March 2, 2009

Too Many Voices In My Head

I started this blog back at the end of 2005 and while many bloggers started way before that, I still feel like an old fogey at times.

I seriously can't keep up, and never could have imagined this thing that brings me so much fulfillment would even require me to.

And if it's only what I make it then I've sadly made it way too hard on myself. Just what is so urgent and important that I feel lowly if I am not constantly connected or communicating?
I can't hear my own thoughts.

It's too much confusion and you know what? I don't need that in my life right now.


I need some quiet time and solitude so that I can hear my heart beat and my baby breathe, so I can see the beauty in a simple day, and, honestly, feel better about myself.

I will still write here because that is what I originally intended to do. But I am closing the door to everything else until I feel it's time- and right for me- to take a look again.

66 comments:

  1. Know just where you're coming from. Big hugs to you...enjoy "life" now.

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  2. Good for you Steph. Seriously. I admire you. (((hugs)))

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  3. It takes a big person to make that decision. I just came back after nearly three years. Enjoy your time!

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  4. Steph,

    I'm proud of you for making such a difficult, but necessary decision.

    I've recently scaled back some of my blogging commitments so that I can focus on my family, work and my personal blog.

    Hopefully this will free up your time, your mind and make you feel refreshed again.

    HUGS!

    Nell

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  5. As someone who's been blogging since Dec. 2004, I know what you mean. It's like a roller coaster. Take the time you need to be with your kids! I'm assuming I'll see you on Twitter though, and at BlogHer!

    Go lie on your bed and count your baby's fingers and toes while you watch her laugh. Doesn't that sound GLORIOUS! And a bit of Curious George never hurt either! ENJOY!

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  6. Big hugs to you and enjoy your "me" time. Life is too short!

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  7. Good for you! I've seen this same thing crop up in everyone I've been reading -- and I've felt the same. I think I'm going to cut myself some slack and take some time off too!

    Enjoy your quiet time. We'll be here when you are :)

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  8. I think this is just what you need. i have followed your blog for a while now and have wondered how you truly have time for all of this. as our family grows we have to let go of some things that we don't need anymore. Believe me I do not know everything but i am the proud mother of 7 little blessings and i have learned that they are much more important than some of my earthly desires i thought I couldn't live without. God will bless you during this time of rest.
    Susan

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  9. Good for you, Steph. Blogging gets overwhelming for me and my blogging commitments are nothing compared to yours. Take time off and come back if/when you feel the desire not the demand.

    -Abby
    @sweetbabboo

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  10. Amen Stephanie. I think many of us are having similar thoughts these days.

    Our blogs are urgent and scream for our attention -- but ultimately, they are meaningless. Our families and our hearts, though, are in a different category.

    Take all the time you need. That's the beauty of feed readers.

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  11. Big hugs, Steph. Take all the time you need to rest. When you're burned out, even the things you love become tedious and painful. Enjoy your time and make your way back when you're ready!

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  12. Now that I am out here in the public blog world, I have no clue how you do all you do lady. When something that is supposed to be a good thing starts causing more stress than joy, we sometimes have to let go. I've had to do so with certain things too. At first I felt like they had defeated me and worn me down, but the truth is that by recognizing the need to let go and then actually doing it and reclaiming that space in your one and only life here on Earth, you win!

    Erin

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  13. Well said...And I understand completely.

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  14. Good for you for taking care of yourself. It is hard to find a balance in life. Plus, I always find myself feeling like I HAVE to do this or that and forget to take a few moments to remember what is REALLY important.

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  15. You made the right decision. Too much is happening right around you. If blogging takes away from what is most important, then you do need a break. I want you to find yourself again and enjoy the beautiful person you are. Take care of YOU...your family needs a happy healthy clear headed momma. Love you, Mom

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  16. That's a big decision to make, but sometimes it's what you need. I just started a new blog after taking a two year break from all of it because it began to be too difficult, too much work, not enjoyable, etc.

