January 31, 2009

Just what do I do?

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January 30, 2009

Funny Thing Happened On The Way To... Well, Here.

This is my version of what I think happened.

Over the past few months I felt like I was losing my writing mojo. It's one of my things that lets me be me and get out what I need to get out and take in what I need to take in. I don't know where it was going and I didn't know if it would come back.

This loss made me not feel too well- kinda sick to my stomach actually- and so I thought... maybe it's physical. Maybe I'm pregnant. So I took two broken tests and then I wrote about it. And it felt good. And so I wrote some more.

And suddenly I don't feel pregnant or sick or whatever anymore.

I was feeling so good after writing about it that I just published it and then thought maybe I should tell hubby I took some more pregnancy tests.

Me: I hope it's ok but I blogged about taking two more pregnancy tests today that were both BLANK. I've never had that happen before. But now I have more material to blog about how I'll go about returning them to Target. : )

He: How dare you blog about something personal! Oh wait, you've been doing that all along.

I've been doing that all along.
Maybe the blogging mojo is right here in front of me- the little bit of crazy inside every normal day. Or in some cases the little bit of normal in all of my crazy days. Just write what you know. And sometimes it's not easy to write what I know. Because what happens when you don't know? Then I guess you just write that you know you don't know.

You know?

Or something.

*Note: That is Noah laughing with the best laugh ever. And there you have the hole in the wall.

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January 29, 2009


Ivy's already more of a fashionista than I am- such a great distraction from myself while everyone oohs and ahhs over her outfit and her shoes and her hair.

Here we are with our long-time bloggy friend MJ Tam. See more photos from her awesome Chicagonista launch party

Going to BlissDom? You'll most likely see me wearing the same exact thing. But you won't notice because I'll be holding Ivy. My plan is working.

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January 28, 2009

Hi I'd Like To Return These Faulty Pregnancy Tests

The conversation in the car between Sarah and I contemplating how to go about returning the tests to Target went something a little like this:

So I just have the box and receipt- you think I need the sticks, too?

Yeah. They might need to see that they're blank.

But I peed on them! And I left them at home.

We can go back for them.

You really think I need them?

Just in case.

And so we went home and I got my broken sticks wrapped in Kleenex and put them back in the box.

In the parking lot as we were walking in I found this decorative wooden ball thing that someone must have dropped and I was all maybe I can distract them by turning in this object I found and they won't notice I'm taking back a used pregnancy test!

But it was much ado about nothing.

Albeit a little uncomfortable, the girl took back my test with the used sticks inside and gave me my money back, no problem.

I was like, you're going to keep it?

And she was like, yes.

Then she pointed out the lot number so that I don't buy from the same batch and I said I think I'm going to get a totally different brand.

Oh, and the new test I bought was not broken and I am not pregnant.

The end.

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January 27, 2009

What If There's NO Lines?

I was all set to write about this conference video chat thing I got to do a couple weeks ago with style stud Thom Filicia and seek your applause that I actually took down our Christmas tree yesterday! I seriously had it down not even 5 minutes before Beth was bringing her kids over because I knew if she saw that it was still up she'd probably not let the crazy lady with the Christmas tree still up me watch her kids.

It was a decent incentive.

And now there is this big space in the living room where it used to be. And the walls are bare from where the stockings hung. Thom gave some great ideas for maintaining a "chic home amidst all the legos on the floor."
I'm planning some thrift store shopping soon. I liked his suggestion to just paint over things rather than refinishing. Much cheaper and quicker and I just wish I could repaint carpet. And kitchen floors. Oh, and the bathroom sink.

There is this big Room-A-Day Giveaway going on from Kimberly-Clark & The View and I just think, gee, I don't know which room in my house doesn't need a makeover. How awesome would it be to win that. If you can relate at all then you should totally enter and check out more realistic home styling tips from Thom here.

Beth's son asked why we had a hole in our wall. Then Gray told him all about how he put Star Wars bobble heads from McDonald's in there. Um, yeah.

