June 8, 2009

Are We Done Yet?

So, am I going to have any more kids?

I am asked about it almost daily. And if it's not actually said, come on, I'm a Mom: I read minds. I see you people thinking it.

Now that you've got your girl...


How many is too many anyway? It's been unofficially determined among friends that apparently any more than two children is "thought" to be too many, by most.

Quick answer? This is probably it.

But, hubby isn't going to be sitting on a bag of frozen peas anytime soon.

It's not like we just happened to have this many kids on accident. We enjoy having a big(ger) family.

When Noah was so sick and we were consumed with his diet and all that went with it, I couldn't imagine us having another baby. But at about the very same moment a little while later, we changed our minds together. And I don't want to know what life would be like without my Gray and Ivy.

There are days, many many days, when I am so tired from all that goes on in this house and I don't know which end is up. I'm a shoe-tier, a ball in the street retriever, a butt-wiper, and a chew toy. I can't imagine adding a fifth child to this already mixed up mix.


But, who knows what life will look and taste like in a year or two or seven? We don't know what God might have planned for our hearts regarding the inhabitants of our home.

If you have more than two kids or would like a better understanding of those of us that do, I have found the book A Sane Woman's Guide to Raising A Large Family by Mary Ostyn to be quite helpful and encouraging. You might know Mary from her wonderful blog Owlhaven (and if you aren't familiar with her, get familiar. Oh, and she has ten kids.)

Her book is not why I am writing about this today. She is actually a friend of mine and sent me a copy a while ago, and I thought this topic was a good time to mention her book. When I first started reading it, it was like taking a big deep breath. I could relate. And she had realistic answers to my questions about our "large" family and how to maintain our sanity whether we get larger or not. And I felt hopeful.

She writes just like her gentle voice sounds, and it brings peace to this worn and threadbare mother's heart. [Sidenote: I also appreciate it when I read parenting books with a Christian foundation that don't frown upon co-sleeping with the little ones.]

While I do think we are "done", both hubby and I don't want to close the door completely. We have had a change of heart before... what if we do again someday?

This very moment, with my three boys and one girl, I do feel complete as a family of six. I cherished every millisecond of my last pregnancy and got to have my home birth like I wished. I definitely feel like if we are done, I have no regrets.

But, I occasionally have the daydream of having a bit more money, moving to a bigger house, or getting creative with the playroom and basement, or wondering how precious it would be to see Ivy as a big sister.


Like most things in life, I guess this question is best answered: We'll seeeee. Or, stay tuned. (But we're probably done.) To be continued...

(But we're probably done.)


Mary has offered to give away a copy of her book to one of you. If you'd like to enter to win, please leave a comment below letting me know. I'll choose one winner at random from the comments sometime after 11:59 pm this Thursday June 10.


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By Stephanie Precourt, Adventures In Babywearing - 5:43 PM
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128 comments:

  1. I think what ever lies in your hearts in the future is the best answer for you and Jeff.

    and that's just fine, done or not done you'll know just how complete your family will be one day.

    :D
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  2. You have a beautiful family.
    I'd love another child, but I don't think my body would be up to going through another pregnancy. If we win the lottery, we would try to adopt a child ... but it's so expensive and there is so much red-tape to it. Still, it's something that is in the back of our minds.
    No matter what, I feel so blessed to have my kids. They opened up my world!
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  3. Love it! We too want a large family (whatever that means...) and with our first two "so close in age" (16 months) people can't believe we'd even dream of having more - but we can't wait.

    If I don't win, I'm so buying this book - off to blog stalk now! ;-)

    thanks!
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  4. My husband is the oldest of 11. It's a wonderful thing. I'm a mom of two young ones. I hope the Lord blesses us with more. You are blessed with yours!
    I'd love to win that book. Sometimes I wonder how I'll make it through a day with just two. But the Lord is teaching me so much. It's great to be encouraged by other mothers who've been there... are there.
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  5. Love your post and I would love a chance to win the book and read it! <3

    I'm in the same spot... think we're done but neither of us is done enough to have our bodies modified. And I will never forget my parent's regret when my youngest brother died. Not that another child would have replaced him, not at all. But...
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  6. It's funny because I was just going to email you and ask if you wanted your maternity clothes back right away, or if you wanted me to just store them for if/when you needed them again.
    Your family is beautiful as is, but if you do decide to add to it, I'm certain that it will be exactly what is right for you at that time. And I'm certain he/she will be just as beautiful as the other four.
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  7. I appreciated your post today. We have 3 children and often get the "you must be done now" comment and/or look. We don't know...