    Whatever happens, I hope you make the choice that is best for your family and makes you happiest.

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  17. I think everyone goes through this. Take it easy, hon...

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  18. Good for you Steph! The blogging/Facebook/Twittering life can be just that...too many voices in your head. Take care of your family and yourself, and when you feel like you have something to write about...then do it. Don't put unnecessary pressure on yourself. :)

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  19. Feeling a whole lot of that myself.

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  20. Take all the time you need. We'll be here when you're ready :-)

    **hugs**

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  21. I completely understand. Take the time you need. *huge hugs*

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  22. enjoy your time with family and friends. you are a strong mama to make such an important decision. good for you!

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  23. You can't do that! KIDDING of course. I think it's very wise and I'm positive you won't regret it.

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  24. {{Big hugs}} You have so much on your plate right now and we all respect that. We'll be cheering for you no matter how often you post or what events you attend. I hope you get your mojo back soon. It's not fun to feel overcommitted.

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  25. Hi Steph, I know just how you feel. Kind of like what you and I were talking about the other day, LOL, me trying to open my front door with my car key pad! It's good to stop every once in a while. Sit back and relax for a bit and enjoy your kids and finding yourself again. Best wishes, xoxo - Alison

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  26. I understand completely-it takes a lot of work and time, and sometimes, that time is so much more fun, relaxing, and better spent just not worrying about a blog, or review, or whatever. Take your time, write when you feel inspired, and don't stress. I'll miss you tons, but that means I'll enjoy whatever posts you do that much more :)

    Have fun getting rid of all those voices, and just hearing the little ones that are calling out for crackers :)

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  27. Sending you a hug from here!

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  28. I hear you! I'm feeling slightly overwhelmed right now and I've been doing this for less than a year. I'm working on stepping back slowly but its hard. Good luck!

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  29. Too many voices ... I sure relate to that. Here's to some enjoyable time with your precious baby and children.

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  30. I know what you're feeling- I've been feeling the 'pressure to post' lately, too...and I don't even get paid to blog!

    I will miss your words & pictures...glad you'll still be blogging when you have time, but I'm proud of you for doing something that might be difficult for you- when it's right for you.

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  31. I completely understand what you are going through. Enjoy your beautiful family.

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  32. Steph, good for you. I have sensed for some time that you have been feeling that "pull" and I am sure that you will be blessed for your decision to slow down and scale back. Enjoy those little ones...it goes so fast, doesn't it?

    Hugs,
    Happi

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  33. Enjoy your time away. We'll look forward to hearing from you again when the time is right for you. Best wishes.

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  34. Do what is important for you to feel good and content with yourself. We'll be here when you are ready for us. I admire that you realized this and are doing something about it. I just started blogging in January and I know how addicting it can get. I can't imagine doing this when I still had little kids at home. You have definitely made the right decision. Hugs to you and your family!!

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  35. I'm slowly coming to this same realization myself. Trying hard to make myself connected...not OVERconnected.

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  36. I'll miss ya! At least we still have twitter and email! Big hugs to you mama!
    Lauren aka dreamtattoo aka instinctparenting

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  37. I totally understand. I'm right there with you. Today is the first day in many that I even opened up my email.

    That break was nice and it made me realize that I don't miss twitter and all that jazz after all.

    Take a break and enjoy!

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  38. Well done you, for recognizing that you need a break ... most of us just carry on regardless, relentless... So good for you and go and "smell the roses."

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  39. yep...feel the same way. it's ok to tell yourself and everyone else that you need a break to enjoy everything around you. good for you.

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  40. Good for you!! Enjoy your life.

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  41. Hope you"ll have a great time with you family and fell refresh soon!

    May God be with you in this time!

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  42. Do what you need to do, and take time to enjoy your family :) I don't know how you keep up with it all - I get overwhelmed with my little blog sometimes!

    Take the time you need! We'll be here :)

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  43. as usual, you inspire me :) you totally have your priorities straight. we'll miss you in bloglandia while take a breather, though!