But I am distracted right now- who cares about the decorating status of my home when I just took two pregnancy tests (I am still feeling weird, ok?) and they were both BLANK.

What does that mean?

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January 26, 2009

The Mom Is In

Oh the perks of blogging can be really fun.

Just last Friday I was having lunch with Monica Potter, one of the stars of the new drama Trust Me premiering on TNT tonight at 10/9 Central. We had a sneak peek opportunity to watch the first two episodes at home and then have lunch with Monica and some fabulous bloggers in Chicago.

You should definitely tune in and see for yourself- you might enjoy seeing Monica, a real-life Mom of three, play along in this witty drama about a fast-paced Chicago ad agency with two other fine actors, Eric McCormack & Tom Cavanagh.

As Monica chatted with us so casually, I really noticed how she talked out of her head like a lot of Moms do (in a good way of course!) about her kids, about the show, and after seeing the famous baby duo Ivy & Asher- maybe the thought of having more kids.

And soon I felt less and less self-conscious about my last minute choice of a pony tail.

Yes, she does look like a beautiful TV and movie star in person. But then I think the same of my awesome Mom friends, too. And sometimes myself. So, whether we are jetsetting the Holllywood life or should be folding laundry, a Mom's a Mom. And she's totally in.

Monica & Beth. Aren't they purty?

If anything, you should totally watch the show just to say Hey that's Monica Potter and she held Ivy!

You can also enter to win a bit of swag from the event over at my friend Dawn's blog- Because I Said So! And be sure to set that DVR now. .

Did you? Good.

Many thanks to Beth of Rolemommy.com for this awesome experience!

Photos by Beth Fletcher Photography.

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January 25, 2009

Ivy And The Laser Pug

The belly at 28 weeks and now...

Ivy LaRue, 4 months old

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January 23, 2009

What They'd Give Just For The Right To Hold You

Capturing the attention and hearts of everyone she sees is definitely one of Ivy's strengths.

Recently it was a particular older lady, who was inspired to share stories of when her two daughters were little girls and oh how she missed those days. Hold her as much as you can. It goes so fast. With a mist in her eyes she whispered, wavered.

It goes so fast.

I was so glad Ivy was generous with her smiles and coos. I think it blessed this woman's heart.

I found her longing, her wrinkled hand on my shoulder, "I envy you."

For a moment I caught my breath.

And I understood.

Rest your head close to my heart, never to part, baby of mine.

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January 22, 2009

Pocket Full Of Posey

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January 21, 2009

Just Because I'm Hurting Doesn't Mean I'm Hurt

Seizures aren't funny.

I know most of you heard that Senator Ted Kennedy had a seizure during yesterday's Inauguration Congressional luncheon. I'm just waiting for the jokes to start. But I hope none fall on my ears.

I understand we joke. I'm just going to be the party pooper on this one and say I never have and never will find them funny.

When you see your child have thousands of seizures... each time hoping it's their last and the anger that comes when it's not... you might be a little sensitive. Maybe still a little angry.

I won't lose respect for you if you laugh. I just cringe on the inside of my skin. It's just like a little stab to that part of my heart. Stings for a moment but I get over it.

For now.

Please visit the American Epilepsy Outreach Foundation for more information on the seriousness of seizure disorders.

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January 20, 2009

You Were There

Someday they might ask where they were on this historical day. And I'll tell them we watched together. We prayed together. We hoped. And while their Mommy did desire a brighter future for our country, the whole time she was watching and praying and hoping for them.

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January 19, 2009

Great Expectations

What's that? There's some big deal going on about a new President?

Well, I had a little chat with my boys about it. You can see what they have to say here:

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January 18, 2009

Deep Thoughts

I like to think that God is the ultimate attachment parent. Carrying us around, holding us close.

I want to be worn today.

Photo by Crooked Eyebrow.

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January 17, 2009

Maybe TV Is The Better Babysitter

Due to the negative 19 degree weather, school was canceled yesterday. When the kids stay home from school I try to keep the TV off all day so that they play and do more imaginative and creative things. (Their behavior is so much better, too.)


