I was surprised at my reaction- there were two winter coats, plenty of jeans and sweaters- all enough to get him through the winter without buying anything new. I should be excited.
But these were the clothes Noah wore during the most difficult times of our lives. The shirt he was wearing the day before his first seizure. YES I REMEMBER.
I remember it all. As much as I've tried to forget it, a mother can never forget that.
For this very reason is why I've saved so many of these things at all. In a way they are my touchstone- look how far we've come.
I haven't decided if I will let Gray wear some of these things. I'm a big girl and it's been over four years, but sometimes painful memories can be hard to shake. Maybe I should go easy on myself. Maybe I just shouldn't go there at all.
These things. Maybe these things can stay in the box for a little while longer.