing them, pulling them up every time I stand, and black flip flops. It's my normal uniform but not what I'd usually wear outside of the house as it is pretty much pajamas. At least I am wearing undergarments.
I've burrowed into a two-person booth at Panera Bread so that I can get some work done and possibly summon my sanity to GET IT TOGETHER.
I started to hear the sound of a hundred old corroded rubberbands crackling as they were pulled, even ever so gently today, within my mind. Throughout my entire body crickcrack-lesnap.
The kids have been sick, I was sick, then we were all well. Then last night I had just gotten deep into a sleep that was hugging me so tight in a warm cozy blanket and you know... the kid in the TOP BUNK who was JUST SICK EXACTLY ONE WEEK AGO was sick again. This time he really outdid himself his pillowcase went straight into the garbage.
I bathed him. I loved him. I washed his hair even though it was disgusting and I smiled and caressed him. I made him sleep in the hallway by the bathroom.
I washed his bedding. I felt sorry for myself. I went to bed.
This morning I cleaned and did more laundry and decided I was going to leave! I had to get out of there! I nursed the baby and should have left then when she went down for her nap but I did more laundry and straightened up and then it was lunch time and I fed people and when she woke up I fed her and then it was clean up time and I can't leave all those dishes in the sink.
I will make my escape after I do all the dishes, I promised myself.
I showed those dishes who's boss.
I am savoring this frozen caramel drink that's pretty good. All I care is that it has whipped cream and this really huge straw. I am setting up my Real Moms Guide account, joining the community there, as part of my new position.
Things have been so tight sotight, as I know it is for everyone right now. I'm feeling guilty about buying this chocolate pastry. So guilty I might need to go up and get another one. We've actually been trying to think of ways I could go out and get a part time job without having to wean Ivy. In a flurry blur of morning events yesterday I got a job. Writing for the Real Moms Guide starting like, now.
I know- another community to join and register for... but there are articles there (that I'll be writing!) and it's also a way for you to express yourself and offer or seek advice apart from Twitter or your blog or Facebook, keeping it from the eyes you might not want to see it (like your in-laws or "friends") and hopefully away from the drama.
I'm just starting out right now, joining the groups and such, and I think you can submit stories of your own to be featured and stuff. So if that's your kind of thing, make your way over there and find me (I'm AdventuresInBabywearing). I'll let you know when my articles are published, too.
The restaurant has cleared out immensely and I am tempted to crawl into the booth across from me and take a nap. But I have to go to Target and get more laundry detergent. And I'll probably pick up something easy there to make dinner for the kids. And then feed them. And then clean the kitchen. And then put them to bed and you know what, it isn't feeling all that overwhelming to me now.
I need to step outside more.
It's all going to be ok. And I'll take another chocolate pastry to go, please.
edit: PS I added a Babywearing Moms group at RMG and that would be a great place to ask me your babywearing questions!
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