Three boys can get too creative.

Carter wanted to see what it would be like to stick popcorn in his and Gray's ears. Gray's got stuck. Of course I didn't find out until they couldn't get it out and came to me with big saucered eyes of horror because they were convinced it would go into his brain.

And I hadn't thought much of telling them earlier that we had no tape when they wanted to hang up the many pictures they made of Ivy.

The popcorn eventually fell out.

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January 16, 2009

I Could Always Hang Easter Eggs

I seriously really really want to get the teeniest tiniest nose piercing.

I still have my Christmas tree up. Even googled for ideas if I leave it up all year.

And I am still untangling the yarn for some socks I'm about to knit. It's been days now.

Ivy has slept through the night since the day she was born. So I feel all sorts of weird when people say I have the excuse to look so ragged until the baby is sleeping through the night.

Did I just spell ragged right? I meant it like rag-edd. But it looks like bagged and we don't say bag-edd. Or do we?

I think about words too much.

I realized that I never pointed out that at the Method party Ivy and I wore matching Shabby Apple dresses.

I was in the 90 wpm dress and she in the 45 words per minute.

When I think of what I want to wear to BlissDom I think I'd like to just wear all Shabby Apple dresses.

I am not a big fan of eating apples unless they are baked. Or covered in caramel and stuff.

I'll eat pretty much anything covered in caramel.

Unless it was gross.

I have a box of barbecued larvets that Jenny (The Bloggess) sent me. They look like really big dried worms or fat fingers. I hope she didn't really expect me to eat them.

I would half-consider it if they they were covered in chocolate.

I'm getting a hair cut next week and I'm at the exact post-partum time that I usually chop it all off.

If I could afford it I actually would love to try extensions to make my hair even longer.

There you go- 16 things you might not have known about me, tagged by
Brittany (whose blog I check daily just for the awesome photos of her four boys and new twin girls!)

And since I feel like tagging, Tina, Lisa, Natalie, Amy, Nadia, & Amy, will you play along?

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January 15, 2009

16 Pound Energy Drink

I drink her up all day long.
She's so much better than the nap I don't get.

Ivy LaRue, 4 months old today.

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Simple Tips For Getting Sponsorships

I'm super excited that I've been fully sponsored for this year's BlogHer conference- BIG BIG thanks to TinyPrints.com- a fabulous site to get beautiful photo birth announcements, personalized cards, stationery, and more. I'll have a TinyPrints.com contest for you to enter soon, too!

And I'm happy to share some simple tips on how to go about seeking a sponsor for your own blog.

1. Be Available: Make sure you have a contact page or email address easily available on your blog. (Mine's in the "Who Is She?" button to the left and I have been meaning to make it more obvious actually.)

2. Be Prepared: Have a break down of just what you will need. For example- $250 conference fee, $300 airfare, $600 hotel, etc.

It Never Hurts To Ask: Your inbox might be holding the key. If you do reviews or contests or are emailed press releases to blog about, turn that into a request for sponsorship. Even if you can't do or don't want to do what has initially been requested, the company might be interested in sponsoring you for an event or even advertising in your side bar.

4. Don't Wait: Don't wait to be approached- you might have to do the reaching out. Often companies wouldn't even know where to begin if wanting to sponsor a blogger, so they might be waiting for you to come to them!

5. Who? Consider anyone and everyone you've enjoyed working with in the past. If you haven't established a relationship with other companies and contacts yet, then start reaching out. Start with the products and services you love and would want to work with! Even better if you have a personal story behind their product. Most websites have a contact page. That's a great place to start.

4. Don't Hesitate: Even though BlogHer 09 isn't until July, it's good to start asking now. (Or whatever event you're wanting to attend.)

5. Give & Take: Think about what you are willing to do in return for sponsorship. It could be links in your BlogHer posts, a button in your sidebar, passing out business cards at the conference, wearing a t-shirt... get creative! The possibilities are endless!