    I am also interested in the book you mentioned. When we were expecting our first child we were taught all things "Ezzo" (Growing Kids God's Way) in our church. Not knowing any different this is what we followed. Looking back I am somewhat disappointed with the snuggles I missed out on with Gavin in the name of "biblical parenting". Thank goodness for second and third chances for us to do things differently with our other children, while still teaching them to love and follow Jesus.
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  8. Mom of three under three here and open to as many more, God willing. I know others question our sanity, but we never have. (Well, almost never...)
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  9. People ask us ALL.THE.TIME. While we're pretty sure this is it, neither of us has 'sealed the deal'. Makes you wish you could just refer them to this post instead of answer, doesn't it? ;)

    I must say, I absolutely ADORE that last picture - Ivy is SUCH a stinker, isn't she!!

    The boys have gotten SO tall!
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  10. I'll admit, I was wondering :) We have always wanted a big(ger) family, as well. My husband and I both grew up in families with four kids (ironically, both with three girls and one boy!) and we loved it. I've been meaning to pick up Mary's book on Amazon ever since I got pregnant this time!
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  11. I'm one of 4, and G is one of 5 (between both parents). When I was younger I wanted a dozen, when we got married we wanted 5, and now? Now we are wanting to have 2, but are open to adopting before, in the middle, or after. A lot of our choice is financial, but also just our hearts. We figure as long as we feel we have more love to give, we'll add to it. We've even talked about raising a couple and then adopting more when those are in high school. Yay for big families! And that book sounds great (I looked it up on Amazon).
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  12. I'd love a chance to read the book! We're not sure if we are done either. Such a hard decision.
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  13. I'd love to win a copy of this book!!

    People are so funny abt gender. We always planned on 4 kids, options open for more. We have 3 boys and we hear ALL THE TIME about how we have to try for a girl. We'll try for a child and love whoever it is. Most people we know assume that #3 is a mistake - one that we should remedy immediately by preventing more. Society is so weird!
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  14. You have a beautiful family - real cuties!! I often wonder when I will feel complete too - I have 2 but want more, although very nervous about "starting all over again". Anyway, would love to be entered for the book!
    Thanks,
    Maria @BoredMommy
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  15. Although we only have one child now, we do dream of having a large family. I'd love to win the book. Thanks for the beautiful post. :)
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  16. I get it all the time too! I have (only) three in opposite order. Two girls and NOW I have my boy ;) he carries on the family name so we don't NEED to have more. And I felt the same with my last pregnancy. But I'm still young and I just don't know sometimes! He sure seems like he's my last baby ;)
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  17. I dont know how you do it, im tired and i only have 2! i keep going back and forth about wanting/having a third..
    I'd love to win the book!
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  18. Your family is precious. So far, we have been blessed with three, ages 6, 4,and 2. We are looking forward to receiving the children God sends us. I would love to win a copy of the book! Thank you so much for hosting this giveaway.
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  19. I read about this book awgile back...but alas didn't buy it...I would so love to get my hands on a copy! I also know what ya'll are feeling..we just had that 5th child and I am telling you, even with the sweetie that he is...I am so blessedly busy! Sometimes happily...always lovingly! Steph, you kiddos are beautiful, and I really enjoy your blog!
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  20. I really liked what you said in this blog post, and I would love a copy of the book. I'm pregnant with my 3rd child and most people find it to be "too much." I lost my mother 5 years ago tomorrow to a really aggressive cancer. I think she is very proud for the family my husband and I have created. I was an only child (by circumstance, not choice), and I find it to be such a miracle to see the real blessing that it is to have siblings to help carry you in this world. Thanks for sharing!
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  21. I always thought I wanted three and only three. Four seemed like so many. But now that number three is almost here (referred a girl - TODAY) we kind of joke about a fourth. We feel complete at three that is the way we both invision our family but we are not closing the door yet either. And it has nothing to do with having a boy and (two) girls. I would love to read that book, so yes please enter me. Does three count as a big(ger) family? :)
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  23. I'm envious of your large family. I've always wanted a large family, but it's proven very difficult for me to get pregnant. I'm so thankful for the little guy that God has blessed me with, though. (-:

    Continue on, girl! And if God blesses you with another bundle, that's HIS plan. (-;

    By the way, I'd love to be entered for the book. (-:
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  24. I come from a family of 6 kids. Do you know how many times my mom was asked if she was Catholic? I mean, isn't it okay to WANT to have a big family and do it on purpose. :) I think any number of kids is just fine. And it is okay to not exactly know what the future holds. We want 3-4, but who knows. :)
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  25. :) We hear that question all the time! We shall see, people. We shall see.

    I'll have to get a copy of that book, though-- I keep hearing good things about it.
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  26. You have a beautiful family!

    I would love to win this book! I have always wanted 3 or 4 kids and when DH and I were dating he said absolutely no more than 2. Now that we're pregnant with #2 he has made comments on several occasions about "next time" or the next baby. :)
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  27. I'd love a copy of that book. People ask us as well now that we have a boy and a girl ALL THE TIME. Frankly, it bothers me. My mom is constantly throwing comments in that allude to the fact that we don't NEED more children. It makes me sort of sad. I would like 1 or 2 more despite their efforts to sway me the other way. I would need to read that book though and have an organized plan! haha
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  28. My daughter is just 4 1/2 months old and I'm being asked when I want more -- the answer.. now?? Now!
    Is that crazy? Yes. But it's true.
    It won't happen, but SOMEDAY yes.

