So much for trying to clear my plate a bit. I think I don't know how to stop shoveling it in. And my body finally took a stand and is making me stay in bed with the chills and aches and oh does it hurt to swallow now. And I am no longer speaking metaphorically.
But I have so much to do and no time as it is, getting sick is hard enough as a Mom. I can't have this right now.
And so I am in and out of sleep, sometimes delirious, and am frustrated at all the mistakes I've been making. The not giving it my all. Or giving it my all but stumbling over the mess that I'm making by not paying attention or having enough attention to pay. (And now I think the delirious is kicking in again.)
I can't help but think about this movie my Mom loved when I was growing up called Ice Castles. There's a scene where the girl does this amazing figure skating routine despite just losing her sight and the crowd goes wild and as she's taking her bow and exiting the rink she trips over all the roses the fans had thrown onto the ice. She hadn't planned for the roses and falls as her skates get caught up in the stems. And now her secret is out and everyone realizes she can't see.
I don't even know what I'm trying to say here. Except that maybe I feel like I shouldn't be complaining about anything or having too much on my plate because I am so thankful I have anything at all. And all this stuff that's tripping me up, it's good things. Opportunities and life and roses.
Just now you know maybe I can't do it all. I don't know how she does it! Well guess what? I don't. No one can do it all.
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