July 2, 2009

Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty...

I was so angry.

I had just gotten Ivy to sleep and the boys woke her up from how loud they were yelling and screaming OUTSIDE.

Scooping her up from my bed, I stormed down the stairs and gave her to Daddy so that I could run back upstairs with a mean mom face to punish the boys with an early bedtime.

All that time spent getting her to sleep, wasted. And when I was done it wasn't like I had time for myself or something fun to do. Nooo. I had a kitchen to clean up and things to put away and the garbage was full and so I let cabinets slam shut and moved about all loudly.

I took so many deep breaths I almost passed out.

Hurrying to get another load of laundry going before Ivy needed me again, my swift motions knocked down a lamp in the doorway and its glass shade broke in a bunch of pieces on the cold basement floor. I got angry about that- now I had to clean THAT up and it wasn't even something I broke on purpose or could have the joy of breaking.

I only had the joy of using my broom for the fiftieth time that day.

I heard the back door close and thought who is out of bed?! I rushed to find out it was just hubby, taking Ivy outside while he practiced his golf swing. He called to me and I huffily responded, What?

He pointed into the yard, where a large mother bunny sat atop the nest that's been there a couple weeks now. She went about her business, cleaning herself, tending to the babies, not minding at all that we were just feet away from her. So we sat and we watched her.

I had heard that the mother bunny secretly keeps an eye on her nest when we're around, but we won't see her. Maybe she knew we were safe. Maybe she saw me keeping the kids from poking lightsabers at the hole. Maybe she saw me checking every morning for fur on the nest, a sign the she had come in the night.

We sat and let the baby crawl and throw golf balls around and we watched the rabbit lay over the nest... I assume she was nursing the babies underneath. She let us observe her so long that soon it was too chilly to stay outside.
I still had dishes to wash by hand and four hundred baskets of clothes to fold and put away but I was no longer angry.

We left her to be alone with her family. And went inside to ours.


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28 comments:

  1. Man, Steph, you write the stuff that I experienced the day before sometimes, it's kind of weird! Not exactly the same of course, but the anger, oh I know that anger and frustration.

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  2. This got my teary eyed. I know how you feel somedays!

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  3. I had one of those days 2 days ago. Seth actually said to my Mom, "Meemaw, I wish my Mom didn't yell like you don't yell". Ouch.
    It is hard when we have so much to do and never enough time to do it. Our work is never done...oh, and I SO understand the anger and frustration when the baby gets woken up. That happens WAAAAAY too often at my house.
    Glad you had a bunny moment though to remember you're not alone :)

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  4. What a sweet moment! It's always nice to be brought back to the present. I can SO relate to that kind of anger.

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  5. Isn't it amazing how something small like that can turn our whole attitude around? I definitely know exactly where you are coming from on this one... slow to anger, a constant battle I fight!

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  6. Good for you.

    And the lamp... man that sucks.

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  7. it made me teary :) such a nice moment. It hapens so often that you are angry and realise that its no use after all they didnt wake her up on purpose and she took long to sleep coz she didnt really want to sleep but we look at what we need to do and get upset that it cant be done... how silly we are to get angry over silly things...our family can't wait but the dishes and clothes can! :) hope u pass a good weekend

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  8. Beautiful story! I love how sometimes when we are the most aggravated with our lives as mothers and feeling under appreciated all it takes is a glance at mother nature to realize we are not alone. It always makes me so happy to see a robin on her next or baby ducks at the pond following behind their mom. Life is never simple but it is amazing.

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  9. You have those feelings, too? Glad it isn't just me. And it's nice that the sweet Mommy bunny and her brood shifted your mood.

    HUGS!

    Nell

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  10. Sigh... I'm glad you were able to move through the anger. I KNOW that anger. I know that seething fury. I had resolved to do NOTHING today, to show how MAD I was and how I was NOT going to be pushed around or made to feel ridiculous. But who was that helping? I would STILL have a messy house afterwards. Messier, actually.

    A walk to the park and an extra cup of coffee and I am feeling a lot less wound up.

    Hope today brings you a few moments to yourself.

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  11. Lovely post.

    Also? Argh, so frustrating when you just get the baby to sleep only to have the baby wake up due to the noise from another child in the house when you still have a million things left to do!

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  12. Nothing makes me blow my top quite like when my older kid wakes up my baby. I so understand that anger.

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  13. This post speaks volumes to me.

    Sometimes you have just have to stop and really get some perspective from an outside source.

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  14. Oh, I've been there too. Had a salesman ring my doorbell 3 (3!) times a few weeks ago, minutes after my son was down for his nap. I wanted to throw something through the screen door at him, I was SO angry. I've been there, too.
    I'm glad life offered you up a different kind of moment to pull you out of your frustration, though. We all need more of those kinds of moments, and less of the hair-tearing kind!

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  15. This spoke to me, too. I really sensed the peace at the end. Beautiful.

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  16. I totally get this.

    A couple times I've given in when Gretchen wakes up at some ungodly hour because of, say, drunks outside screaming and setting of fireworks (happy canada day!!). I'll just snuggle her, or feed her again and just spend time together. One night of sleep disruption does not a problem make.

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  17. I can't wait to see pictures of little baby bunnies hopping around your hard. :)

    Thanks for this reminder today...as I sit here in the car totally angry at the boys for waking the baby...

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  18. Now my eyes are getting all watery. I get so irritated sometimes too and act really ugly about it, and I only have one kid (until next month sometime). It's things going wrong while I'm cleaning that make me maddest, because gosh, I'm really TRYING here! I always feel bad after things have blown over, but it's so hard to remember when I'm in the middle of a mess that anger will only make things worse.

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  19. I hear you! I had one of these days the other day and it is not fun. It seems like one thing makes me angry and it snowballs from there. I hate that I feel that way, but after reading your post it is good to know I'm not the only one. I'm soooo sorry you had to deal with this kind of day though. Good for you for taking the time to just sit and be still enjoying nature. Hopefully it refreshed you enough to tackle the loads of laundry and dishes!!

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  20. gosh, i feel like you stole one of my posts that is in my drafts folder! ;) so sounds like me and my life. thanks for sharing and giving me the encouragement to be as real as you. i totally understand what you went through. isn't so awesome that another creation of God's could put things into perspective - He knows right where to get us, huh?

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  21. Been here so many times... *hugs* to you. I love how the quietness of nature can make us stop and see the big picture!

    Hope you got things done!!

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  22. Yes, I know exactly how you feel. Some days I feel like I'm constantly "shhhh"ing my four year old. "Shhhhhh, you'll wake Kam!" And the anger I feel when someone does wake her up after I've just.gotten.her.to.sleep. I know that feeling well. I want my girls to have good memories of every childhood moment. I often wonder what I'm teaching them when I get so frustrated.

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  23. Amazing how the simplest things about God's nature make us gain new perspective! This was a great reminder for all of us! Thank you.

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  24. I know exactly how you feel...I have been having a lot of those days lately. It's comforting to know I'm not the only one!

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  25. You are such a great writer! I feel like I was there with you when all of this was happening or I could picture it happening to me.

    Beautiful job.

    Jenn

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  26. I love your stories, Steph! Always learning or re-learning something from them... :)

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  27. Beautiful post.

    It reminded me of days that I sometimes have.

    And it reminded me to be slow to anger and quick to celebrate the simple pleasures in life.

    Thank you.

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  28. Boy is this sure a familiar feeling. You write it so well. Thank you!

    ~Shaye

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