    I would LOVE to read that book! And I'd pass it on to my man as well :) Ha.
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  29. I could totally benefit from that book.
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  30. Oh how I'd love to win this book! Sanity seems to be missing in my life lately :-) Homeschooling and 5 kids and building a new house. Chaos at its best!

    As many other posters have told you ... you have a beautiful family! Its always bothered me why people feel they need to ask "Are you done?" I've taken to just telling them "its really up to God"
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  31. We're asked often if we'll have #4 and it's always asked because we have 3 boys - I NEVER wanted girls and was positively giddy when I found out #3 was a boy (swore he was a girl!).

    This baby factory has been shut down and its contents removed permanently. I knew our family was complete the moment I laid eyes on my sweet Henry <3

    You and your hubby make stunning children - I'd love to see another little girl come your way :)
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  32. Haha! I think I could have written this post. Now that everyone knows that I am having a girl they all assume we are done having kids. Todd has said before that 4 is his absolute limit but with recent crazy events going on in our families' and friends' lives he is starting to feel like nothing is definite. And of course, God's plan for our familiy is best.
    I am guessing we are probaby done as well, but in my mind, it is up to God. My mom thought they were done after their first two children were born. And then the third. And fourth. And fifth. And thank goodness they had a sixth or I wouldn't be here. ;)

    I would love to win that book. It sounds wonderful! :)
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  33. Yes, leaving things up to God and your heart is a beautiful thing... We've been blessed with three babes, and I can't wait to see how many the future holds for us! I MUST check out this book, as I've never heard of it before. Some days I feel as though I'm just "surviving" and fluttering along. And I just HAD to comment on your beautiful babies too! I just LOVE that little ray of sunshine next to the neutrals of black and tan! :)
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  34. You'll have peace in your heart when you know what is the answer for you. And what a great foursome if you end with Ivy. If not, then a fivesome or sixsome would be awesome, too!

    Nell
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  35. Oh and I don't know if 3 is considered large, but it is to me, so I'd love to be entered for the book.

    Nell
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  36. I want so badly to have a larger family one day. My husband and I have both expressed our feelings on how great it would be to raise a big family together, Lord providing of course. Although, I already feel like I'm raising 4 kids with a baby in the house now and three needy dogs..Ahhh! It gets crazy sometimes, but it's all so worth it!

    However, this book sounds fantastic, and I'd love to win, but even if I don't, I will most likely purchase this because it sounds so interesting!

    Thanks for sharing, great post!
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  37. Oh, I have lots to say on this topic- I love Mary at Owlhaven, she's such a neat woman. I would like to have a larger family, too - 5 to 8 kids (working on #2, my little bun in the oven right now). :) Hubby only wants 3, but I think he'll come around in time. Ivy's laughing expression is so cute in that last picture!!! :)

    As far as the Christian parenting & co-sleeping in the same book...yeah, I feel you. :) We aren't co-sleepers (if I was single, I would be, but Hubby's viewpoint is important, too), but I feel the same way about attachment parenting. Before I had my son, every 'good' Christian parent I knew told me Babywise was the way to go, but it did NOT work for my son, it was so hard. I wish I would've known that attachment parenting was OKAY for Christians before my son was born - I can't wait to do things VERY differently with my next one. I'm kind of at a soapbox viewpoint against babywise & all scheduling of young babies now, it's kind of funny how much my parenting viewpoints have changed in the last 2 years (since I actually BECAME a parent!). :) Sorry to ramble, I should've written you an email instead! :)
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  38. That last picture with Ivy smiling is adorable!!! :) And I'd totally love a copy of that book since we're planning to have a bigger family too!
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  39. Steph,
    I can totally relate to the questions. I also find myself asking other moms if they are done yet...and then I cringe because it none of my business and I know how I feel when someone does it to me. Alas, I am a nosey-Rosie! When I have a full Bradley class slate I get the belly envy going full throtle, and days without diapers and car seats do sound appealing...but even if we have another baby we'll be without the 'stuff' before I'm ready to let go of it myself. I carry my soon-to-be 3 year old in the sling for as long as my back allows because I'm just not ready to throw in the towel yet...
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  40. I'm pregnant with my fourth and due this summer. Would love to read the book. Great giveaway!
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  41. I would love a copy of this. We have one right now, but are working towards number 2 and hope to have a few more before my body says its done. The challenge of being a bit older mommy than the average...not old hen, but not spring chick either! I'd love her thoughts as it is not the norm to most people anymore.