6. Be Yourself: Partner up with someone that makes sense for you and your blog. It should be someone you like and/or a product you are proud to have sponsor you. Sure, I could take $1000 to represent baby formula, but that's not me. And your readers know when you're not being you.

Additional tips...

Be original. If you see that another blogger has partnered up with a company, I think it's respectful to seek out some place different to work with.

Share the love.
At the same time, if you are sponsored and know that there are more sponsorship opportunities available for other bloggers, put in a good word for your friends!

Twitter. Be in the know and follow the movers and shakers on Twitter! (I'm babysteph by the way).

Win. Keep an eye out for contests offering sponsorships to BlogHer. Last year HP gave away several $250 scholarships and even this year some bloggers have been in the giving mood.

Volunteer. BlogHer offers BlogHerships and other opportunities in exchange for your time and talent. See if there is something available for you!

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January 14, 2009

Four By Four

All my kids at 4 months.




Ivy, almost 4 months old

Photo of Ivy by Crooked Eyebrow.

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January 13, 2009

Fifty! Say It Like Sally O'Malley.

I wrote this back when I was big & pregnant in the summer and apparently feeling a lot better about myself than, say, right now. So I thought it was timely for me to remember the 50 things I like about myself.

1. We'll get the physical out of the way- I like that I have gr
een eyes and that they are big and expressive
2. I have a winning personality
3. I think I am just as important as any one else in this whole world- no matter their "status"

4. I have no problem telling a "celeb" to "scootch a little" so that I can reach the paper towels in the bathroom
5. And I have no problem then later asking to take a photo with her

6. I am not afraid to stand up for what I believe, even if it's not the popular thing
7. I believe what I believe with a purpose and with reason
8. I don't believe in things just because others do
9. I don't do things because someone else expects it of me
10. I do most everything because it's what I expect of myself
11. I can relate to others even if they are completely opposite of me
12. I can see the child in most everyone
13. I can also see right through most everyone
14. I can easily let things go
15. and the things I can't let go I usually do something about
16. I love that I love to write
17. I love that I can get lost in a book
18. I love that I can get lost just looking out the window
19. or looking into my child's eyes
20. or at their faces while they sleep
21. I think anything is possible
22. I think many people are misunderstood
23. I think it is perfectly ok for others to disagree with me and do things differently
24. I think it would be quite boring if we were all the same
25. I am optimistic
26. I am not easily disappointed
27. I know my way around the city
28. I feel at home in the mountains
29. I know what good music is
30. I don't tolerate bad music
31. I question man-made rules, but still offer respect
32. I have seen God work in my life in supernatural ways
33. I am a Daddy's girl
34. I like the same music as him, and I love that
35. the hippie in me comes from him
36. and I love that I know that
37. I like to see others happy
38. I get that from my Mom
39. and my stellar shopping skillz
40. I have more shoes than I can count and I don't feel guilty
41. I wear bracelets and earrings and lipstick and paint my toenails
42. yet I still feel simple in a good way
43. I am very grateful for so many people in my life
44. And for so many blessings
45. And for so many opportunities I've been given
46. I only laugh when I want to, not because people want me to
And I usually laugh at many things others don't think is funny, probably inappropriate
48. I think there could be white unicorns still out there somewhere
49. and that inanimate objects have feelings and animals may talk when we're not around
50. And that's ok. Because I just get it.

And I love that.

Originally posted June 14, 2008

Pictured: Steph T. (my friend & mom of child with epilepsy), Hunter Tylo, & Me at the American Epilepsy Outreach Foundation Wings Of Hope Benefit.

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January 12, 2009

How Long Does Maternity Leave Last With Your Friends?

I wonder, if I had a job outside of the house, how long maternity leave normally would be? Isn't it like a year in some countries?

I mean, Ivy will be four months this week and I keep using the excuse of having a new baby and "still trying to get my act together" quite frequently. I say it to my friends. Family. The Internets. The cashier at the grocery store last night.

When do the excuses expire?

And is there such thing as amnesty with friends? Because I could really use it right about now.

