I wrote the title and those words this morning in my bed as Ivy slept and the sun crept in. Now I am outside cashing in on a double stroller nap with my camera, new laptop, an iced coffee with whipped cream, and fresh air.
FedEx main just came next door and plopped down two boxes waking Ivy but I strolled her back to sleep. This is my time.
The new laptop is nice. This is my first post from it. I find that while it is convenient to take anywhere (as I am now in the living room with an awake Ivy crawling around) I am also more easily distracted and it is taking me forever to post this post.
I grew up in the theatre and after our last show everyone would finish signing each other's playbills and put on old clothes and strike the set. We'd tear down the wood trees, paper backdrops. Like starting all over but more violent. In a way. It was goodbye.
Then we'd all go together for pizza somewhere or to the beach and know that even though we'd spent the last several weeks inseparable we'd probably never see each other like that again. Unless we are cast in another play together. But it would be different roles and a different set.
I am easily distracted. I notice things like the leaky faucet in the kitchen and the crumbs on my carpet and my numb insides. Nothing's wrong, nothing's right. But something is around the corner. I can just feel it. I wish I knew if it was good or bad. Or just nothing.
Can I just live this moment, with nothing to look forward to and no regrets behind me. The right now stillness on the water. Coming from no where with no where to be. Can I be content in this. I want to be content in this. I need to strike the set.
Subscribe to my blog here
Twitter me- I'm babysteph