March 31, 2009

Does This Burden Make My Butt Look Big?

I'm not only good at babywearing. There are many things- often too personal and private for writing here- that I sling on a daily basis.

Things that weigh much more than my baby.

Usually I keep it all clasped tight within my shirt, hiding it from even myself until it's resolved or forgotten or worth throwing away. Recently I opened my hand and stuck it out and I cried. And I was heard. And it felt good. And I could breathe.

I happened to get on the scale a bit later and I was FOUR POUNDS lighter than the day before. And I'd just had a sandwich and large Coke from Jimmy John's for lunch. (Since I'm being honest here, I admit eating some of those feelings might have felt good, too. It was an awesome sandwich.)

I wholeheartedly believe you should 1 Peter 5:7 the heck out of every heavy thing on your heart. But as a supplement, if only for the sake of just being real and child-like, I think having that good cry and confessing it out loud, releasing it from your own grip- the grip you are already losing hold of anyway- whether it is to your husband, friend, your cat...

It can breathe life and hope into your situation. Call your guard down and quit the pretending, let someone pick up one end, one corner, and get you a bit further along, even if just for a moment.

Maybe that's what is really keeping you out of your skinny jeans.


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41 comments:

  1. I don't know you other than online, but I love your spirit.

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  2. I too love this post! And I totally agree. Sometimes just venting or crying or letting it be known something you are carrying is too much can be so helpful. I hope things begin to improve for you.

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  3. I agree completely. Very well said.

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  4. I've been wanting to comment on one of your posts for quite some time. I found you through my cousins blog and I have enjoyed every post since then but this one really said something to me. I've been holding in a lot of things that I've been worrying about and just seeing that verse made me feel so much better. I often feel I need to deal with things myself and beat myself up over things- especially the weight loss struggle I've been having. Your post reminded me that He is much bigger than all of that and will help me through it all. Thank you for being such an inspiration. Your blog has given me more inspiration than you know, especially when it's my turn to be a mother- thank you!

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  5. just stopping by to tell you that you are awesome -- the chicago tribune!!!!!!

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  6. There is nothing I love more than stepping on the scale after eating something delicious and seeing the numbers go down. Also, Jimmy John's? Yum! Four pounds is pretty impressive after all we ate this weekend, too. Must've been that hula hooping! ;)
    I agree that letting go of your burdens can feel so, so good. I need to remind myself of that more often because sometimes, it just seems much easier to keep them all inside.

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  7. wow! i love what you wrote today! it speaks volumes to us mommies and women who carry around so much and hang on to so much more than just our babies. there is so much on our plates and we often forget to stop and clear them off. casting them away to Him is the way to do it!!

    thanks for sharing!!!

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  8. THAT is awesome. Love the title, love the content, love the verse. Thank you!

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  9. Wow. You have no idea. Really, no idea. Wow.

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  10. This is beautiful. Thanks for this steph!

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  11. Ah, yes. Well said. Sometimes it's months before I can fit into my emotional skinny jeans. Stuffing it all inside just comes so naturally. ;)

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  12. Just what I needed today! I'm getting better, but I used to carry everything around myself. Now I make a conscious effort to hand it over to God. So beautifully put.

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  13. This is how I SURVIVE! Thanks for writing it so beautifully!

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  14. You are an amazing writer!

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  15. Awesome post - thanks for the reminder!

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  16. Wow, great post. Something to think about and remember. Thanks!

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  17. I used to think I was the great communicator and then...my babies died and I realized soon how difficult and complex it was to share my feelings with anyone.

    I learned to bottle them up and not share and somehow it seemed easier that way.

    I've been doing that for so long. Last Friday I finally shared a sliver of my feelings with my sister and with the snap of my fingers, I was crying silently into the phone, those emotions were right there, just waiting to be released.

    When someone else shares, I know how sacred that is, I'll always listen. And I'll listen well.

    Keep talking, Steph. You have many listeners and that is a special gift.

    Love you to pieces and also? Your butt never looks big.

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  18. I'm a mom and I don't get it...

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  19. Dear Anonymous,

    To me, part of receiving the title of Mother is also creating relationships with other women and learning from their experiences and learning to support one and another to become BETTER Mothers in that process.

    I know that you may not know what Stephanie is talking about, but rather than leaving a comment that may make her feel not so good about this (poignant) post, maybe you should consider just waiting, watching and then LEARNING.

    And if you are going to leave a comment, do it with courage and stop hiding behind the word ANONYMOUS.

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  20. You said it better than I ever have. I'm glad it helped you to cry out to God. It helped me the other day too.

    Nell

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  21. It can be so cathartic to let it out, to let go of something that is too big for us to carry. Big hugs, friend.

    And why is it mean spirited commenters are always anonymous?

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  22. Ah, this was good and so very, very true. I've been clutching my own things lately, and just emailing an old friend and telling her about it and asker her to pray...it was amazing how instantly I felt lighter.

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  23. I love the verse that you choose I always have to remind myself to do verse 6 before verse 7

    " 1 Peter 5:6-7 (New International Version)

    6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.

    7Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."

    We are quick to cast but sometimes slow to humble ourselves!

    Thanks for sharing this post

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  24. Thanks for the reminder Steph!!!

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  25. Beautifully written. Cast your cares on Christ.

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  26. I needed, no make that NEEDED this today.

    Thank you.

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  27. I can totally relate to what you're saying.
    This was very well written and on a subject that really hits home. It definitely makes me feel more "normal". Thank you for sharing.

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  28. ((( Bless your heart. )))

    Thank you so much for writing this!

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  29. This is such a raw post, I'm in awe at you for putting something so personal and so real up. Well done!

    There is a biblical passage (can't remember where) that mentions an ill man whose four friends lowered him on a stretcher through a hole in a roof to hear Jesus speak. The first time I heard that verse, a church elder asked me to consider who MY stretcher-bearers were. As time has continued, those four names in my life have changed, but when I read this post, I thought about that for the first time in YEARS. Years and years and years.

    You have stretcher-bearers, too. Don't keep it all in; they can help you out.

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  30. Wow, this hit home! I think you are beautiful inside and out and I am very proud to say that "I birthed you"! Thank you for this post that touches my heart and I do get it! And, I will trade butt sizes with you any day!

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  31. Thanks for sharing about your burden, though. I know I feel a burden right now, too - this morning I was super-grouchy, but after Z's 2nd nap, I sat down & played with him, and after that I felt SO much better.

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  32. I needed this. I just found out that I might not get surgery I need to fix me and relieve infection and constant pain from childbirth injuries caused by bad decisions from medical people for MONTHS thanks to Canada's system. Now we are waiting to see if I qualify to have financial help to have it done in my hometown in Missouri, because they could do it right away and I wouldn't spend my whole summer waiting and balancing pain meds with nursing schedules. God seems so silent, and I keep wondering what His purpose in this could be. Crying the snot out of myself and being ugly honest in a prayer email were all I could do today. Geez, it's amazing how much crap like this weighs....and not even yhe biggest maternity clothes can contain it.

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  33. Oh, Steph. This is beautifully written. And appreciated!
    So fun to meet you at Hallmark! And lovely Hallmark post as well. And all four of your jewels are beautiful :)

    Best, SK

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