    Your family is beautiful!
    Heather
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  42. I'd love to win a copy of the book. :)
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  43. I am dying laughing about the frozen peas. Noah and Carter look like giants. I love Ivy's expression in the last one.
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  44. I always get asked i we are done!! I love my large family ... off to check out your friends blog!
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  45. OMG, my sanity is COMPLETELY gone today. Not joking.
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  46. My daughter has 3; no. 4 is due any time and she doesn't think she is through! She needs this book!!
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  47. I get asked this question a lot too. The answer is no, we're not. And I think, strong emphasis on think, there will be just one more. Maybe. But I'm not sure.

    I would love a copy of this book!
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  48. I would absolutely love to win Mary's book. Thanks for the opportunity!
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  49. We have two right now and we are thinking we want four. People always say that is sooo many kids, but I disagree. :) I would LOVE a chance to win this book. I think your family is beautiful.
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  50. beautiful post. beautiful children. :) what you said about wondering how ivy would be as a big sister is something i often think about regarding julian (though as a brother of course). ;) i think we are probably done, but i'm not 100% sure either. ;)
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  51. Beautiful post.

    I have 2 under 2 right now, so can't imagine adding another little one to the brood, but I'm sure I'll change my mind in a few years! I'm too much of a baby lover not to!

    Bri
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  52. Steph, that was a beautiful post. You are such an eloquent writer...sometimes I feel like I'm right there with ya' in your brain. :)

    I'd love to win a copy of Mary's book and I'm sure that my hubby would appreciate it too! You see, I'm pregnant with baby #2, and oh how I despise pregnancy! When we married I wanted five kiddos and he wanted four, but lately I've been thinking that two kiddos would do just fine. Hubby continues to think otherwise, so if Mary's wisdom and perspective could inspire me to have a large family, he'd be incredibly thankful!
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  53. You know I'd love one! We're probably done too, but who knows!
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  54. great pics. i hate it when people ask me "are you done?" as tho it's a kind of accomplishment thing. i dream about another....

    i'd love to win the book, sounds like an interesting read...
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  55. I am very interested in this book. I have 3 children and hubby and I always thought 4 was a good number. When people ask us if we are done and we say no, they look at us like we are aliens. Some make comments on how our house is always full of noise and toys, but I love it and wouldn't have it any other way! I come form a small family and think the quiet is too quiet.
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  56. We were "done" with 2 and then God blessed us with one more! He was the best surprise I've ever been given. Now we are all sure we are really done!
    I love to read about other large families (that's part of why I read your blog). I can barely manage 3 but reading about larger families helps me to put my family in perspective.
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  57. My husband and I always said we wanted four until we had one then we said we wanted three but now that he is a year I'm leaning back towards four again. I just don't know how you know you are done...I think I will always long for a baby. I consider both three and four on the largish side so I would love to read that book.
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  58. I could have been done with 2 as well - God knew better :) Our family is complete, with 4, and my hubby sealed the deal - bless him! I would love to read that book, I'm off to check out her blog - thanks!
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  59. Just here to comment, no interest in a book about raising 10 kids, although I'm sure it's good :)

    Steph, I love ya, and I am sure I ask you way too much if you are done yet, but it's only because you go through those phases where you're all, four kids! Whoa! Then the next day you're all, I may not be done. You crack me up.

    Oh, and who knew there was such a thing as Christians being against attachment parenting? I sure as heck didn't. But what do I know, I'm Catholic and don't have any kids! I always thought that seemed like a cool way to parent your children, what do people see about it that's so bad?

    Just keep living life how you see fit, and only you guys know what's right. For me, I personally know I will only have one or two, but that's because financially I don't think we can honestly put more than that through college-if that! But everyone is different. I'm also at the point where if I am not able to have any, I'm also okay with that idea too. I have a pretty full life and I'm happy with things the way they are. Part of what people describe as God's plan, I think also applies to in vitro and all that stuff and so that will never be a choice for me because then it would not be part of a divine plan. Whatever happens happens, just be happy!
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  60. First let me say that I'm a new reader so I've only seen pictures of your gorgeous baby girl. What a pleasant surprise to see your gorgeous boys too! (Is there a manly version of "gorgeous"?) You really do have a beautiful family.

    I have a boy and a girl, and I get asked this same question ALL the time. I typically tell people that I'm done, and I honestly believe that right now, but who knows a year from now?? Thank goodness for reversible birth control methods!

    I'm curious about this book. I've thought about adopting, so we might end up with a house-full someday even if we don't have any more of our own. But even if we just stick with our 2, my sister-in-law is going to have at least a dozen, I'm sure of it. And she loves to read.

    Thanks for the entertaining posts, and for the giveaway. :)
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  61. I love this post, and I love your heart on mothering. It's so refreshing.

    It was the desire of my heart to have four kids, and my husband wanted five. But we never imagined getting married in our mid-30's and then we never anticipated such a severe birth injury that five months out still has us waiting for things like surgery, sex, and even the ability to walk without feeling like my bladder is going to fall out of me. So it's been kind of sad realizing that our little guy may be it, or that if we are lucky we may get one more chance to add a sibling to his world.

