I think he's jealous of the new baby.
It could possibly explain so much. But until now I have not even allowed myself to consider it.
"Oh Gray is wonderful! He just took to the baby right away! He's such a good big brother! We've had no troubles at all."
Because it makes me feel so incredibly crazy heartbreaking guilty if it's true.
All along I've thought it's been defiance and just over all rotten, bad behavior, but could it be that he just has been feeling so many emotions with the coming of the baby that he doesn't know how to process or control what he feels? He went from being the baby (and he very much so was my baby) to, well, not the baby.
But he loves Ivy! He's so helpful! And caring! He adores her.
Except at the same time he is this little very angry person. A grumpy old man in a three-year-old body.
And I thought he was just mad at the world. But I think he's mad at me.
This is so hard for me to admit to you. But I really could use your help. What can I do to reverse this? I don't want these feelings he has to fester and affect him for the rest of his life. And especially my relationship with him.
Since I've come to this realization in just the past day or so, I feel like things have been a bit better. I am more mindful of it. We still co-sleep and he knows he's still my peanut and will always be my baby but there is something else there keeping me from reaching him, from meeting his emotional needs as a Mother should.
Maybe it's the guilt?
Have you been here? Have you any suggestions, books, directions for the way out?
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