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  44. don't you love making a decision that has been tugging at you & you know is right?! i'm happy for you.

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  45. we all have times in our life where we go through moments like these. enjoy the time with your family. i'll still be reading.

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  46. I feel the same way! And I have had to take a vacation from some things I love including my blog as well. Guess what? People will still be out here in bloggerville when you are ready!

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  47. God's Blessings in your journey!

    Take care of you and that beautiful family of yours ... thats what matters.

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  48. God's Blessings in your journey!

    Take care of you and that beautiful family of yours ... thats what matters.

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  49. Absolutely. Do what is best for you. Hope to hear from you again soon.

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  50. I'm so proud of you, Steph. It's not an easy decision to make, but is soooo worth it for your peace of mind. Believe me, I know. Hugs to you.

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  51. Enjoy your quiet time--be blessed!

    Blessings!

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  52. Dear Lord, you are not alone, from what I've read and what I feel; I can't do what you do. Take A LOT of steps back, ignore the past, hug someone you've never hugged before, and consider the rest of us. We count, too.

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  53. I have been considering this recently also. I started blogging because I love my family and wanted to document them. But, when it starts to take me away from my family...it is something I am really struggling with right now. I am right there with you. Go smell that sweet Ivy head and love on those sweet boys of yours. Don't regret it for an instant.

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  54. Take your sweet time, Steph.

    It's so hard to balance the benefits and the downsides of blogging. Sometimes I want to "throw in the towel" and just be de-Internetified. Other times, I feel that my little corner of the blogosphere saves my sanity and improves my family life...usually it's the latter.

    But "breaks" are a good thing. So enjoy yours - and don't worry about "us." I think you're going to be on my RSS list for life. :)

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  55. Good for you to listening to the one voice that should speak much louder than any others...yours!! I'll be here when you feel like writing. Until then enjoy life and the ones who make it worth living!

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  56. Steph, one thing I have always admired about you is how in touch you are with yourself. Take the time you need, and you feel a lot better once you do.
    Jen

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  57. So interesting. There seems to be something in the air lately. About bloggers revisiting blogging, their goals and stuff.

    I shared my thoughts about this recently on my "bidness" blog. I think it's so important for us to know exactly what our purpose is. That way we can know whether we've gotten there or not, and if it's time to step back or not.

    Boundaries are good!

    As for the overwhelm I also wrote about that too, just today. It's tough, but we have a lot of people pulling on us for our time, our eyeballs, our traffic, etc.

    That stuff can overtake the more important stuff.

    :-)

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  58. Good for you, Steph...for recognizing what YOU need right now. Hugs..

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  59. Yep. I go back and forth to steaming straight ahead full force to taking a step back, but I always come back to the parts I love.

    Mostly now I try to evaluate new things keeping in mind if it is something I want to do, or something I think I should do.

    Enjoying reading some of your "best of's" anyway.

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  60. Well said, as always!
    To me, blogging started as a hobby because I enjoyed writing and thought it would be fun to have a family keepsake online. And while I was never the blogging goddess that you are, I found myself getting preoccuppied with it - and thinking a lot about the whole privacy factor. It started to feel like a job and obligation - so take as much time as you need. (even if it becomes a "permanant vacation")

    Life is about change - and maybe the time has come for a new beginning for you. I know I feel exactly like that right now, and not just in the blogging aspect of life either!

    Breathe in all the goodness around you!

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  61. Good for you. I have problems with the same thing and am constantly back and forth. I hope you find the balance that you are looking for.

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  62. Oh yes - those first few months when Liv was small, I just couldn't do as much as I had been. I needed to do less.
    I have always wondered at how you did all you did. You seemed superhuman - in so many places all at once. I am glad you are breathing. Breathing is good. {{{HUGS}}}

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  63. Well said! When I started working full time my blog became more of a stress than a release, and I just stopped. It was a good break but I really missed it after awhile. We're working on baby #3 so I decided it would be a good time to start up again! We'll see how it goes...

    God bless!

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