It's not even that any of my wonderful friends or readers like you are
telling me that I need to get it together already, but it's me wanting to be better and do more. Whether that is right or wrong or expected or not.

Remember when I used to be that awesome blogger that responded to everyone's emails and commented on everyone's blogs and so on and so on? That friend that was up for a night out pretty much anytime on no notice. That friend that actually liked to leave her house.

Where did she go?

And how much longer do I have until she has to come back?

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January 11, 2009

Lighten Up

We need more happy up in here!

Photo by Crooked Eyebrow.

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January 10, 2009

Oh The Places Baby Can't Go

Being an exclusive breastfeeder, I've never thought much about where I can or can't take my baby. Girls night out? Weddings? Concerts? She's nursing, so she has to come with me.

A black-tie-optional-event-for-hubby's-work? Uhhhhh....

I have to leave Ivy tonight.

It's the first time. And I'll spare the dramatics- the party is under 2 miles from our house. My Mom will stay here with Ivy and if I have to leave to come nurse her, I will. She should be fine.

But me? Being separated from her for the first time more than 45 minutes? We'll see how that goes.

I miss her already and she's right here in my lap.

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January 9, 2009

Totally Bummed

It's been a little over two weeks now that we've been cloth diapering and I love it.

I think I still might be in the honeymoon period, as it's new and fun and the diapers are oh so cute. But I do hope it lasts!

I can't say that I suddenly feel better as a person for being more environmental friendly or crunchy or anything like that.

To be honest, by the fourth kid I was just finally tired of that plasticky crinkly diaper and all the leaks (and I really all this time thought that cloth diapers would be the worst with leaking and have to say that not once! have we had a leak and last night when I had her in a disposable, she leaked!!)

But, it is a great plus that I might be doing something more eco-conscious and better for my baby at the same time.

So, I started off with the Bum Genius 3.0 pocket diapers (pictured on Ivy) that are one size- they adjust as baby gets bigger thanks to snaps on the cover and insert. I love these. They are by far my favorite so far to use and clean and change and for her to wear. I bought 6 at first from Cottonbabies and then ordered a few more through Mom4Life because they had a big sale.

If you don't want to wash diapers every single day you'll definitely need 10 or more of these diapers- at least that's my experience with a 3 month old.

In between using the Bum Genius I also use unbleached Indian prefold diapers with a Bummis Super Whisper Wrap or Thirsties cover. I started out trying to use a Snappi to hold the prefold in place but then lately have just been laying the prefold in the cover's pocket and it's stayed in place just fine. I think this is easier clean up, too. I am not sure how long it would stay in place, especially once she starts moving around. Then I might have to go back to using the Snappi. I bought all these items from Jillian's Drawers and I have to say that they have great service as well as the best instructions with how to care for your diapers- all brands and kinds and etc. I found that incredibly helpful.

I use a very large wet bag in our bedroom that I got from Monkey Foot Designs on etsy. I got a matching one for my diaper bag and it's worked great even when we're out. I do prefer using cloth wipes as well- which can just be simple washcloths or my favorite Bummas. I have a small spray bottle in our room made of a solution of baby wash, water, & a little olive oil. You can also add essential oils to fragrance. For my diaper bag I have a small squirt bottle of the wipes solution along with the cloth wipes. Of course in a pinch water works great! And, I still keep Seventh Generation disposables on hand but have only used them maybe three times in the last two weeks. I mainly just keep a few in the diaper bag just in case.

When I was starting out I have to say it was extremely overwhelming, but now it totally all makes sense. I think I had my diapers almost a whole week before I began using them because I was so scared about washing. It's so much easier than I thought.

I do keep the instructions right there on my dryer just for quick reference! I run them in a cold rinse first, then wash hot with a cold rinse after. And I heard some people do a warm rinse at the end instead of cold, so I might try that next wash. I also wash the Bum Genius & covers separately from the Indian prefolds. I started off using Charlie's Soap but it irritated Ivy's skin. I tried All Free & Clear and have since completely become hooked on Maggie's Soap Nuts!! That is my favorite!