    But despite all of that, I KNOW God is up to something good. It's just a secret from us for now, I guess. =) And maybe that applies to you too. Maybe He will let you know if He's got more kiddos for you or if your quiver is full. In the meantime, isn't it bliss to savor and cherish the "arrows" we do have?!

    And just so you know, I so totally appreciate your heart on attachment parenting. I'm not militant about it like some moms I've read, but do feel good about not letting our wee one "cry it out", allowing him to come to our bed when he's not into hanging out in his cradle on the side of our bed, and wearing him whenever we're out or he just needs to be held at home. In our town, I've only met one other mother like that who has a child of similar age, and one mother whose children are grown. Every other mother I know is all about Babywise and other things that just break my heart. And what's harder is that they often try to connect their parenting philosophy with Christianity, and how anyone who differs from them is somehow dishonoring God or teaching their children to be selfish humans. So I often feel alone in my mothering. I was just telling my husband tonight how much I appreciated blogs like yours on days when our baby has decided to give up sleep unless he's cuddled next to me. I appreciate you because you help me not feel so alone, and I feel like I have a safe place to go where there is understanding company and a lack of judgment.

    Hope that makes sense.
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  62. I'd love to read her book.

    Also, in my city it seems that 3 is the new "normal" number of kids, which is great. But I still got several questions of what were my other 2 before the baby was born. It was assumed I had 2 children of the same sex and that was why we were having another child. We had one of each, so obviously that was not the case!
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  63. Those kids of yours look fabulous.

    I know in my heart I'm done...although it would seem that since most people think more than two kids is too many...it would also seem that they believe my stopping at one is too few...

    in the end though we all know what's right for each of us. :-)
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  64. Your kids are so cute!

    I have three boys and am pregnant with #4. On one hand, I'd love a little girl. But, like you, I feel like people would expect us to be done because we "got out girl." We're not having more babies just to have a girl. :) We might be done with 4, but we might have 1 or 2 more. I don't want people's comments to bother me, but sometimes they kinda do. But, whether we have our boy or girl we'll still have however many God has for us. :)

    And, I would love to win that book!
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  65. My third pregancy gave us our first child--and it was miserable every step of the way, I was extremely sick and developed a heart condition. I swore I was done at ONE, and then I saw those little legs and bum and instantly wanted THREE. At delivery!!! Husband still not quite convinced, he's an only and thinks a family of four will be fine, but I can't imagine stopping at two and thinking that someone's missing. Or at three, or four, or any number.

    I would love to read this book to help gain perspective, especially on the days that just one seems like a lot!
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  66. We just had our 5th, after first 3 boys, and then a girl for our 4th. It felt like most people thought we were finished because we "got our girl" with #4. Five feels good now, but like you, I don't want to close the door completely. The book sounds wonderful.
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  67. i can relate to this post 100%!! we are probably done too. we also have 4 kids- 2 boys 2 girls. and, we are not ready to make any permanent decisions either... even though we are probably done :)

    i would love to read this book! thank you for the offer!

    xo,
    erika
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  68. great post - big families are awesome. We need more of 'em!
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  69. I amthe same as you. My hubby and I have three sons and last year were blessed with a baby girl!!
    jen62728@aol.com
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  70. I was never even sure that I wanted one until I was all of a sudden desperate to have her. Now that she's here (but still quite new -- 4mo) I've caught myself thinking about more... and maybe not just one. Who knows? I might end up on the large family train.
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  71. oh steph...you know i understand that look in other's eyes. even if they don't say it, they're wondering "are they done yet?!" then they wonder, "are they going to keep trying for that boy?!" (never "trying" for a boy!)

    people look at us like we're CRAZY when they see our 4 kids under 6 and we tell them we're adding 2 more!! i refuse to put my God in a box of what i can do and what i can't. if it is His will for our family, we can do it. and i must remind myself of that everyday right now as we wade through this red tape, this paperwork, this money....He will provide.
    i do pray that i will have peace and a definite leading when it is the last time that i am to carry a baby. i just do NOT feel that yet.
    lol @ bag of frozen peas. ;)

    (i borrowed a copy of this book, but would love my own.) =)
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  72. Good grief look at all those comments! I am sure I have nothing to add!!! Except before I was married I was never having kids... I had a career!!! Then we got married and decided se7en in ten years... we had a plan!!! #1 nearly thwarted the whole plan - talk about high maintenance. Anyway as #7 arrived we looked at each other and knew - so much for plans and we are dying fir #8 to arrive! Great post - I love it and your kids are so cute!
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  73. I absolutely love the photos :)
    I´m sure I want BIG family one day and it´s so great to read your blog... :) you have wonderful family (I don´t think that 4 kids would be enough for me but.. :D )
    you´re right...you will see.... :)
    and again, I LOVE the PHOTOS ...cute!!!
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  74. We're on #3 and already getting the "Are you done yet?" looks and questions. I think family size is such a personal choice. We'll be done when God tells us we are.
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  75. I would love to win!

