November 19, 2008

Honeys In The Hizzouse

Oh, the joys of life with a two-year-old.

You hear many, many people say “never let the baby run the house” and that’s just so much easier said than done, people. Especially when your toddler is like a peanut-sized trained pit bull ready to attack at any given moment- especially if you, say, look at him. Or offer him the wrong kind of cereal (which used to be his very favorite until this very second and HOW DARE YOU, MOTHER, YOU SHOULD HAVE KNOWN!)

Or, if you touch the favored cereal box without his permission first… he may never forgive you.

Currently that would be Honey Bunches of Oats, which he calls “his Honeys” and I try not to laugh because that only sends him into a bloody tailspin of teeth and tears and blood (mostly mine).

Ah, anyway. This cuddly ball-of-fright of a child likes to sleep with me more often than not. Maybe he’s guarding me? I think that’s more it. Talking in his sleep last night he cried out, “Daddy, don’t touch my honeys! Never touch my honeys!

After I removed his toe from my mouth, I consoled him promising that no one is going to touch his honeys. They are his honeys. His beloved honeys, which, upon preparing breakfast this morning, I offered so kindly and delicately, and then his hair stood up from his head and his eyes turned red and the pitch of his voice rattled the windows next door.

He doesn’t like the honeys anymore.


Originally posted March 10, 2008 at Close To Home.

32 comments:

  1. His honeys... That was cute. But the toe in my mouth? THAT I can relate to!!

    Oh, and don't you just love having a pink snow suit amidst all the blues and blacks?? :)

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  2. I used to talk in my sleep, too. Just pray he doesn't sleep walk.

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  3. Wait... were you at my house when this happened??? : )

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  4. Oh boy. Sounds like what I'm going through right now with my 25 month old. Give me hope...did he grow out of this phase yet?

    Nell

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  5. Hey Stephanie, I think we may have cyber-talked a while ago, and I know you're friends with Dawn Meehan also, and that you saw her last week at the Disney thing, right? Anyway, writing to let you know that I wrote an article responding to the Motrin PR DISASTER and it's up on BettyConfidential.com.

    I know you've got HUGE connections in the babywearing community so I thought maybe you could help share the news on the article. Also, you may know the woman who's video we have in the article? I tried to find out who she is but couldn't even figure out how to leave her a comment on it.

    So, hope this is not inappropriate to leave a long-winded comment here but the link to the article is:
    http://www.bettyconfidential.com/ar/h/a/a02840.html

    and if you want to get in touch about it you can email me at stephanieelliot@comcast.net

    And I hope to meet you at blogher since I'm in Woodridge and will be there! So excited it's in CHICAGO!

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  6. I think you nailed the toddler 'tude perfectly.

    Don't mess with a boy's honeys for sure!

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  7. Saku Seeky Peeky -- that is what the Honeys are called at our house. I know the attitude of which you speak. It is alive and well in our house too! :)

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  8. Ha! I love it. It is so hard not to laugh at your kiddos when they come up with such funny stuff.

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  9. We've got one of those at our house...only the girl version. :)

    Toddlers can be so exhausting!! But they are also too much fun for words, aren't they? It depends which day you get.

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  10. Oh my, sounds like you were at my house this morning, well, most mornings! My 2 year old (also a boy) is Jekyl and Hyde most days.

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  11. LOL My 2 year old is the same way. Adorable one minute, horns and a pitchfork the next.

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  12. I love the things kids yell out in their sleep, it's so funny.

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  13. I loved this post; thanks for posting it again! My toddler has just entered that phase. Right now his think is his "watch" which is actually a beer cozy. Yes, he runs around the house wearing it on his hand and we MUST notice it. But if we notice it before he says "look, my watch!" then we face the penalty: a HUGE scream of "NOOOOOO NOT YOURS MINE MINE MINE!!! Then nice and calmly: My watch. You Look?

    OH my.

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  14. I KNOW, right? Sometimes, I think about that whole not-letting-them-run-the- house thing. But then I'm too tired to actually ao anything about it.

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  15. I love that you compare toddlers to trained pitbulls. I've never heard a better comparison! Any lttle thing can set them off sometimes. Today at our house tears were streaming over a piece of paper about to be made into a snowflake that wasn't folded "Like Daddys". Who new there was a wrong way? "his Honeys" is too funny. Definately something for the baby book.

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  16. I am hoping I can just skip 2 with my Little G. That's possible, right?

    He's cute about his honeys...

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  17. That is so funny. And so typical. Toddlers! (Insert snort here.)

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  18. *ROFL* I believe our sons have a lot in common...although yours has more verbal going for him. :) Great story.

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  19. how cute is he!!! we have honey bunnies over here.

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  20. Oh my gosh, I think you have the male version of Lilla living in your house! She's a tornado, full of life and energy and she knows what she wants and doesn't. Whew, it is a serious thing!

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  21. That makes me smile! He is too adorable...in a 2 year old way :)

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  22. that's funny that he was talking in his sleep about the honeys!

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  23. That's so funny. It's as if he's talking about his cadre of streetwalkers. "Don't you touch my Honeys."

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  24. hahahaha That is so cute! My husband gets like that is I go near his Klondike bars!

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  25. Very hilarious! And I so wish kids would figure out what they like and stick with it. My dog is getting way overfed!

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  26. Oh Steph, I've missed reading you...life has been insane and I NEED your brand of reality to keep me grounded. Just wait til he starts dating and uses that phrase again. Takes on a whole new meaning, huh?

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  27. This post is great! Don't touch his honeys.....love it. Oh, I remember those two's, learning how to voice your opinion and doing it so that the whole world can hear.

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  28. Cute story. The things they think in their little minds!

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  29. Perfect picture for the post. I think you should reinforce this message

    "That's right babe, only Mommy, Daddy, or the doctor should ever touch your honeys. Or you. In your room, with the door closed"

    Looking forward to meeting you!

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