I wanted to say thank you for the crazy cloth diaper love so many of you have and all the wonderful tips you shared. And a special thank you to my friend Erin who literally held my hand as I placed my orders! (On twitter she's swonderful - she's a great follow.)

So, there you have it. This is how it's going and like I said, I love it. I might even say that they make me happy. And these days I am all about what makes me happy.

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January 8, 2009


I woke up this morning to colored paper cards with money taped to them.

My kids know just what I want.

Today is my birthday and all 32 years of me is quite happy.

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January 6, 2009

My Springtime On A Snowy Day

When things aren't going Gray's way, he'll cross his arms and furrow his brow and grumble "I quit it!"

We all have our days.

I decided to take my crummy camera anyway, found some good light, and captured the beauty in a dull moment.

Softness in a hard heart.

Spring in my winter.
Much like me, so imperfect and unrefined.

But put me in some good Light and anything can be made good.

Ivy, 3 1/2 months old, in her Paris dress from Aunt Jenny.

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Much Ado About Nothing

This morning I put on makeup and a sweater over my pajamas so that I could make a quick video for Newbaby.com. And the video won't load onto my ancient computer. It keeps freezing up and makes me all angry at the world.

And I get frustrated that I am letting myself get upset over something so trivial. And I think maybe I'll just take a photo of Ivy and that will suffice for a day's post and then I think about how horrible my camera is at taking pictures and there's that.

And I am left to post all about the pitifulness of nothing going right. And explain that this was not the intended post for today.

This was not my intended attitude for today either.

Someone cheer me up, quick.

Oh, my birthday is in two days, too.

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January 5, 2009

Chin Down, Smile, But Don't Show Your Teeth

So I went to renew my driver's license the other day and all was going just fine until I failed the eye test. With my contacts in.

Seriously, I could see just white fuzz on the right side. The girl looked at me and said, "Uh, not even close."

It was then that I realized that maybe the dizziness and weird vertigo I've been feeling lately was because of my contacts and not because of some crazy illness in my head. The room had been occasionally spinning ever since I replaced the contact that Ivy knocked out.

I had put the wrong one in the wrong eye.

So now I'm wondering what else I'm blaming on really dumb things. Probably a lot more than you'd think.

Oh, and they still renewed my license. Guess that right eye doesn't really matter.

(I'm still wearing my glasses until my new contacts come.)

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January 3, 2009


Ivy's blowing raspberries. She rolled over yesterday, too. Anyone have a remedy to slow her down??

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Mom Dot Me

Earlier this week I learned that I was named Number 13 out of MomDot's Top 50 Mom Blogs of 2008.

Oh, if it was only as glamorous as it sounds. You see, I am just an everyday Mom with a stuffed up nose, still in my pjs as I type this. My main goal for the day is to do laundry. Return stuff to Target. And have movie night with the boys.

Someday (dare I say) the Internet may no longer be here. But I'll always be Mom.

It is quite nice to have a place to call my own online. It's comfy and cozy and me.

And I'm going to enjoy every last bit of it while it lasts.

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January 2, 2009

Something's Missing

Two weeks ago I wouldn't have guessed I'd be feeling like I am today. Christmas break was starting and with the kids off school I just didn't know if I was ready for it- mentally and physically.

But now, as I'm thinking about the boys going back to school on Monday, I'm sad. Without them near me it's like I'm missing an arm or an eye or something.

I finally got my Mommy groove back.

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January 1, 2009

Two Lines

Last night I took a test. We haven't been trying, but I haven't been feeling very well lately and I just needed to know.

The moment I saw that second line appear so many things flashed through my head- just like a movie! Good and bad. Happy and scary. Ivy's just 3 months old. Another homebirth! FIVE kids?

I immediately ran into my bedroom and demanded hubby for t
he box. (Maybe I was a bit frantic.) LETMESEETHEBOX!

And for the first time in all the 8 years I've been tinkling on those sticks, two lines does not mean pregnant.

And for the first time in all my life I think that maybe just maybe I never want to take another pregnancy test again.

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