    Thanks,
    Michelle

    comichelle51 at hotmail dot com
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  76. I would love the book!

    And I love how you phrased your thoughts on this topic. We're on #3 right now, and people sometimes look at us like we've sprouted extra appendages when we tell them we just aren't sure that we're done. We figure we'll know when we're done... and we don't know that FOR SURE yet. Thanks for posting this.
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  77. Hi Steph - You have a beautiful family! So awesome that you're open to having another too. I would love to have a big family someday. I would love to read Mary's book too, I've heard good things about it. My mom was one of 10 kids and I always wonder how my grandma did it. Thanks for the opportunity to win!
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  78. Those are great pictures of your children!

    I am expecting my 3rd any day now and it will be our 3rd boy in 3 and half years. Let's just say we got mixed reactions when we announce this pregnancy. :)

    We have spent a lot of time in prayer and study and will trust God for the family planning. Which is a huge change from before #1 showed up. I would love any book that can help me manage the little blessings running around here all day.
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  79. My husband and I are nearly 28 and nearly 29. We are still thinking about getting started, but hopefully sooner rather than later. My sister has 5 kids (3 boys, 2 girls) and whenever we are with them my husband tells me we should have atleast five, maybe 6 just to beat them (ok, he can be a bit competitive).

    I would love to read this book and pass it on to my sister.

    Oh, and Ivy in that second photo all animated... that girl could be in pictures ;-)
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  80. I would love to win this book. At this point, we have three boys. We secretly want one more but most around us think we have a big enough family and would be crazy to want more. I have my reservations too and would love to read Mary's book, 4 kids really isn't so much compared to ten! Heehee, your family is beautiful and I hope I get my girl on my next try too!
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  81. Yes! Its so nice to see a post on this issue. I came from a family of 7 and big families are wonderful and a LOT of work :). There was a quote I read from Mother Theresa who said, "How can there be too many children? That is like saying there are too many flowers!"

    Although I do agree with the above statement, everyone has their own limit for their family. You will know in your heart :).

    I would love to be entered to win the book!
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  82. Oh man. Can I ever relate. We are pregnant with our 4th and have 3 boys. The questions are endless!!!

    I'm not sure if we are done. I can't imagine this being my last but we also want to leave the door open for adoption. Who knows. In God's hands right?

    I'd love the book. Love the pictures of your babes!
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  83. I think this is a wonderful post. I haven't decided if I want another or not, but I feel like you--I don't want to close the door completely just yet. I just recently started reading Owlhaven and I love it. Would definitely love to read this book.
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  84. A good friend just found out she was pregnant with her fifth child, and she's already getting the raised eyebrows and funny looks! I would love to win this book to give to her.

    I have several friends that have large families, and while it's not for me, I love to see how they interact, the older ones take care of the younger ones, and they are never bored!

    Another note: we have three girls and people ask us all the time, "Are you going to try for a boy?" Well... no, we're perfectly happy with the girls God has blessed us with. It's crazy!
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  85. I was so certain I wanted one...now I must admit I think about a second one all the time. More than that? Not sure I can imagine it! But kudos to you for making it work.
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  86. I loved this post. My boys are 4, 2 1/2 and 8 months old. My four year old (Grayson) asked me the other day why people always say I have my hands full!! Some days I can't imagine them being more full. On others I can see more! Grayson wants two sisters to fill out his T-ball team. :)
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  87. I have been wanting to write a post about this, but my in-laws recently found my blog and I feel funny writing, knowing that they are reading.

    We have three daughters, ages 6.5, 4.5, and 2. We always wanted 4 children, but #3 is...spirited. We feel kind of done, but I wonder if we would regret not having a fourth someday.
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  88. I'll probably buy it anyway, but I'd love to read this book. We have no.1 so far, and I'd love two, three and four. I get mocked at my mothers group for saying I want more children, "Oh, it's only because you got a perfect baby (he's not) that you're saying that. it's hell, don't do it again!" It's really depressing sometimes, but then I come here and get encouraged again, that I can do all things through Him, and that kids ARE a blessing from Him. And I can change my attitude about what happens, even if I can't change what happens.
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  89. Ohh me me. I am a mom of 8. Does that count. Sane I'm not sure? LOL
    I'de love the book if I win.

