I feel so inadequate, sending emails signed with lower case x's and o's, offering help where I can. If I had enough money I'd send flowers in a pretty vase. I want to hold them in my arms. I want to say I'm sorry. I want to take all the bad thoughts and hurt and sadness away.
I watched Beth's kids while she went to the hospital. We made art with buttons and glitter glue.
All around me people I love are losing their children, their husbands, their wives, their jobs, their minds.
Sometimes it's not that there's not enough words to say but there just aren't any words at all. Or things I could do. Maybe if I were more creative or maybe if I were more organized. Maybe if I had a time machine. Maybe it's not up to me.
I'm sad and I'm sorry and I'm praying and I'm surrendering more than you know.