    www.homeschoolblogger.com/PrairieLady
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  90. My husband and I are just beginning our family and our dream is to have many more. I grew up in a small family but his is quite large. We are currently leaving things in God's hands, we know that it is all in his hands. I feel blessed to have my daughter and I cannot wait for more. I would love to win that book.
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  91. Jennifer FettermanJun 9, 2009 08:19 AM
    I love your words. They so speak to me. And, I would love a copy of that book! jenniferfetterman@yahoo.com
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  92. I often get surprised expressions when I tell people we're expecting number 3 (or when I told them I wanted 3 or 4, before this pregnancy). I've often heard something along the lines of, "well, I guess you're done since you have a girl and a boy." And add to that the fact we'll have 3 ages 3 and under and people really think we're odd.
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  93. I would love to read this book! Thanks!
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  94. Oh I hear you. People ask me all the time if we're done. I don't think I am, I really feel like I have 2 boys left. We'll see though. We've always said we'd take it one pregnancy at a time :)
    You are totally taking the right approach, just listen to God. He will tell you if there are more Spirits for your fam.
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  95. We only have two so far but are planning on a few more. We've always wanted a large family. I need to sign up for Mary's blog.
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  96. I think your blog is great! I would love the chance to win a copy of the book. As a mom of two little boys and another baby (gender unknown, thus far) due in August I am already getting that question... our baby is not even here yet!" I pray that we will be blessed with a few more ! Thankyou for sharing your adventures!

    samzmommi@yahoo.ca
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  97. so true... so true! Thanks for sharing!

    britt
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  98. i feel the same way as you about adding a fifth child. on days like today, i think i am insane on other days i say why not. i am putting this in God's hand, just like you!

    i would LOVE a copy of the book you mentioned!!!!
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  99. From one mom of four to another...I am in awe of you. How you still have that breath of fresh air-ness about you in spite of all the ball chasing and butt wiping is beyond me. Where as you say "we're probably done" I'm all like, "hey babe, I made you an appointment. Oh and pick up some frozen peas on your way home would'ya?" :)

    No but really. Every time I tell someone about meeting you, I always say, "I just LOVE her. She's such a ray of sunshine." And you really are.
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  100. I loved this post! My mom had 10 kids and then adopted one too. I would so love that book. Please pick me...I need encouragement right now.
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  101. We have 4 daughters, I get questioned all the time on if we're going to try one more time for a boy for my husband. For the longest time I tried to be p.c. and then I got wise and started answering "he can do whatever he wants with his next wife" as a joke. But boy does that end the question/answer session. In all honesty my husband and I are still not sure if we're done or not. Time will tell and if we decide to add another (girl probably) I will feel just as blessed and happy as I did for the four that came before;)
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  102. that last picture is absolutely ADORABLE!!

    I grew up in a large family and would love to have a large family myself. Unfortunately I don't have 1/8th the patience that my mother had, so we are probably done after 3 as well. but like you, I'm not ready to close that door just yet. :)

    Please enter me in the contest for the book. Thanks!
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  103. I am really interested in this book. My husband and I both would like a large family. I have to be honest though, it makes me nervous to think about the logistics of that.
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  104. Ooh, I'm a mom of 4, too - and I've been dying to read this book! Some days I wonder if the tired ever ends... :)
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  105. i am also a mom of four, a 13 year old daughter + almost 2 year old triplets. we too, always get the question are you done yet? although it is usually assumed that we are. who knows what our future will bring...right now we aren't looking to expand our family, but we would hate to say never. i have been looking for advice on managing a large family...i would love to win!
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  106. Hello Steph!

    As a woman who is trying for #1 I would LOVE a copy of your book. I hope to have a rather big family, but at the same time this hope terrifies me. Right now I am just putting it in God's hands and I am praying that motherhood is a blessing I get to experience.

    I love you blog. Thank you for sharing your family's adventure!
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  107. I too have four children and get asked "are you done" all the time. It is a hard question b/c in my heart no but in reality I think so. I would love a copy of this book!
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  108. You have a beautiful family, Steph.

    And a beautiful heart.

    I love it when people have big(ger) families.

    A few weeks ago, my husband's cousin and his wife and their 4 kids came to stay with us for four days. So we had six kids in the house - and it was SO fun.

    We're still deciding if we're going to be "done" or not - and that week made us reconsider. There was so much laughter in our house, so many built-in friends, so much opportunity for meaningful conversation. Both my husband and I enjoyed it thoroughly. We'll see...
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  109. Thanks for saying all of this. We take our children one at a time (so far!) and have no intention of putting a final number on our family size. Many people do not agree with or understand our decision, sometimes people close to us. It hurts. I would love read the book.
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  110. I think your family is wonderful. :) I can so relate to your obsession with Ivy. Oh how absolutely consuming baby girls are to their mamas!

    I can relate, too, weirdly, to your "are you done yet" questions. And we have only two kids (so far)! My son is eight weeks old and constantly I'm assured I must be done because look I've been blessed with the million dollar family, no need to try for anything because I've got 'em both right here. I must be done!

    It's crazy.

    I'd love a large(r) family. And I'd love to read that book. I love her blog. :)
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  111. I think your family is wonderful and whatever God plans for you all is what is right.

    And I would LOVE to read the book!!
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  112. What mother of littles hasn't been asked this question? I've settled on a cryptic "I want as many as God wants us to have." Because, like you, I don't know if we're done or if we'll have half-a-dozen more! I'm satisfied with the children I have, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't welcome more.
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  113. Definitely sounds like you are still deciding (but you're done, right?) tee hee...

    I would love a copy of that book. Three seems like a lot to me! ; )
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  114. We are done. There is a big part of me that is happy with that, but a part of me that is not happy with that. I guess the biggest reason why I am not happy with that decision is that I didn't get to make the decision, and especially because this came after having a miscarriage... (I shouldn't get pregnant any more for health reasons) But I am blessed to have three, and there is always an adoption!
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  115. People are so funny about family size. When I told people I was pregnant with another girl, some of them were like "ohhh well." But, really--I'm happy! We didn't care one way or the other, but there will definitely be benefits to having another little girl. We can use the same clothes, and I was able to turn my daughter's lavender room (which we never really used because we cosleep) into a girly playroom for them to share. I am so excited to have two little girls growing up together. When I tell people we want a few more children and feel that one of them will probably be a boy, their eyes pop out like I'm crazy. But for our family, cutting ourselves off as "done" after only two kids is about the saddest thing I can think of.

    And I'd love a copy of the book, even though we aren't such a big family yet :-)
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  116. I'd love a big family but realisticly inMalta that's impossible unless you are a director andf both work.....my hubby is haapy with our just one but at least 2 i's want to have even 3 but God will let us know his plans :)
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  117. I really want to read this. I need all the advice I can get.
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  118. You have a small family in my opinion :) we just got our baby boy and a lot of people at my husband's work keep asking if we are done...no way! we are just getting started :)
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  119. This post made me cry. Not sure why -- but it was a good cry. Maybe the fond memories of your pgcy with Ivy, maybe the thought of more (or no more) AIB family members, maybe just what once was.

    Love.
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  120. I love big families! Something wonderful happens within them. I think it's fantastic that you feel happy about where you are at and yet open to what could be. That's the best way to take in life. It's so refreshing to read about someone who is open to that. I come from a family of six and I thought it was a little small so maybe I'll make up for that with my own family! What lucky spirits that get to be in your family all wanted and carried and cared for!
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  121. I'd love to read that book!

    And I don't know that I'll ever feel "done." Especially since my husband has been content with whatever family size we are at the time (1 or 2 or 3 kids). So each child was MY idea and my hope. Honestly, if he came to me and said "How about 1 more?" I'd pass out first, and then jump on him.
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  122. i would love a copy of that book. we have two kids and were recently on our third within three years, but a few days ago found out that this pregnancy will end in miscarriage. funny how when we first found out we were expecting again, we were overwhelmed and worried about the logistics, but within a few short weeks, we were beyond excited and could not picture our lives any other way. i guess God had other plans...
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  123. Well I just stumbled upon your blog and thought that I would do a bit of reading and thought what the heck I like free stuff! Oh yeah I also love babywearing!! My 18 month old resisted the sling for a while but not that climbing is not so new she is back on my hip again:)
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  124. I think it's awesome that you are remaining open to what God's will is in your lives. You never know when or from where your next little blessing could arrive!! (and i love Ivy's outfit... my zoe has it too!)
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  125. That book sounds fantastic! I can REALLY relate to everything you said. We also have four and some days I feel as if I can barely manage...others I find myself thinking 5 would be lovely LOL. Only God knows what is in store...I know he is in control and won't give me more than I can manage. They are such blessings!

    Elizabeth
    thesmithclan@stny.rr dot com
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  126. Great pictures! We have four kiddos and just found out we're expecting a surprise number 5! We had all of "our" plans laid out to ensure no more pregnancies, but I think God knew we'd be missing out on something...so how could we not be thrilled?! We have two boys (our oldest is Noah also) and then two girls so we'll see what's in store for us this time around...! Enjoyed your blog!
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  127. We also have four children, all boys. No one can resist asking, "So, are you going to try for a girl?". I always respond with "We've been trying, but my husband keeps giving me boys." or "God must think I have something to learn from my guys." We think we are finished, maybe...but neither of us are ready to make a permanent decision. After all, it is up to God and children are a blessing from the Lord. I could use some help taming the chaos, though.
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  128. I like the very first comment...whatever lies in your heart! And I hear you on what lots of other people have to say about the size of a family. I have 2 boys and am expecting in December. First thing out of everyone's mouth is something regarding a girl (oh you're trying for one, oh are you hoping for one, oh maybe you'll get your girl). Honestly, my hope is for a healthy baby...I would be happy with a boy or a girl. I've never felt a strong preference either way. So I just roll with these comments because they certainly aren't the WORST of what strangers or friends will say to you, right? I've always thought about 4 children but I think 3 might be it for us...and either way, it's fine...it's whatever is in our hearts (which I think is really just God's plan). Thank you for sharing so much of yourself here! Your children are GORGEOUS- I love seeing them all together :)
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